Realove Posted November 10, 2016 Group: Newbie Followers: 1 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/10/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted November 10, 2016 I need help! So my partner and i are both christians and were at the stage of our relationship where we want to get married! The problem is both our parents are non christian and they dont want us to have a simple wedding but yet go with what they want and what kind of wedding they want for us! Knowing we dont have alot of money we still want to pay for the wedding ourselves its completely u conventional and totally different and yes it still cost within the thousands! We've talked to out church friends and leaders and they are all for it! So how do we equally honour God and our parents in this situation? We are both living away from our homes in different houses and because we want to start our marriage right we dont live together. They rather us save money buy a house and then get married, they also prefer if we live together than get married but we want to honour God and start our marriage right! please pray for us and give us advice on what we should do? As we both want to honour God and our parenta but above all God Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted November 10, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted November 10, 2016 10 hours ago, Realove said: I need help! So my partner and i are both christians and were at the stage of our relationship where we want to get married! The problem is both our parents are non christian and they dont want us to have a simple wedding but yet go with what they want and what kind of wedding they want for us! Knowing we dont have alot of money we still want to pay for the wedding ourselves its completely u conventional and totally different and yes it still cost within the thousands! We've talked to out church friends and leaders and they are all for it! So how do we equally honour God and our parents in this situation? We are both living away from our homes in different houses and because we want to start our marriage right we dont live together. They rather us save money buy a house and then get married, they also prefer if we live together than get married but we want to honour God and start our marriage right! please pray for us and give us advice on what we should do? As we both want to honour God and our parenta but above all God How old are you? Are you a male or a female? The person you want to marry is the opposite sex? You said "partner" so I do not know. Having parents that are not Christian complicates everything. Isn't this a decision that you and your friend should be making and not your parents? You need to sit down with both sets of parents and tell them what you want. You could even get married in a home before a Pastor or Minister with a couple of witnesses. That is very simple and cheap. Or you could do what your parents want you to do if you want their financial support. You need to bring all of this to God in prayer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted November 10, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 86 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,857 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,580 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted November 10, 2016 First, God bless you both, and praise God for bringing you together! How great it is that you're both committed to not giving into the pressure of modern societal values and co-habiting, living in sin, before marriage. You are not children anymore. Yes, we must always honor our parents...but that does not mean we follow their every order. We are not their slaves. Pray to God to discover HIS will for your marriage, and then follow that. God outranks your parents. It is your wedding, not your parents', and you must decide what it best for your lives, what honors God's will, what is correct financially for you, etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ezra Posted November 11, 2016 Group: Royal Member Followers: 16 Topic Count: 134 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 8,142 Content Per Day: 2.36 Reputation: 6,612 Days Won: 20 Joined: 11/02/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted November 11, 2016 17 hours ago, Realove said: The problem is both our parents are non christian and they dont want us to have a simple wedding but yet go with what they want and what kind of wedding they want for us! Hi, Realove, and Welcome. The solution is simple. If the parents on both sides wish to bear the cost, let them. Simply stipulate that the wedding should not be extravagant or elaborate. This will save you the cost of the wedding, and everyone will be happy. If they do not wish to bear the cost, let them know that you have a limited budget for this event, and leave it at that. 17 hours ago, Realove said: They rather us save money buy a house and then get married... You both can politely remind all the parents that you appreciate their advice, but will do what your incomes allow. 17 hours ago, Realove said: they also prefer if we live together than get married Here is a good opportunity to share your Christian testimony and let them know that as Christians, you cannot go along with this idea. In any event this is your life, your wedding, and your marriage. They can suggest and advise, but you both should make the ultimate godly decisions. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest BacKaran Posted November 11, 2016 Share Posted November 11, 2016 Welcome! My Roman Catholic mom was shocked that I planned to be married by a judge than an rcc priest. WE had a small gathering at the courthouse, took the 50 people to breakfast and then had a reception for dancing on the cheap in the evening. Do your own thing. It's your wedding! .? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Neighbor Posted December 7, 2016 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 18 Topic Count: 950 Topics Per Day: 0.35 Content Count: 13,525 Content Per Day: 5.02 Reputation: 9,027 Days Won: 6 Joined: 12/04/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/03/1885 Share Posted December 7, 2016 (edited) Congratulations! May God bless. The union between man and woman is the separation from one thing and the joining under God's authority into another. Ceremony is different from show, so it is encouraging to read that you both are taking time to prayerfully think through what you find God is leading you to do regarding your upcoming union. May I suggest that you both while together take time to in a very kind manner declare to your parents your decisions regarding the ceremony? Thank them for the lifetime of sacrifice they have made to get you to the point where you are substantually in charge of your life, plus ready willing and able to go forward into marriage, and perhaps family raising, yourself. Sixty years ago I was married at a backyard poolside ceremony. It was nice, very nice, not so much for the trappings, but instead for the marking of the vows we made to each other, which we did before God, in the presence of family and friends. Recently, as a widower, I was married again, it was a "just the two of us" ceremony. It was just as significant as the first,- for the same reason. The formalizing of the union is just as significant today as it was when I was many decades younger. Though laws regulations family and most circumstance makes it seem that just living together and formalizing a contract might have been easier. The difference is heart felt within me for having made that formal commitment called marriage. May God guide you both as you two also begin what will be the deeply defining mark of your bond-servanthood relation to our Lord and savior Jesus. That being marriage, as our Lord uses "wedding" as the message that we may understand, for our eternal relationship with Him. It is certainly serious stuff that requires you to step up and take on high responsibility. May the Holy Spirit guide you to the appropriate knowledge to be found within the word of God. And may the process you are going through become, a defining moment toward both sets of parents learning of Jesus and accepting his Lordship too! Edited December 7, 2016 by Neighbor Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScottA Posted December 27, 2016 Group: Senior Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 10 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 552 Content Per Day: 0.21 Reputation: 104 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/24/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted December 27, 2016 On 11/9/2016 at 11:56 PM, Realove said: I need help! So my partner and i are both christians and were at the stage of our relationship where we want to get married! The problem is both our parents are non christian and they dont want us to have a simple wedding but yet go with what they want and what kind of wedding they want for us! Knowing we dont have alot of money we still want to pay for the wedding ourselves its completely u conventional and totally different and yes it still cost within the thousands! We've talked to out church friends and leaders and they are all for it! So how do we equally honour God and our parents in this situation? We are both living away from our homes in different houses and because we want to start our marriage right we dont live together. They rather us save money buy a house and then get married, they also prefer if we live together than get married but we want to honour God and start our marriage right! please pray for us and give us advice on what we should do? As we both want to honour God and our parenta but above all God "Who is my mother and who are my brethren?" Honor God, and those who do the will of God, they are your true parents. As for your biological parents, "respect" is the better word. Show "respect" in sharing your well intended plans for marriage - they'll come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No124get1952 Posted February 7, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 159 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 184 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/31/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/17/1952 Share Posted February 7, 2017 There have been lots of excellent replies to your question. Yes, you are adults and you can do anything you want. Yet, you are sensitive to the "honor your parents" commandment (expecially since it's the first commandment with a promise...long life). What I see is that God is leading you both to be a testimony to your parents. While there is no need to flaunt your faith, go to both parents ( a great idea would be for you both to take them to dinner; kind of a triple date) and let them know your desires. Then open the floor for suggestions so that everyone becomes a part of the process. I think it is wisdom to let the mothers participate with the understanding you will only complain if things get too "out of hand". That way "everyone" feels good; you get a great start; and you get to represent Jesus. I agree about not living together before marriage; even if you weren't Christians, I think that sort of thing is up to the couple. But I do believe it is wisdom to let your parents help with the wedding (especially since they are paying). That way they feel they have done their part and you both have honored your parents without denying your faith. Paul said, "inasmuch as it is possible, live in peace with all men". Having been married myself, family peace is a treasured commodity and it goes a loooooong way to leading unbelievers into the faith. Blessings Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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