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Gift of Singleness


Guest Myrtle&Palm

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Guest Myrtle&Palm

Shalom,

I have a question about the gift of singleness.

I'm 35 and still single. I've have only been in two serious relationship. Neither one was a success. I have been in a long spell of singleness. Partly because of a physical disability. I really dislike it so I'm thinking it can't be a gift right?

I love my time with the L-rd and my "me" time but I'm growing lonelier every year, especially in the still of the night. Everyone I know is either married with children, or they have someone. I hope I'm not being called to be a single saint. If I am, it's very reluctant.

P.S. I have been deeply hurt in the past.

I could use some  sage advice.

Thank you

Myrtle&Palm

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Blessings Myrtle & Palm

    Welcome to Worthy.....I'm not sure why this is in the Seekers Lounge,you are a Christian right?"Sending time with my Lord"......I pray you are speaking of Christ Jesus!!!!The Outer Court Section is reserved for unbelievers,"seekers" & guest to pose questions & begin Threads as they do not have access to all our Forums ,if you are a Christian you do not YET have access because you do not YET have the required minimum(5) posts,so perhaps you are still confused as I've already explained this?????

   Well,hoping you are a Christian I will say this "Seek ye first the Kingdom of God & ALL things will be added"

Quote

King James Bible
But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.
Matthew 6:33

My son was about your age & asking me the very same questions.......I told him he had not forsaken 'self" & was hindering Holy Spirits Power which he is Indwelled ....when the complete Peace & Joy of the Lord Jesus is missing then you are certainly "incomplete" and you must keep your eyes on Jesus,when He is your FIRST Love & your hearts desire is for Him FIRST & FOREMOST then you can begin to, RECEIVE those fruits of the Spirit...which results in producing such.......my son said"I don't understand Mom,I really don't because I love Jesus,I'm just lonely".....My reply was "Do you really LOVE Him" Then why are you distracted by your carnal desires?

    My child thought about it,prayed about it & in taking my advice he began to praise,pray and really "spend time"with God in His Word....he was now asking God to change the desires of his heart & to help him to forsake the flesh........long story short,he was indeed completed ,all that being pre-occupied with "self" vanished & the funniest thing happened,in a very short time he found a Godly woman he made his wife & 5 years later they have 3 beautiful children    I'm not saying this will happen to you but I am saying when you feel a "void" it is a red flag to signal you are not Receiving ALL that God has for you,you are not living the Life More Abundant that Jesus paid the ultimate price that you may live(& what a price indeed)    The most important Relationship in anyone's life is with the One Who First Loved us.......He knows the Plans He has for you my friend& if you will just learn to trust that you could never ask or imagine anything better then watch & see what happens!!!!!!Dive into His Word,jump up & Praise Him just for waking up this morning,Receive the Joy He has for you with gladness,enthusiasm & great EXPECTATIONS.......            But most importantly,like I told my son,the only thing standing in the Way is YOU,ask He help you to forsake your own hearts desires & change them to what He would have therm to be!!!!!                   With love-in Christ,Kwik

   BTW,in my own personal experiences I have come to find out that God puts 2 WHOLES together to become ONE with Him Producing DOUBLE Blessing & Favor....only man adds a half & a half to make a whole

   

 

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12 hours ago, Myrtle&Palm said:

I have a question about the gift of singleness.

Hi M&P, and Welcome.  There is no such thing as the "gift of singleness".  Whoever planted this in your mind is completely off-track. The Bible makes marriage THE NORM from Genesis to Revelation. Forced celibacy is called a "doctrine of devils". 

12 hours ago, Myrtle&Palm said:

I really dislike it so I'm thinking it can't be a gift right?

There you go.  It is not a gift.

12 hours ago, Myrtle&Palm said:

I hope I'm not being called to be a single saint.

Spouses don't drop out of the sky. Plan your strategy, then work your plan.  There are numerous legitimate ways to meet potential marriage partners.  Ask for the Lord's help, but make some serious efforts and take some initiative.

12 hours ago, Myrtle&Palm said:

I have been deeply hurt in the past.

We all have been hurt or deeply hurt in the past.  That does not mean we carry hurts and grudges around.  Please put the past behind you and make a fresh start.  Give yourself a goal, and work towards it.  There are many happily married couples with disabilities.  

Also some serious self-examination and self-assessment may be in order. Ask yourself if there is anything in your mental attitude or behavior that could become a barrier to a sound relationship.

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Ezra and Kwik have both spoken well, so just let me add to pray to God to bring you the right person on His time...and to pray that He would reveal to you anything He wants you to change before that. Ask Him not just to bring you someone, but to make sure that you yourself are someone He wants to bring to another of His children. God bless!

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Hi Myrtle&Palm,

I'm 39 and still single. I also have disabilities, and although it doesn't hinder my mind I think the first thing men see with me is an amputee in a wheelchair, and it's only when they get to know me that the image fades a bit into the background. I was engaged until February of this year, but I realised I was doing something I had promised myself never to do - I was settling out of loneliness, so I broke it off.

You can't affect how other people think, so the only person you can work on is yourself, and that is through prayer. I think by now your self-esteem has taken a hit, but I think the most important thing for you is to love yourself, as God loves you. That film with Tom Cruise 'Jerry Maguire', where he says 'you complete me' to Renee Zellwegger is just such complete rubbish because you should be complete in yourself, otherwise you're put in the position of being reliant on someone else to make your life worthwhile. We as disabled people are reliant on other people enough to feel like burdens as it is! So I'm going to let you in on a secret....

You are a precious, worthwhile, loved, special and unique human being. There is no-one on this planet exactly like you, or ever has been in the history of mankind. You have a lot to offer any man, so if they're not looking that's their problem and nothing to do with you. Practically everyone alive has self issues, so even if people were available to be in a relationship with you, they might end up being too much of a burden on you. 

I can't promise that you will ever be married, I don't even know for myself. But you can't spend your life waiting for a guy to sweep you off your feet and take you away from everything, because life doesn't work that way and you'll end up disappointed. Love yourself as God loves you, and pray not to care if you ever get married. Surprisingly, it's often when that happens you end up meeting someone, right out of the blue. So stop looking so hard Myrtle m'dear, and take some time out to look after yourself.

God bless you and keep, I really do understand how you feel, and have sympathy. I pray you find peace in God and His dear Son Jesus.

Love,

Emily

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This book might make you feel better..

Kidfree & Lovin' It! - Whether by Choice, Chance or Circumstance: The complete guide to living as a non-parent by Kaye D. Walters

Prayers, Love. - Heb

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Hello friend! I just want to say that I can understand where you are coming from, as I too have health conditions that cause me to isolate myself from others. But when you say you are growing lonelier every year, I believe that is where the issue lies. See, people are always going to let you down, and we try to set higher standards for people who we seem to care more about, and when that person let's us down, we fall into a state of "depression", or just unhappiness, because the person you put your trust in has let you down. But in reality, why do we expect perfection out of an imperfect human being? There is only one man that we can trust in to never let us down, and that is Jesus Christ. A relationship is a wonderful thing, absolutely! But why don't we value our relationship with Christ as much as our relationships with imperfect, sinful human beings? It's because we want to please ourselves, and our own desires. Love cannot be found through another human being unless you truly know what love is my friend, and god is true love. So in order to live in love, you must live in god first, and he will give these things to you when the time is right! God bless you friend, and seek first the kingdom of god! :)

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Hello,I understand...Im 42 and not married...on top of that i never knew my mother or father(earthly)...the last serious relationship i had was at 23....so i do understand...but i also understand that 

(Pro 3:13  Happy is the man that findeth wisdom, and the man that getteth understanding). Try not to let the enemy make you think you are alone(.Heb 13:5  Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.) i have my ups and downs too...latly i have been reading Proverbs and Isaiah...well listening to them on bible gate way audio..when all is Quiet at night i listen, lying in bed with my eyes closed...some deep Wisdom in those books...So lets wait on the Lord no matter what and be happy...i know we can because the word says (Php_4:13  I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. )

i write this not because im so strong all the time,but because at the moment i am content with being single.and the Word tells me that when im doing good i should try to help others.GB
 

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Odd that I should come by your thread. At age 73, and after being married over 48 years till the death of my spouse. I had no inclination to  marry again. God saw it differently, and after six years I am married as of October of  this year.

So what? Well there is a point- My new bride and I visited the Shaker Village at Canterbury New Hampshire, quite by  hapstance (least we didn't plan it), and received  an  incredibly insightful history  presented by a man that had lived there  for 50 years as a non-shaker resident of the communal village. We are still so enthralled by the history of that odd little movement that came from England and flourished here for a time that we also have fallen in love with their artifacts and art.

They were an extremely productive group that welcomed all persons whether Shakers or not into their midst. They were very inventive with highly developed community  work ethic and spirit.

 They found how to live a communal existence that  avoided marriage! The Shaker style of living failed upon the coming of the woman's right to vote and the advent of Social Security Administration a great benefit to dependent women, plus the free land grant programs of the federal government that gave the men the opportunity to own their own land elsewhere. -There are three Shakers still living at a commune at Maine.

The Shakers are quite the fun study, yet there is a very serious point that I find of use-  that is God wills for us to worship Him,  with hands to work and hearts to God.  We can do so  regardless of our circumstance. In fact we can flourish* in the most unusual of circumstances. 

*Grow in the faith Of our Lord Jesus

Edited by Neighbor
typo
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