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How do I remove the desire for a significant other?


Sailingsoul

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1 minute ago, Sailingsoul said:

how is it selfish to love another person?

Please point out where in what I posted that says anything of the sort.

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1 minute ago, Churchmouse said:

Please point out where in what I posted that says anything of the sort.

I saw it in your post, die u edit it ? Anyway, that first bit saying its centered on me implies selfishness..also.. I asked how can thr desire be removed..you didnt really tell me how to remove the desire

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1 minute ago, Sailingsoul said:

also, i do have friends( though i only text them) i make sure they feel loved and theyve told me they appreciate me.

you are bypassing my question to you. I asked if you if you ever tried to be a friend to yourself.  there is a huge difference in the too.

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2 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

you are bypassing my question to you. I asked if you if you ever tried to be a friend to yourself.  there is a huge difference in the too.

and youre by passing mine. You never told me how to remove such desires as i do have alot to work on and as I am in not ready to be married ....

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1 minute ago, Sailingsoul said:

I saw it in your post, die u edit it ? Anyway, that first bit saying its centered on me implies selfishness..also.. I asked how can thr desire be removed..you didnt really tell me how to remove the desire

No what I said centers around a fear of letting go. Selfishness is is a thing of hoarding. fear of letting go is a confidence thing that will color the way people see you as a person.

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Just now, Churchmouse said:

No what I said centers around a fear of letting go. Selfishness is is a thing of hoarding. fear of letting go is a confidence thing that will color the way people see you as a person.

what do you mean a confidence thing? Anyway to answer your question.. My relationship with myself is okay.. Its hard to treat myself better when I cant seem to do much right and feel like a failure. My thoughts are kinda negative....its hard to change..ive tried..i just feel ill feel better about myself when I acheive something. I've been trying but have had major setbacks more than the average person which leads me to believe im kind of a failure.. I'm trying to Chan that thinking too.

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Just now, Sailingsoul said:

and youre by passing mine. You never told me how to remove such desires as i do have alot to work on and as I am in not ready to be married ....

If you are going to continue to dodge me then I will have no recourse but to leave you where you are.  I am not obliged to help you in the manner you wish, especially if I think it will exacerbate a deeper problem.  You sound like you are giving up and I don't let people give up on themselves. That is why I'm taking the tack I am.

 

If I am irritating you, then I apologize and withdraw from this thread.

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6 minutes ago, Churchmouse said:

If you are going to continue to dodge me then I will have no recourse but to leave you where you are.  I am not obliged to help you in the manner you wish, especially if I think it will exacerbate a deeper problem.  You sound like you are giving up and I don't let people give up on themselves. That is why I'm taking the tack I am.

 

If I am irritating you, then I apologize and withdraw from this thread.

I answered your question. ...but how is it giving up if I ask for the desire be removed? I cant know for certain ill be married, so its best I'm not distracted by these feelings... So it wont drive me crazy...if I'm not gonna be married, theres no purpose for these feelings and desires.

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6 minutes ago, Sailingsoul said:

I answered your question. ...but how is it giving up if I ask for the desire be removed? I cant know for certain ill be married, so its best I'm not distracted by these feelings... So it wont drive me crazy...if I'm not gonna be married, theres no purpose for these feelings and desires.

You have a desire. A desire to marry? Do you think that God has put that desire on your heart? Do you think you are fighting that desire? Why? How do you not want to be distracted by "these feelings". What feelings? How do you know that you will not be married?

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2 minutes ago, Sailingsoul said:

what do you mean a confidence thing? Anyway to answer your question.

 (1)My relationship with myself is okay..

(2)Its hard to treat myself better when I cant seem to do much right and feel like a failure.

 

My thoughts are kinda negative....its hard to change..ive tried..i just feel ill feel better about myself when I acheive something. I've been trying but have had major setbacks more than the average person which leads me to believe im kind of a failure.. I'm trying to Chan that thinking too.

Therein lies your problem. number one is totally opposite of number two.

Your thoughts are negative because you always return to your past  quote/unquote failures and you don't realize that those where not failures. They were learning experience on what won't work for you.

You are waiting for this magic word called success to suddenly appear out of nowhere before you will fell quote/unquote better about yourself.  That isn't the way things happen. You have opportunities all around you that pop in and out of your life. They don't wait for you to feel better about yourself, especially when you are already a success. You just took the wrong lesson when winning evaded you.

 

you don't try to change your attitude. You get pissed off enough at where you are in your head and just move out of it or you stay where you are and lick your imaginary wounds.

 

I'm telling you this, because I have been where you are and have contemplated ending my life on several occasions. I've worked out the details and have gathered everything I needed to do the job, but I always failed to do the ultimate failure and kill myself, because life is a success.  How many people do you know that were younger than you and were taken from the world before they should have? You are still here and that makes you a success. You just haven't recognized it because you are concentrating on what you haven't done instead of what you have.

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