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Now I Feel Bad About The Whole Thing


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1 hour ago, Redemption79 said:

the scripture also tells us to honor our parents, hence I don't know if they should let their mother in law spend Christmas all by herself

i personally think for future reference, a happy medium could be reached by inviting her mother in law for Christmas lunch, and reserve the dinner for themselves or something like.

That might possibly work, depending on many variables.

We are also told to "leave" our mother and father for our spouse.
Sometimes parents don't like to "let go of their apron strings," even after they have been politely asked to do so. This can reek spiritual havoc on a family if those strings are not "cut."

Mar 10:7-8
(7)  For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
(8)  And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh.

We can "honor" them in the capacity that God means. But we don't have to "dishonor" God in the process. He takes precedence over them.
The word "hate" here in it's tense means to "love less." I love God first and foremost. My wife, family, extended family and my own life that I symbolically see on the cross is in second place:
Luk 14:26-27
(26)  If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.
(27)  And whosoever doth not bear his cross, and come after me, cannot be my disciple.

In past years, I've skipped out on some of "mom's" Christmas dinners with other family and relatives despite her badgering for us to come.
What I missed out on was a place filled with drunkenness, smoking pot, brawling, naked "R" rated movies, cussing of our God and the like.
I did not "dishonor" her by not going, even though she felt otherwise and told us so.

We did make exceptions to be with her at other times, but she would always look for ways to circumvent our walk with Christ if she could. And I'm being nice here!
I did keep here in prayer however, and lovingly gave her the Gospel right up to the end of her very very selfish life.

I realize LadyKay's may not be that bad, others here may relate.

I would add, in place of the above, we had some very peaceable Christmas dinners at home, sometimes inviting a few of the less fortunate.
At our dinners, we would pray for the Salvation of these same lost family members.

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45 minutes ago, LadyKay said:

Okay well we are going. Despite everything. If we don't go she will be mad because she bought all the food and we didn't show up. I just think it is a little rude talking about how much money and all of that after you invite someone over for dinner. She is just a difficult person to get along with.  Still one more day till Christmas. I will have to think how best to live in peace with this very difficult person. 

 

Hope it works out LadyKay.
Perhaps you and your spouse could ask prayerfully ask God for His peace to be there in spite of everything.

This was our prayer on those times out with mom and continues to be with other difficult family members.

They may not have always been peaceful, but we were! :)
John 14:27  Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.

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Guest shiloh357
5 hours ago, LadyKay said:

No medication is not the excuse.  She just wants to complain about stuff. She is never happy. 

How old is she?

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8 hours ago, Redemption79 said:

that is why i do not agree with your application of  Pro 17:1  Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife. 

I will need some prayer about this. Because it is really hard to keep my mouth shut when things come up.:o Do any of you remember the show "All In The Family" ? I can best describe my mother in law as being Archie Bunkier. Thinking about it that way helps a little and I have decided to not allow her to make me feel bad.  It's not all bad. At less until we start talking to each other LOL ! :P

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I would pray that the Lord would go before you and prepare her mind and soften her spirit and to bring peace to the house and meeting. If you are financially able you can offer to pay her what you guess the meal costs so she won't be so worried next time. I didn't see it asked so forgive me if it was but is she a believer?

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Quote

Well she already invited us to her place and I am not really prepared for Christmas dinner here. I think she just is only happy when she is trying to be unhappy, if you know what I mean. 

Blessings Lady

    LOL,yes I do know what you mean & from the many discussions about her in the past,we do know this is her typical behavior.....I'm glad you arev going,its the right thing to do & here is yet another time you will inevitably have to grin & bear it...I surely will be praying for you(& her) & all of you to have a really BEAUTIFUL & Blessed Merry Christmas TOGETHER...

    I don't know how your situation is but if you could it would be great to give her a card with some money in it to pay for the dinner,I'm sure there is a chance she may find something wrong with that too but it would be what I would do......Merry Christmas Lady :emot-heartbeat:                 With love-in Christ,Kwik

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14 hours ago, LadyKay said:

Okay well we are going. Despite everything. If we don't go she will be mad because she bought all the food and we didn't show up. I just think it is a little rude talking about how much money and all of that after you invite someone over for dinner. She is just a difficult person to get along with.  Still one more day till Christmas. I will have to think how best to live in peace with this very difficult person. 

Maybe next year you should make different plans.

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2 hours ago, missmuffet said:

Maybe next year you should make different plans.

I think I will.

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6 hours ago, Sing40King said:

. If you are financially able you can offer to pay her what you guess the meal costs

I understand what you are saying but I have to say I have never been asked over by a family member or anyone  to their house on Christmas and then have to pay for the meal. I'm just not use to that sort of thing. I'm going to make a pie. Maybe I can get a discount if I bring a pie. LOL 

Edited by LadyKay
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On 12/23/2016 at 0:46 PM, LadyKay said:

Anyway I just feel bad now about it. 

Well why didn't you turn down the invitation and be done with it?

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