Why God hates divorce - an alternate look

[nebula]

"Jesus said what he said about divorce to protect women, not to imprison them. Divorce was a weapon foisted against women in the first century, not one they could use, and it almost always left them destitute if their family of origin couldn’t or wouldn’t step up.

"How does it honor the concept of “Christian marriage” to enforce the continuance of an abusive, destructive relationship that is slowly squeezing all life and joy out of a woman’s soul? Our focus has to be on urging men to love their wives like Christ loves the church, not on telling women to put up with husbands mistreating their wives like Satan mistreats us. We should confront and stop the work of Satan, not enable it."

http://www.garythomas.com/enough-enough/

 

*Note: Yes, the same could be said for abusive wives, but more often than not it is the wives who suffer.

[Ezra]

1 minute ago, nebula said:

Our focus has to be on urging men to love their wives like Christ loves the church, not on telling women to put up with husbands mistreating their wives like Satan mistreats us

I don't think anyone in their right mind is telling women to put up with mistreatment. There are two sides to this coin -- husbands loving wives as Christ loves the Church, and wives submitting to husbands as unto the Lord.

What is needed is someone taking responsibility at the top in each church, and sitting down with couples on a regular basis within their own churches to determine if all is well.

[missmuffet]

God wants us to be at peace not to be abused and used as a door mat. The Bible speaks of two accepted reasons for divorce. Infidelity Matthew 5:32 and the abandonment by an unbeliever 1 Corinthians 7:15. But there is also other avenues to take in case of abuse and that is a legal separation. It is wise for the couple to get Christian counseling. If the spouse will not go or continues the abuse after counseling then they have an open road to file for a legal Separation. Filing for a legal separation gives the person legal rights and it is the safest alternative. If the husband or wife does not want to be the marriage partner that God intended and want to continue to break the vows that were said before God when they married then divorce is the only way to go. God understands that. But the Bible does have something to say about remarrying after a divorce.

Question: "I am divorced. Can I remarry according to the Bible?"

Answer: We often receive questions like “I am divorced for such and such a reason. Can I get remarried?” “I have been divorced twice—the first for adultery by my spouse, the second for incompatibility. I am dating a man who has been divorced three times—the first for incompatibility, the second for adultery on his part, the third for adultery on his wife’s part. Can we get married to each other?” Questions like these are very difficult to answer because the Bible does not go into great detail regarding the various scenarios for remarriage after a divorce.

What we can know for sure is that it is God’s plan for a married couple to stay married as long as both spouses are alive (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6). The only specific allowance for remarriage after a divorce is for adultery (Matthew 19:9), and even this is debated among Christians. Another possibility is desertion—when an unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse (1 Corinthians 7:12–15). This passage, though, does not specifically address remarriage, only being bound to stay in a marriage. Instances of physical, sexual, or severe emotional abuse would be sufficient cause for separation, but the Bible does not speak of these sins in the context of divorce or remarriage.

We know two things for sure. God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), and God is merciful and forgiving. Every divorce is a result of sin, either on the part of one spouse or both. Does God forgive divorce? Absolutely! Divorce is no less forgivable than any other sin. Forgiveness of all sins is available through faith in Jesus Christ (Matthew 26:28; Ephesians 1:7). If God forgives the sin of divorce, does that mean you are free to remarry? Not necessarily. God sometimes calls people to remain single (1 Corinthians 7:7-8). Being single should not be viewed as a curse or punishment, but as an opportunity to serve God wholeheartedly (1 Corinthians 7:32-36). God’s Word does tell us, though, that it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Corinthians 7:9). Perhaps this sometimes applies to remarriage after a divorce.

So, can you or should you get remarried? We cannot answer that question. Ultimately, that is between you, your potential spouse, and, most importantly, God. The only advice we can give is for you to pray to God for wisdom regarding what He would have you do (James 1:5). Pray with an open mind and genuinely ask the Lord to place His desires on your heart (Psalm 37:4). Seek the Lord’s will (Proverbs 3:5-6) and follow His leading.

https://gotquestions.org/divorced-remarry.html

[Guest bonnieschamberger]

 a very sad thing....my ex didnt physically abuse me but he had an affair for years ...my family told me to figure out a way to deal with it because those things happen and I needed to find a coping mechanism(pills etc) because he has a house and money....and of course they didnt want me to be their problem...I ended up homeless for a bit after that .......years later now divorced and managed to find shelter they want to act as though nothing ever happened and ask me to come visit for christmas etc........yeah ok

[StanJ]

God doesn't hate anything including divorce. Hate is a human emotion and as God is impassible he doesn't have those type of emotions. 

Matthew 19:7-9 NET

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?” Jesus said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hard hearts, but from the beginning it was not this way. Now I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

The following is about the best book I've ever read on the subject;

https://www.amazon.ca/Marriage-Covenant-Biblical-Divorce-Remarriage/dp/1930987080

 

[missmuffet]

1 hour ago, StanJ said:

God doesn't hate anything including divorce. Hate is a human emotion and as God is impassible he doesn't have those type of emotions. 

Matthew 19:7-9 NET

They said to him, “Why then did Moses command us to give a certificate of dismissal and to divorce her?” Jesus said to them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of your hard hearts, but from the beginning it was not this way. Now I say to you that whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another commits adultery.”

The following is about the best book I've ever read on the subject;

https://www.amazon.ca/Marriage-Covenant-Biblical-Divorce-Remarriage/dp/1930987080

 

That is not what the Bible tells us.

Question: "Does God hate? If God is love, how can He hate?"

Answer: It might seem a contradiction that a God who is love can also hate. Yet that’s exactly what Bible says is true: God is love (1 John 4:8), and God hates (Hosea 9:15). God’s nature is love—He always does what is best for others—and He hates what is contrary to His nature—He hates what is contrary to love.

No one should be surprised to learn that God does hate some things. He created us with the capacity to both love and hate, and we acknowledge that hatred is sometimes justified—we naturally hate things that destroy what we love. This is part of our being created in the image of God. The fact that we are all tainted with sin means that our love and hatred are sometimes misplaced, but the existence of the sin nature does not negate our God-given ability to love and hate. It is no contradiction for a human being to be able to love and hate, and neither is it a contradiction for God to be able to love and hate.

When the Bible does speak of God’s hatred, the object of His hatred is sin and wickedness. Among the things God hates are idolatry (Deuteronomy 12:31; 16:22), child sacrifice, sexual perversion (Leviticus 20:1–23), and those who do evil (Psalm 5:4–6; 11:5). Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things the Lord hates: pride, lying, murder, evil plots, those who love evil, false witnesses, and troublemakers. Notice that this passage does not include just things that God hates; it includes people as well. The reason is simple: sin cannot be separated from the sinner except by the forgiveness available in Christ alone. God hates lying, yes, but lying always involves a person—a liar—who chooses to lie. God cannot judge the lie without also judging the liar.

The Bible clearly teaches that God loves the people of the world (John 3:16). God spared wicked Nineveh, bringing them to repentance (Jonah 3). God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 18:32). He is patient to an extreme, “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). This is all proof of love—God wants what is best for His creation. At the same time, Psalm 5:5 says about God, “You hate all evildoers” (ESV). Psalm 11:5 is even harsher: “The wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”

Before a person repents and believes in the Lord Jesus Christ, he is the enemy of God (Colossians 1:21). Yet, even before he is saved, he is loved by God (Romans 5:8)—i.e., God sacrificed His only begotten Son on his behalf. The question then becomes, what happens to someone who spurns God’s love, refuses to repent, and stubbornly clings to his sin? Answer: God will judge him, because God must judge sin, and that means judging the sinner. These are the “wicked” whom God hates—those who persist in their sin and rebellion, even in the face of the grace and mercy of God in Christ.

David writes, “You are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you” (Psalm 5:4, ESV, emphasis added). By contrast, those who take refuge in God will “be glad” and “ever sing for joy” (verse 11). In fact, both Psalm 5 and Psalm 11 draw a stark contrast between the righteous (those who take refuge in God) and the wicked (those who rebel against God). The righteous and the wicked make different choices and have different destinies—one will see the ultimate expression of God’s love, and the other will know the ultimate expression of God’s hatred.

We cannot love with a perfect love, nor can we hate with a perfect hatred. But God can both love and hate perfectly, because He is God. God can hate without sinful intent. He can hate the sinner in a perfectly holy way and still lovingly forgive the sinner at the moment of repentance and faith (Malachi 1:3; Revelation 2:6; 2 Peter 3:9).

In His love for all, God has sent His Son to be the Savior. The wicked, who are still unforgiven, God hates “for their many sins, for they have rebelled” (Psalm 5:10). But—and this is important to understand—God desires that the wicked repent of their sin and find refuge in Christ. At the moment of saving faith, the wicked sinner is removed from the kingdom of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of love (see Colossians 1:13). All enmity is dissolved, all sin is removed, and all things are made new (see 2 Corinthians 5:17).

https://gotquestions.org/does-God-hate.html

[nebula]

8 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said:

 a very sad thing....my ex didnt physically abuse me but he had an affair for years ...my family told me to figure out a way to deal with it because those things happen and I needed to find a coping mechanism(pills etc) because he has a house and money....and of course they didnt want me to be their problem...I ended up homeless for a bit after that .......years later now divorced and managed to find shelter they want to act as though nothing ever happened and ask me to come visit for christmas etc........yeah ok

 

[Guest shiloh357]

Jesus was addressing, in part, rabbinic excess in that the Rabbis at the time were guilty of frivolous divorces.  They could divorce their wives if they saw a younger woman they liked.  They would divorce their wives for the most ridiculous reasons just so they could marry someone else.   Jesus was protecting women because divorce left a woman with few options.  If she had no male family members to provide for her, she was left to either be a beggar or a prostitute.

God made concessions for divorce going back to Moses, but those concessions were pretty specific.   Any divorce outside those concessions was considered an invalid divorce.  From God's perspective, an invalid divorce didn't negate the marriage union.   So to marry someone else under those conditions was adultery.

When it comes to abuse, does divorce under those conditions constitute an invalid divorce?  No, it does not.  Again, Jesus was addressing this issue in the light of frivolous divorces.   He was not making a blanket statement saying that the ONLY allowable reason to divorce pertains to sexual immorality. 

There are moral issues not addressed in Scripture such as, spousal abuse, child abuse, child molestation, to name a few.   The Bible provides us enough light on the issues that it does address, that we are able to address issues that it doesn't mention.  It's called a behavioral paradigm.  It is foregone conclusion that God hates those things.  I don't have to mount an argument to defend that conclusion.   We know enough about God and His character to know that He does not expect anyone to remain in an abusive relationship.  No case can be made that a wife is expected to remain with a man that is abusing her and/or their children. 

 

[StanJ]

15 hours ago, Davida said:

Seems The Bible does not agree with your opinion. Here are a few other things the Bible says God hates.

The operative word here would be seems and that is because of the English translation you're quoting.  I suggest you study the Hebrew and find out exactly what the word conveys.  

http://www.biblicalhebrew.com/nt/lovehate.htm

If 1 John 4:8 is true then God cannot hate because love cannot hate. 

 

[StanJ]

15 hours ago, missmuffet said:

That is not what the Bible tells us.

Question: "Does God hate? If God is love, how can He hate?"

Answer: It might seem a contradiction that a God who is love can also hate. Yet that’s exactly what Bible says is true: God is love (1 John 4:8), and God hates (Hosea 9:15). God’s nature is love—He always does what is best for others—and He hates what is contrary to His nature—He hates what is contrary to love.

No one should be surprised to learn that God does hate some things. He created us with the capacity to both love and hate, and we acknowledge that hatred is sometimes justified—we naturally hate things that destroy what we love. This is part of our being created in the image of God. The fact that we are all tainted with sin means that our love and hatred are sometimes misplaced, but the existence of the sin nature does not negate our God-given ability to love and hate. It is no contradiction for a human being to be able to love and hate, and neither is it a contradiction for God to be able to love and hate.

When the Bible does speak of God’s hatred, the object of His hatred is sin and wickedness. Among the things God hates are idolatry (Deuteronomy 12:31; 16:22), child sacrifice, sexual perversion (Leviticus 20:1–23), and those who do evil (Psalm 5:4–6; 11:5). Proverbs 6:16–19 lists seven things the Lord hates: pride, lying, murder, evil plots, those who love evil, false witnesses, and troublemakers. Notice that this passage does not include just things that God hates; it includes people as well. The reason is simple: sin cannot be separated from the sinner except by the forgiveness available in Christ alone. God hates lying, yes, but lying always involves a person—a liar—who chooses to lie. God cannot judge the lie without also judging the liar.

The Bible clearly teaches that God loves the people of the world (John 3:16). God spared wicked Nineveh, bringing them to repentance (Jonah 3). God takes no pleasure in the death of the wicked (Ezekiel 18:32). He is patient to an extreme, “not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance” (2 Peter 3:9). This is all proof of love—God wants what is best for His creation. At the same time, Psalm 5:5 says about God, “You hate all evildoers” (ESV). Psalm 11:5 is even harsher: “The wicked, those who love violence, he hates with a passion.”

Before a person repents and believes in the Lord Jesus Christ, he is the enemy of God (Colossians 1:21). Yet, even before he is saved, he is loved by God (Romans 5:8)—i.e., God sacrificed His only begotten Son on his behalf. The question then becomes, what happens to someone who spurns God’s love, refuses to repent, and stubbornly clings to his sin? Answer: God will judge him, because God must judge sin, and that means judging the sinner. These are the “wicked” whom God hates—those who persist in their sin and rebellion, even in the face of the grace and mercy of God in Christ.

David writes, “You are not a God who delights in wickedness; evil may not dwell with you” (Psalm 5:4, ESV, emphasis added). By contrast, those who take refuge in God will “be glad” and “ever sing for joy” (verse 11). In fact, both Psalm 5 and Psalm 11 draw a stark contrast between the righteous (those who take refuge in God) and the wicked (those who rebel against God). The righteous and the wicked make different choices and have different destinies—one will see the ultimate expression of God’s love, and the other will know the ultimate expression of God’s hatred.

We cannot love with a perfect love, nor can we hate with a perfect hatred. But God can both love and hate perfectly, because He is God. God can hate without sinful intent. He can hate the sinner in a perfectly holy way and still lovingly forgive the sinner at the moment of repentance and faith (Malachi 1:3; Revelation 2:6; 2 Peter 3:9).

In His love for all, God has sent His Son to be the Savior. The wicked, who are still unforgiven, God hates “for their many sins, for they have rebelled” (Psalm 5:10). But—and this is important to understand—God desires that the wicked repent of their sin and find refuge in Christ. At the moment of saving faith, the wicked sinner is removed from the kingdom of darkness and transferred to the kingdom of love (see Colossians 1:13). All enmity is dissolved, all sin is removed, and all things are made new (see 2 Corinthians 5:17).

https://gotquestions.org/does-God-hate.html

First of all God commands us to love not to hate and I wouldn't go as far as to say that he created us with the capacity to both love and hate. Our fallen nature is the reason why we hate and was evidenced in the very beginning between Cain and Abel. 

Secondly I would find a better reference site than gotquestions.org if I were you.  It is a notoriously biased RT site.  God commands us not to hate then obviously he is not going to contradict himself by hating. 

Please see my last response on this thread to Davida.

 

Edited December 1, 2016 by StanJ