Chad1988 Posted October 31, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 13 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/31/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted October 31, 2016 Hi. Im going to try keep this as short as possible. Ive been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now. Before we met, i was a born again Christian for 2 years. I made a promise to not have sex again until marriage. Then i met my gf and after 2 weeks we had done it. I thought it would be ok since we are married in Gods eyes (which apparently isnt the case in the NT). But we are both Christian. We live together now, but im starting to get doubts and confused about our relationship. I want to grow closer to God and His Word but out views on certain things are different. For example, I dont like watching secular movies or listening to secular music at all. I also believe strongly in Gods Word and believe that is His guide for us. Wheras she sometimes will compromise and say she just lets God guide her in her heart. Yet His word is our guide. And the bible says the heart is deceptive. We have argued a few times about these sorts of things and its frustrating. I dont want to compromise with Gods Word. Either a person believes the Bible to be the Word of God and obeys it to the best of their ability or they dont. I want to try. And I want to repent for what we have done with our sexual lives and change until marriage. Am I being selfish? She is very soft and i do love her. Im just worried what she will say if i tell her this is what i want to do. I want her to be onboard with me and with making God happy instead of living how we "think" or "feel" God wanta us to. I want us to obey His Word and happily do it together. What can I do about this? I need advice from mature understanding Christians please. And we cant marry now because im studying and dont have a job yet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted October 31, 2016 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 208 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted October 31, 2016 Welcome~! Praying~! Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD. Proverbs 18:22 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted October 31, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,806 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 31, 2016 Blessings Chad Welcome to Worthy,you are a Christian so this Thread is in the wrong place,I'm sure it will be moved so I will respond,the Outer Court is for unbelievers & guests to ask questions about our Faith & interact with us as they do not have access to our Inner Court.....send you a PM with posting info to help.... I don't understand what studying & being unemployed has to do with getting married?You did say you live together,is that right? So I would understand why you would not be able to support a wife & yourself but who is supporting you now,If I may ask?The whole thing sound like it was very impulsive tome,honestly,you are dating for only 10 months ,you have already moved in together & have been intimate....now the reservations start?Relationships take time,they take time to begin to grow & then marriage is contemplated,given serious thought & prayer before you jump in.....now that you already 'jumped in" you are looking to follow Gods Word & His Ways,all I can say is "Better late than never"! Chad,God must be FIRST in both of your lives,first in each individuals life & first together as one flesh.......when each of you are complete & whole with God as your Leader,Guide & Director(your First Love) then you really should not have such different mind sets because you both put everything before God,do you pray together? Worship together? Bible study together? If TV & other things are an issue perhaps those are the things that need be eliminated or put on the back burner? Do you 2 go to church,have a Pastor?Do you fellowship with other Christians? You both need to take a good hard look at what you are both doing,separately & together in CHRIST? I think it just may be that you both have to grow in your Relationship with our Lord and you have to sit down together and help one another to grow spiritually...if girlfriends heart & mind are not headed in this direction you just may need to go back home(each of you) & start fresh........that is one of the beautiful things about being a Christian,each day is a New Beginning where we strive towards Perfection in Christ Jesus,we are repentant & willing to learn & grow near & nearer Him & He is ever patient ,.Understanding & all Forgiving.....He helps us renew our minds,HE convicts & softens our hearts by His New Mercy each & every day........go TOGETHER to our Heavenly Father & ask Him to direct your path With love-in Christ,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted October 31, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 185 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,224 Content Per Day: 3.34 Reputation: 16,647 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted October 31, 2016 Kwikphilly has spoken well. Try leading in family devotions. Read a chapter from the Gospels, reading a chapter a night though the book, then lead in prayer. Pray a fairly short prayer praising God, thanking God for her and asking God to bless and help her, and then allow her to pray aloud. This allows you to agree with each other and add to either of your thoughts. It is called conversational prayer. This should bind your hearts very close. If you intend to marry, do so very soon in a private wedding, perhaps by your pastor. You can renew your vows later in a large wedding after you have a job. But it is very important that you be in the habit of praying together, reading the Bible together, and attending church together now or it may never happen. Creating a good marriage is a life long commitment. You both will constantly have to work at it. And it involves always having to say I'm sorry I hurt you, please forgive me. It involves always learning what God says your own part in marriage is. Lead by example. Allow Christ in you to love her when she is unlovable, forgive her when she had done the unforgivable, and minister to her by serving her. Just telling you what God has done in my own husband. Willa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted October 31, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted October 31, 2016 13 hours ago, Chad1988 said: Hi. Im going to try keep this as short as possible. Ive been dating my girlfriend for 10 months now. Before we met, i was a born again Christian for 2 years. I made a promise to not have sex again until marriage. Then i met my gf and after 2 weeks we had done it. I thought it would be ok since we are married in Gods eyes (which apparently isnt the case in the NT). But we are both Christian. We live together now, but im starting to get doubts and confused about our relationship. I want to grow closer to God and His Word but out views on certain things are different. For example, I dont like watching secular movies or listening to secular music at all. I also believe strongly in Gods Word and believe that is His guide for us. Wheras she sometimes will compromise and say she just lets God guide her in her heart. Yet His word is our guide. And the bible says the heart is deceptive. We have argued a few times about these sorts of things and its frustrating. I dont want to compromise with Gods Word. Either a person believes the Bible to be the Word of God and obeys it to the best of their ability or they dont. I want to try. And I want to repent for what we have done with our sexual lives and change until marriage. Am I being selfish? She is very soft and i do love her. Im just worried what she will say if i tell her this is what i want to do. I want her to be onboard with me and with making God happy instead of living how we "think" or "feel" God wanta us to. I want us to obey His Word and happily do it together. What can I do about this? I need advice from mature understanding Christians please. And we cant marry now because im studying and dont have a job yet. You say that you had a sexual relationship with your girlfriend. You say that you know that this is against what the Bible teaches for a Christian. What is your age? Living together is also against what the Bible teaches. Is your girlfriend compromising God's Word? Is she have one foot on earth and one foot in heaven meaning she is a "said" Christian only? They usually use the word "Christian" when it is convenient to them. They are not really a born again Christian. Maybe you are getting these doubts because the Holy Spirit is convicting you and trying to tell you that the road you are going down is the wrong road. I think you need to tell your girlfriend what is on your heart. You need to be honest with her. See what her response is. You do not want her to lead you astray from your belief in God. That would be a huge mistake for your salvation. First of all you need to make a decision if you want to be a born again Christian and obey what He wants for your life. You need to find separate place to live. Not live together. Not have a sexual intimate relationship that God tells us is reserved for marriage. You need to live according to how Scripture tells us we should live. It sounds like you have a pretty good grasp of that. If your girlfriend is against this you are not compatible. She does not want to follow God but you do. You need to give this a lot of prayer and put it in the hands of God. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nicole Williams Posted November 1, 2016 Group: Members Followers: 3 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 69 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 95 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/29/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 05/26/1989 Share Posted November 1, 2016 I appreciate your desire to honor God in your relationship. I think it would be a good idea if you can sit down with your girlfriend and talk to her to express your concerns, beliefs, and expectations. May be this can be helpful in setting appropriate boundaries -- Communication is the key! I will certainly be praying for you, asking that the Lord will speak directly to your heart about this matter and that you will be enabled to obey His commandments out of a heightened awareness of His love. Blessings! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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