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I need to be broken out of the cycle (PUT YOUR ARMOR ON BEFORE READING PLEASE)


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IN 4 months i went from being a complete christian to a terrified man desperate for peace. My mind, my body, my well being and i'm even afraid to say soul and spirit because i'm afraid to even admit that has even been touched out of being ashamed that it has been put into jeopardy by my own sinful behavior that i need help. The devil has been trying to take credit for all of God's good work that he has ever done in me and repeat it so he can receive credit for it and i need help. I'm trying to God and be with Him and the more i struggle the more pain I feel. I know GOD, I know JESUS, I know the LORD, and We have had an amazing relationship not more or less than anyone else. But i need help. I've been convinced that i was going to be used by the devil or God and that at this moment no matter what i do the devil is using me. I confess in my ignorance and selfishness i have struggled with forgiveness and blaspheming to thee point where it has destroyed my life physically and mentally. Yet i try to be free of it and it get's worse and worse. So i ask is it too late for me. I just admitted to my sins last night and tried to beg for forgiveness but all i saw was a black figure over me blocking my prayer. I even tried to reach past it but feeling like it wouldn't work. I feel everything I've been doing from church service to  prayer has been rerouted to the devil in my mind and i want it to stop. I need Jesus and i want release from this but i don't even know how to start. I have therapy and a loving family and supportive church but i feel like I've been corrupting or bringing down those people because every time i feel a breakthrough i get skeptical and doubtful all the way to the point where i even make a big deal out of emotions. I feel like i'm being convinced to be satanic. I try to turn away from it but i seem to get the most resistance there. I want to turn to God but i feel like His Word is saying it's too late. I don't want it to be true. Is it too late for me to turn back. So far only fear anger and stress and anxiety have been what get's me to move. And my delay seems to be my down fall even trying to post this i had like  5 interruptions and my thoughts fear 6's and upside down crosses and every time i release my pain i have doubts about where my pain is going and who is using me. Something good will happen, i'll feel relief and then i'll get bombarded all over again. PRAYER ADVICE FREEDOM PUT YOUR ARMOR ON PLEASE. HELP ME.

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Blessings Luxus

   Welcome to Worthy...I'm glad you are here & I certainly will be praying for you and though I can give you advice you have to first be willing to hear & to Receive and I am not sure that you are because you began by saying you have had this amazing Relationship ,you KNOW God,you know JESUS....I'm sorry but I do believe you may know ABOUT God,ABOUT Jesus but I have to question the Relationship part and that is what Christianity is all about,it is the very beginning of the walk .....I wouldn't put the cart before the horse,I would say "Start from the beginning"

   First thing you must know is"NO,it is not too late,it is never too late"   You don't have to BEG Jesus forgiveness,you just have to have a  repentant heart & be earnest.....His Forgiveness is with Grace ,Mercy & Compassion because He Loves you,He cannot take the burden of sin if you are unwilling to let it go.....you see,I hope you can understand but this is a spirit of ""pride" you struggle with,whether it is "self" loathing or love of "self" it is all the same,,,it is self centered,flesh,carnal mindedness    WE have to be willing to let all of that go so that as we come to KNOW Jesus HE can begin a Renewing of the MInd   When the enemy has a strong hold on the mind then all you do is focus on those thoughts'I'm unforgivable""I'm afraid" "I'm angry" I'm doubtful "I'm anxious",,,yes,all emotions,you are right & that is carnality   Both the heart & the mind is flesh & blood ,unreliable,undependable     When we Receive JESUS we hang those on the cross to access His Heart & His Mind,,,,,,what is the hindrance?Self is in the way

  Its not so simple once you are so convinced that you are unforgivable & the enemies pawn ,a powerless puppet.......So you stop racing ahead of yourself & go back to the very start,the Foot of the cross.....You say I do this at church & I go to therapy & I try,I try<i try......STOP,go back to the foot of the cross......everything YOU attempt to DO by your own EFFORT is not going to get you anywhere,it has all been done FOR YOU,by Jesus    How much time do you spend with Jesus,talking to Him,reading the Word,what are you taking in with your eyes,your ears,your heart?  Faith comes by Hearing & Hearing the Word of God,,,,,,

   Okay,here is my advice,go back to the Book of John,read it as though God Wrote it to you alone as a personal love letter between Him & YOU.....You say you want to be with Him,then seek Him there & Receive His Love...if you open your heart to that LOVE then you will also Receive His Blessed Assurance to know,without doubt,you ARE forgiven....you just cannot run before you walk,you can't walk before you crawl,,,,,,,Start new,Start at the foot of the cross....RECEIVE,He Loves you

                                                                                                              With love-in Christ,Kwik

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JAMES 5

13 Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms.

14 Is any sick among you? let him call for the elders of the church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord:

15 And the prayer of faith shall save the sick, and the Lord shall raise him up; and if he have committed sins, they shall be forgiven him.

16 Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.

17 Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain: and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.

18 And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit.

19 Brethren, if any of you do err from the truth, and one convert him;

20 Let him know, that he which converteth the sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death, and shall hide a multitude of sins.

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Luxus

What do you mean when you say  "I know GOD, I know JESUS, I know the LORD"?

What are your thoughts about the Holy Spirit?

 

Mike2

Edited by Mike 2
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I have some questions when you return.

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Welcome~!

~

Praying~!

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My precious brother, I hope my answer will assist in providing you some form of peace. Having read your post several times, I have noticed that you have not mentioned God's Word very much. My first counsel to you is to begin to read the Bible in large quantities when you see that "dark figure". Hebrews 4:12 says God's Word is quick and powerful (some translations say living and powerful). This is important for you because the Enemy (the devil and his minions) HATES the Bible. In fact, remember Jesus was tempted by Satan directly and Jesus kept quoting the Word back to that old rascal, the devil.

You are under demonic oppression and are quite right not to even trust your own mind. However, the Word of God, since it is living and powerful, is your best defense against such oppression that you are experiencing. It is NOT and easy or quick battle, but the more the Word of God occupies your mind, the less the enemy will...the two cannot co-exist. Start by reading the Gospels over and over at least 4 times. They contain words about Jesus, who has already done the work for your deliverance. The devil cannot argue against Jesus' work on the cross because it is history, not fable. You are actually winning because you recognize that the devil is lying to you...so take heart, the battle has just begun, but you need to fight until your faith catches up and you realize the Jesus has already won!!!!

I do not condemn or criticize you because what you are going through is a real battle. Remember, in John 10, Jesus said the devil only comes to steal, to kill and to destroy. He is in the process of trying to steal your salvation, kill your faith and destroy your soul. Fortunately, the Bible says that if we will resist the devil, he will flee from us. Right now, however, you have been battered and discouraged to an extreme point. What you need is people who will pray for you and love you unconditionally, even if they do not understand what you are going through. So do NOT quit going to church. You have a lot of power, but you do NOT have the power to steal their salvation. You need to identify one prayer partner who will intercede for you and do spiritual warfare over you until you can actually sense the presence of God.

The truth is, that Jesus never leaves or forsakes you...so He has been witnessing this trial. the good news is...that because you posted here, He has sent me to answer your prayers and pray for you until you get better. He is also working behind the scenes in your church because there are already people who are praying for you.

So, simply put, your first defense is to read the Bible every time you feel oppressed. Just read. If you find something that you question write it down and ask God to explain it. His Holy Spirit will either give you guidance or God will send someone to you to answer the question. All of this 'dark figure's' threats are just that.....mindless, ineffective threats. Hold on to the Bible and begin to rebuild your faith around the Word of God.

I truly hope this helps. Let me know if you need more.

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The truth is, that Jesus never leaves or forsakes you...so He has been witnessing this trial. the good news is...that because you posted here, He has sent me to answer your prayers and pray for you until you get better. He is also working behind the scenes in your church because there are already people who are praying for you.

So, simply put, your first defense is to read the Bible every time you feel oppressed. Just read. If you find something that you question write it down and ask God to explain it. His Holy Spirit will either give you guidance or God will send someone to you to answer the question. All of this 'dark figure's' threats are just that.....mindless, ineffective threats. Hold on to the Bible and begin to rebuild your faith around the Word of God

:amen:Indeed,God has lead you here top US,His Children,to speak through us to YOU!!! Why? Just because He Loves YOU......we are here in like mind & judgement,praying for you & here for you........

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King James Bible
Be strong and of a good courage, fear not, nor be afraid of them: for the LORD thy God, he it is that doth go with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
Duet 31:6

 

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Hey man I just want to say that I think Jesus hears every prayer that we say in his name. So I dont think anything is blocking that, I think the dark entity is trying to deceive you that he is blocking it so you don't believe. But Jesus is hearing :)

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I moved this thread from the Outer Court to the Inner Court so you can receive advice from your brothers and sisters only.

Praying!

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