cherubim Posted November 1, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 3 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 267 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 372 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted November 1, 2016 I wonder if anyone has faced what I am now facing. My sister invaded my boundaries by texting my adult children to attend a function where there was someone who I deem unsafe there. I was livid and she caused unbearable stress in my family. When I confronted her, she pointed the finger at *me* rather than owning up to her own mistakes. I told her to cease contacting my children - I regretted that I had given her their contact information. She refused and announced she can contact who she wants! I contacted a Christian counselor who told me that she violated my boundaries. I waited a few months and attempted to reconnect. The first thing she did was point the finger at ME. I gave her a heavy dose of the truth back and she didn't like it. Then my daughter told me she's been texting her! She has no respect for others' boundaries. I can't believe someone would keep pushing themselves into your family like that. She never had children, and I told her she doesn't understand. I told her that my children are not hers. My husband said she's delusional - that she insists she has children - but they're not hers - they are stepchildren. I tried so hard to reason with her - to no avail. I re-read our conversation this morning and I spoke truth - she wanted to remain in the darkness. It hurts. I told her I was sorry that rather than face truth she was willing to sever a relationship. Have others dealt with this? She keeps trying to get my adult children hooked in with her. Now I don't want her involved in their lives. I even contacted a lawyer to see what my options are - an unfortunate drastic step. He said unless my children complain, she can continue doing it. She does not have a love of the truth, and I don't want her wooing them into her darkness. My adult children are not spiritually mature, and cannot see the real issues and what she really is. Can others pray for this? It has caused my husband & I much grief. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherubim Posted November 1, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 3 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 267 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 372 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 1, 2016 I am suffering. I am uncertain what to do in these circumstances. What would you do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest bonnieschamberger Posted November 2, 2016 Share Posted November 2, 2016 Yes ..though my situation wasnt exactly the same in detail it is definately the same personality I dealt with for 10 years.I had a best friend who really wasnt a friend at all her personality was full on high demand ,aggressive ,all about her and all her problems ALL the time and she knew no boundaries.In the beginning we found each other because very dark circumstances kind of threw us together in this unhealthy mix of things and over time I thought all of this would smooth out ..she could come down...we would end up in a healthy good friend situation..yeah just over the rainbow wishful thinking....but no as I got help and came more and more into the light it seemed she wanted and tried more and more to drag me into the dark.That last year I did final tests on it ...in the past I could never tell her anything positive she always shot it down and returned the conversation to her....so that last year everytime I had something positive..even a little bit I would tell her and she tore it apart..I told her I did an audition for someones band and that I didnt get it but I had such a fun time auditioning becuase thats incredibly brave for me and she said"whatever anybody can sing". It was years worth of thought and prayer but I finally left for the last time from her house full of drama and darkness ..drove home at 3 in the morning and changed my number and I prayed and prayed she wouldnt show up at my job and she never did and now it been over 2 years and I still dont regret my decision.I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me.Those first few weeks I prayed hard for her to be blessed with a husband and taken care of because thats all she used to talk about...but that last time I prayed for her I felt God tell me "okay I have her you can give her to me just let go" and I truly did after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted November 2, 2016 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 208 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted November 2, 2016 13 hours ago, cherubim said: I am suffering. I am uncertain what to do in these circumstances. What would you do? Pray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherubim Posted November 2, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 3 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 267 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 372 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 2, 2016 2 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said: Yes ..though my situation wasnt exactly the same in detail it is definately the same personality I dealt with for 10 years.I had a best friend who really wasnt a friend at all her personality was full on high demand ,aggressive ,all about her and all her problems ALL the time and she knew no boundaries.In the beginning we found each other because very dark circumstances kind of threw us together in this unhealthy mix of things and over time I thought all of this would smooth out ..she could come down...we would end up in a healthy good friend situation..yeah just over the rainbow wishful thinking....but no as I got help and came more and more into the light it seemed she wanted and tried more and more to drag me into the dark.That last year I did final tests on it ...in the past I could never tell her anything positive she always shot it down and returned the conversation to her....so that last year everytime I had something positive..even a little bit I would tell her and she tore it apart..I told her I did an audition for someones band and that I didnt get it but I had such a fun time auditioning becuase thats incredibly brave for me and she said"whatever anybody can sing". It was years worth of thought and prayer but I finally left for the last time from her house full of drama and darkness ..drove home at 3 in the morning and changed my number and I prayed and prayed she wouldnt show up at my job and she never did and now it been over 2 years and I still dont regret my decision.I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of me.Those first few weeks I prayed hard for her to be blessed with a husband and taken care of because thats all she used to talk about...but that last time I prayed for her I felt God tell me "okay I have her you can give her to me just let go" and I truly did after that. That resonated with me. You were fortunate that you were able to disentangle her from your life - it's almost like tentacles of darkness. I sincerely hope and pray that God will deal with her about her lies - and if she does not come to the truth that God puts a shield where she can not cross - that she will be forever prevented from contacting my children. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Churchmouse Posted November 2, 2016 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 91 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 2,216 Content Per Day: 0.80 Reputation: 1,014 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/29/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/02/1958 Share Posted November 2, 2016 17 hours ago, cherubim said: I wonder if anyone has faced what I am now facing. My sister invaded my boundaries by texting my adult children to attend a function where there was someone who I deem unsafe there. I was livid and she caused unbearable stress in my family. When I confronted her, she pointed the finger at *me* rather than owning up to her own mistakes. I told her to cease contacting my children - I regretted that I had given her their contact information. She refused and announced she can contact who she wants! I contacted a Christian counselor who told me that she violated my boundaries. I waited a few months and attempted to reconnect. The first thing she did was point the finger at ME. I gave her a heavy dose of the truth back and she didn't like it. Then my daughter told me she's been texting her! She has no respect for others' boundaries. I can't believe someone would keep pushing themselves into your family like that. She never had children, and I told her she doesn't understand. I told her that my children are not hers. My husband said she's delusional - that she insists she has children - but they're not hers - they are stepchildren. I tried so hard to reason with her - to no avail. I re-read our conversation this morning and I spoke truth - she wanted to remain in the darkness. It hurts. I told her I was sorry that rather than face truth she was willing to sever a relationship. Have others dealt with this? She keeps trying to get my adult children hooked in with her. Now I don't want her involved in their lives. I even contacted a lawyer to see what my options are - an unfortunate drastic step. He said unless my children complain, she can continue doing it. She does not have a love of the truth, and I don't want her wooing them into her darkness. My adult children are not spiritually mature, and cannot see the real issues and what she really is. Can others pray for this? It has caused my husband & I much grief. I suggest that you need to speak hard truths to yourself and decide wither you want to call a sibling who does these things a sister, to begin with. If you continue on relating to her in this capacity it will continue to cloud your thinking with your own vision of what a sister should be, instead of accepting the truth of how she feels about the subject. Blood is only thicker than water if that blood isn't trying to spray you in the face with a fire hose full of septic water. This type of behavior seems to suggest that she, either has some mental issues or is jealous of what you have and is trying to upstage you. No matter what, she's is being seriously disrespectful to everybody involved and confronting her seems only to make things worse. This boarders on hateful and I suggest you talk to your kids about blocking her from any means of contacting them, including social media. Once you've got them to agree with doing that, confront your sister face to face and tell her that since she has disrespected your family that your family as a whole is blocking her from all contact except for letters to you, that will keep the lines open for her to keep in contact, but only under your control, so that if she straightens up or gets help you can continue your relationship with her under your guidelines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherubim Posted November 2, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 3 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 267 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 372 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 2, 2016 17 minutes ago, Churchmouse said: I suggest that you need to speak hard truths to yourself and decide wither you want to call a sibling who does these things a sister, to begin with. If you continue on relating to her in this capacity it will continue to cloud your thinking with your own vision of what a sister should be, instead of accepting the truth of how she feels about the subject. Blood is only thicker than water if that blood isn't trying to spray you in the face with a fire hose full of septic water. This type of behavior seems to suggest that she, either has some mental issues or is jealous of what you have and is trying to upstage you. No matter what, she's is being seriously disrespectful to everybody involved and confronting her seems only to make things worse. This boarders on hateful and I suggest you talk to your kids about blocking her from any means of contacting them, including social media. Once you've got them to agree with doing that, confront your sister face to face and tell her that since she has disrespected your family that your family as a whole is blocking her from all contact except for letters to you, that will keep the lines open for her to keep in contact, but only under your control, so that if she straightens up or gets help you can continue your relationship with her under your guidelines. You grasped it - I think she does want what I have. She has been extremely disrespectful - it is sadistic that she would do this knowing of the heavy medical trials we are undergoing. You are right - confronting her - "speak the truth in love..." has been useless. She just attacks me. It may be hard to get my children to block her - they don't see what I do - they just see her being super nice to them (for nefarious reasons - I think if she could get me out of the picture she would - and step into my life) Will you please pray that my children will see the truth about her? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cherubim Posted November 3, 2016 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 3 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 267 Content Per Day: 0.10 Reputation: 372 Days Won: 0 Joined: 10/26/2016 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 3, 2016 21 hours ago, FresnoJoe said: Pray Thanks. I have been. Maybe God is calling me to more. A pastor I spoke with told me to pray for her salvation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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