Emotional Abuse

[JNS072011]

I am new to this page. I need prayers. I am the mother of two special needs boys and a husband who's struggles with addiction to many different things. He has over the years become emotionally abusive and has moments of rage where he will swear a lot and have tantrums over anything.We have been married for 6 years this December 18th, but I almost left him in 2015 because of this. We both had counseling where I realized where I was going wrong.

The Lord revealed to me that I had grown up with an emotionally abusive mother and an emotionally distant father who worked a lot. My parents divorced when i was 7, gave me no counseling and left me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I felt like I could never reveal my heart or feelings to them because my dad didn't care and my mom would top what I say with something "much worse" going on in her life. So in 2015 when I had this epiphany from the Lord I was in denial and didn't know what to do. I felt crazy, like only the Lord loved me. And I had enough when my husband tried to hurt him self in front of me but wrapping a towel around his throat and pulling because I was talking to him about Jesus.

I left and went to my moms, thinking she would help, she did but used manipulation and through bible verses that she had twisted to get me to agree with her. It was a huge mistake and I stayed at my dads but he still didn't care so I went back to my husband who got emotional and said he was sorry. I believed he was so I stayed. I detached the umbilical cord from my mom on December 12th last year when she cornered me in the car and said I was selfish for not divorcing my husband like she wanted me to, I let her scream at me for two hours in the car and then I told her that I wouldn't tolerate her treating me like that anymore. And I got out of the car and took the 20 min walk home in the snow.

My mom called me that night and I answered thinking she would be sorry, but she called me a liar and said I should have listed to her cause shes right and I'm wrong. I told her that I needed time away from her to heal. 4 months later, I let her back in, have not told her much but have healthy boundaries that she now respects. But I can't tell her about anything I am struggling with because she will go right back to emotional abuse. My husband was fine and seeming to get better for the four months I was away from my mom. But went back to the emotional abuse when I let my mom back into my life. I don't know what to do... I am struggling with anxiety, codependency and emotional overload. My only friend, the only person I have to talk to on a deep level is Jesus. No one in my life sees me like Jesus does, which I love but it gets so lonely some times. I trust the Lord will provide in His time for this hurt and pain that I have inside. Any advice will help.

[kwikphilly]

Blessings JNSO

    Welcome to Worthy,glad you are here...Praise Jesus that He has lead you here to us & although nobody can ever LOVE you as He does,I can tell you that here,you will find Love through us,I don't even know you but hopefully I will get to know you & you will get to know me as SISTER      Glory to God!

   We may not always have all the answers but we do know that God does PLUS much more,,,,yes,certainly I will pray for you & also,encourage you,support you & LISTEN!!! 

    Beloved,all that comes to mind is this....Gods Word....

Quote

Matthew 6:33King James Version (KJV)

³³ But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

Anxiety,co-dependency & emotional overload have no legal rights to trespass on Gods Property,you are daughter God Most High of the King of kings,Lord of lords......grafted in as His Own because of Jesus Finished Work on the cross,He took your place on that cross to afford you a Position of Victory,a life more abundant besides Eternal Life with  Him.....keep your eyes on Jesus,dive into His Word,go to the Book of John & find out exactly WHO you are in Christ because of how very much He loves you......we don't need mother ,father,brother,sister or even husbands ,wives or children to complete us & be Filled with Joy,Peace & Comfort and wuith none of those we need never be without Joy,Peace & Comfort........

   I know it is not easy to understand right off the bat but you are in a situation,you have circumstances....these things do not make or brake us spiritually & when we walk in Spirit & in Truth we can handle them with the Heart & Mind of Christ.......in the flesh we are vulnerable to the things that have a stronghold(anxiety ,emotions etc,,,) The less we focus on self the more we can see Jesus & yes,Seek ye FIRST His Kingdom     Our God is not a god of circumstance & situations,He can change them,soften & convict hearts,may ways where there seems there is no way at all......you must hand all your cares over to Him & Trust Him completely,He is your Rock,your Refuge,your All in All...................Glory to God!                       With love-in Christ,Kwik

I don't know what God has for you,the direction ,the PLan,His Purpose.....He Will show you if you ask,we have to pray He Reveal these things & be prepared to follow him wherever He leads             I am praying for you dear one,Trust the Lord

[missmuffet]

On 11/29/2016 at 8:38 AM, JNS072011 said:

I am new to this page. I need prayers. I am the mother of two special needs boys and a husband who's struggles with addiction to many different things. He has over the years become emotionally abusive and has moments of rage where he will swear a lot and have tantrums over anything.We have been married for 6 years this December 18th, but I almost left him in 2015 because of this. We both had counseling where I realized where I was going wrong.

The Lord revealed to me that I had grown up with an emotionally abusive mother and an emotionally distant father who worked a lot. My parents divorced when i was 7, gave me no counseling and left me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I felt like I could never reveal my heart or feelings to them because my dad didn't care and my mom would top what I say with something "much worse" going on in her life. So in 2015 when I had this epiphany from the Lord I was in denial and didn't know what to do. I felt crazy, like only the Lord loved me. And I had enough when my husband tried to hurt him self in front of me but wrapping a towel around his throat and pulling because I was talking to him about Jesus.

I left and went to my moms, thinking she would help, she did but used manipulation and through bible verses that she had twisted to get me to agree with her. It was a huge mistake and I stayed at my dads but he still didn't care so I went back to my husband who got emotional and said he was sorry. I believed he was so I stayed. I detached the umbilical cord from my mom on December 12th last year when she cornered me in the car and said I was selfish for not divorcing my husband like she wanted me to, I let her scream at me for two hours in the car and then I told her that I wouldn't tolerate her treating me like that anymore. And I got out of the car and took the 20 min walk home in the snow.

My mom called me that night and I answered thinking she would be sorry, but she called me a liar and said I should have listed to her cause shes right and I'm wrong. I told her that I needed time away from her to heal. 4 months later, I let her back in, have not told her much but have healthy boundaries that she now respects. But I can't tell her about anything I am struggling with because she will go right back to emotional abuse. My husband was fine and seeming to get better for the four months I was away from my mom. But went back to the emotional abuse when I let my mom back into my life. I don't know what to do... I am struggling with anxiety, codependency and emotional overload. My only friend, the only person I have to talk to on a deep level is Jesus. No one in my life sees me like Jesus does, which I love but it gets so lonely some times. I trust the Lord will provide in His time for this hurt and pain that I have inside. Any advice will help.

You are a born again believer? Is your husband a Christian? It is hard to assess this whole thing because I am only getting one side of the story and that is your side. You are being abused. It is having a very negative influence on your children. Are you in therapy now? If not you should be. If you do not want to be in this abusive situation you are in you could always legally separate from your husband. Financially there are many agencies that help a woman in need such as your self. You need to give this whole situation to God in prayer.

[Guest]

Praying for you. It is apparent that you are hurting and have little support from the ones that are around you that you love. May God be there to comfort you. I speak Peace, Comfort and Joy into this situation. Don't give up on God, as He will never give up on you.

[dservant]

On 11/30/2016 at 5:38 AM, JNS072011 said:

I am new to this page. I need prayers. I am the mother of two special needs boys and a husband who's struggles with addiction to many different things. He has over the years become emotionally abusive and has moments of rage where he will swear a lot and have tantrums over anything.We have been married for 6 years this December 18th, but I almost left him in 2015 because of this. We both had counseling where I realized where I was going wrong.

The Lord revealed to me that I had grown up with an emotionally abusive mother and an emotionally distant father who worked a lot. My parents divorced when i was 7, gave me no counseling and left me to pick up the pieces of my broken heart. I felt like I could never reveal my heart or feelings to them because my dad didn't care and my mom would top what I say with something "much worse" going on in her life. So in 2015 when I had this epiphany from the Lord I was in denial and didn't know what to do. I felt crazy, like only the Lord loved me. And I had enough when my husband tried to hurt him self in front of me but wrapping a towel around his throat and pulling because I was talking to him about Jesus.

I left and went to my moms, thinking she would help, she did but used manipulation and through bible verses that she had twisted to get me to agree with her. It was a huge mistake and I stayed at my dads but he still didn't care so I went back to my husband who got emotional and said he was sorry. I believed he was so I stayed. I detached the umbilical cord from my mom on December 12th last year when she cornered me in the car and said I was selfish for not divorcing my husband like she wanted me to, I let her scream at me for two hours in the car and then I told her that I wouldn't tolerate her treating me like that anymore. And I got out of the car and took the 20 min walk home in the snow.

My mom called me that night and I answered thinking she would be sorry, but she called me a liar and said I should have listed to her cause shes right and I'm wrong. I told her that I needed time away from her to heal. 4 months later, I let her back in, have not told her much but have healthy boundaries that she now respects. But I can't tell her about anything I am struggling with because she will go right back to emotional abuse. My husband was fine and seeming to get better for the four months I was away from my mom. But went back to the emotional abuse when I let my mom back into my life. I don't know what to do... I am struggling with anxiety, codependency and emotional overload. My only friend, the only person I have to talk to on a deep level is Jesus. No one in my life sees me like Jesus does, which I love but it gets so lonely some times. I trust the Lord will provide in His time for this hurt and pain that I have inside. Any advice will help.

darling, there is hope. I can see you are intelligent, humble and brave. I have to go out soon but message me if you want to, for there is a jezebel spirit that will continual till dealt with. He will provide for you.

[kwikphilly]

Quote

Praying for you. It is apparent that you are hurting and have little support from the ones that are around you that you love. May God be there to comfort you. I speak Peace, Comfort and Joy into this situation. Don't give up on God, as He will never give up on you.                          JesusGivesLifeMeaning

Yes,in Jesus Name-Peace,Joy ,Comfort ,Direction & Wisdom                                    With love-in Christ,Kwik

[shel]

Just found this thread. Hope you are doing OK JNS

[Mea kakau]

On 11/29/2016 at 8:38 AM, JNS072011 said:

I am new to this page. I need prayers. I am the mother of two special needs boys and a husband who's struggles with addiction to many different things. He has over the years become emotionally abusive and has moments of rage where he will swear a lot and have tantrums over anything.We have been married for 6 years this December 18th, but I almost left him in 2015 because of this. We both had counseling where I realized where I was going wrong.

The Lord revealed to me that I had grown up with an emotionally abusive mother and an emotionally distant father who worked a lot. ....

.... I don't know what to do... I am struggling with anxiety, codependency and emotional overload. My only friend, the only person I have to talk to on a deep level is Jesus. No one in my life sees me like Jesus does, which I love but it gets so lonely some times. I trust the Lord will provide in His time for this hurt and pain that I have inside. Any advice will help.

Wow JNS! That's my story too. I had an emotionally and physically abusive mother, an emotionally distant stepdad, and a horribly abusive father.

I've suffered from the anxiety and codependency as well. And Jesus became my only friend. I saw a Christian counselor who suggested something which became life changing: Confront the abuser and their behavior. The only downfall of this new task was it had to be done every single time and the person could never get away with abuse. That part I wasn't certain I could follow through with though because it required constant diligence on my part. And at the time, I was remembering the horrible abuse suffered by my father. However after several months of confronting my husband's behavior, it became second nature to me.

Countless times I thought I'd end our marriage. I even left him two different times. Through the confronting of his behavior, we managed to stay together for 31 years and counting.

During this time I confronted my husband I also learned his love language. I know that was a major part of my success with confronting my husband. I had to learn how to confront him so that he'd understand my pain when he was abusive to me. For me that meant saying to him something that would be an example for him of how he might feel if someone said something abusive to him. Sounds complicated yet it worked. So he needed to hear what that abuse would sound/feel like to him. When he realized how he was hurting me, something I don't think he comprehended before I started to confront him, he started to change.

The most wonderful part of this was it led to some very deep conversations with my husband about his childhood and mine. And that led to some more joyful times with him. We became closer as a result. We both come from abusive childhoods filled with emotional and physical neglect.

I "divorced" myself from my family of origin because they were too abusive. That helped me in my own healing.

Note: The counselor suggested the confronting because my husband was never physically abusive or violent with me and therefore he wouldn't be unpredictable.

Both my husband and I are Christians.

Edited January 18, 2017 by Mea kakau

[DayByDay]

Wow, that's a lot to deal with. It sounds like everyone around you is possessed. I really mean that. 5 day water fast for everyone. Unfortunately possessed people will almost never do a fast. You should do one. Demons get REAL nervous around anyone fasting. There is a chance they will just pack up and leave. After you are a couple days into your fast suggest your husband and children and mom join you. They won't, but the more you suggest the more nervous the demons will get. Mention you are thinking about having a Tibetan Buddhist lama come and cleanse the place. I know this is a christian forum but I have to tell you. Those guys know a lot about exorcism and demons get nervous when you mention it. Don't actually call them though. Some of them are worse than the demons. No joke.

[SOLOMONS PORCH]

JNS.......may i suggest a website that has been very healing for me and NOW my husband. I posted a previous called MY HUSBAND WILL NOT TALK WITH ME.  Look up this website I found it very helpful in many many ways, Above and Beyond Christian Counseling, they have alot of teachings etc on youtube. May you b blessed and prosper!!