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Gift of Singleness


Guest Myrtle&Palm

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On 11/12/2016 at 0:39 PM, emdie said:

Hi Myrtle&Palm,

I'm 39 and still single. I also have disabilities, and although it doesn't hinder my mind I think the first thing men see with me is an amputee in a wheelchair, and it's only when they get to know me that the image fades a bit into the background. I was engaged until February of this year, but I realised I was doing something I had promised myself never to do - I was settling out of loneliness, so I broke it off.

You can't affect how other people think, so the only person you can work on is yourself, and that is through prayer. I think by now your self-esteem has taken a hit, but I think the most important thing for you is to love yourself, as God loves you. That film with Tom Cruise 'Jerry Maguire', where he says 'you complete me' to Renee Zellwegger is just such complete rubbish because you should be complete in yourself, otherwise you're put in the position of being reliant on someone else to make your life worthwhile. We as disabled people are reliant on other people enough to feel like burdens as it is! So I'm going to let you in on a secret....

You are a precious, worthwhile, loved, special and unique human being. There is no-one on this planet exactly like you, or ever has been in the history of mankind. You have a lot to offer any man, so if they're not looking that's their problem and nothing to do with you. Practically everyone alive has self issues, so even if people were available to be in a relationship with you, they might end up being too much of a burden on you. 

I can't promise that you will ever be married, I don't even know for myself. But you can't spend your life waiting for a guy to sweep you off your feet and take you away from everything, because life doesn't work that way and you'll end up disappointed. Love yourself as God loves you, and pray not to care if you ever get married. Surprisingly, it's often when that happens you end up meeting someone, right out of the blue. So stop looking so hard Myrtle m'dear, and take some time out to look after yourself.

God bless you and keep, I really do understand how you feel, and have sympathy. I pray you find peace in God and His dear Son Jesus.

Love,

Emily

That's very encouraging honestly ---it encourages me that my decision is correct. That is to give up all hopes of getting married ever. It is true that we just need to accept what life presents us and that is, in my/our case singleness. 

After all, it is not God's responsibility to give us a mate. I mean it's  not part of the blessing of being a Christian. 

It is true that when you believe God willbring you a life partner you will just end up disappointed. Better not ask and expect. That's what I learned---not ask God and expect. 

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On 11/14/2016 at 3:08 PM, Saved by grace said:

Hello friend! I just want to say that I can understand where you are coming from, as I too have health conditions that cause me to isolate myself from others. But when you say you are growing lonelier every year, I believe that is where the issue lies. See, people are always going to let you down, and we try to set higher standards for people who we seem to care more about, and when that person let's us down, we fall into a state of "depression", or just unhappiness, because the person you put your trust in has let you down. But in reality, why do we expect perfection out of an imperfect human being? There is only one man that we can trust in to never let us down, and that is Jesus Christ. A relationship is a wonderful thing, absolutely! But why don't we value our relationship with Christ as much as our relationships with imperfect, sinful human beings? It's because we want to please ourselves, and our own desires. Love cannot be found through another human being unless you truly know what love is my friend, and god is true love. So in order to live in love, you must live in god first, and he will give these things to you when the time is right! God bless you friend, and seek first the kingdom of god! :)

I'm wondering. If I feel lonely and wanting human relationship, does that make me a sinner? Adam in the gaden of Eden was in whole relationship with God and was with Him. Yet, he was lonely. Adam's relationship with God was not like us today. It was whole then, but he still felt lonely. He still felt lacking. 

Why today are we implicating that being lonely as a Christian is wrong? It is honestly one thing that makes me sadder in my faith because even fellow Christians cannot accept and understand the loneliness I am going through. 

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