I need your opinion and help

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

I have lost the count I found myself in the following situation:

• I go to the church.
• It is time to play some music...
• People start jumping, singing, making noise, some even shout...
• I keep standing still just observing, I do clap my hands when I find a pattern I can follow and if I am comfortable enough to do.

Then people who were there singing started to say things like:
--"Come on! Don't be shy, the shy won't inherit the Kingdom of God."
--"If you love the Lord, open your mouth, make some noise."

And other similar situations you probably can simulate in your mind by following that template...

I felt oppressed, sometimes I wonder if I am really welcomed there. Then I stopped going because I did not want to feel like that.

I never was the type of person who went extrovert that easily or alone in the crowd... When I'm alone I just prefer to stay in a place alone.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I have my extroverted moments, but that happens naturally, I do not have to make any effort at all.

I know there are many people who think I am not the kind of person they would like to be seen with... Or proudly be friend with.

I do not know why, but world people always looked at me and had something "funny" to say. Obviously, that something "funny" did not let me any happy.

But those kind of actions don't let me down anymore.

There are also activities that require lots of social abilities I feel I do not have, like talking to the stranger near your and saying a specific phrase I would never say (not that I disagree).

Not that I do not care about others, I just do not like being forced to do things. I prefer to do things I feel I want to do, otherwise I feel and see myself as being fake, a hypocrite type of person.

I believe I would feel comfortable if things were done in a more predictable manner.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you!

Edited December 31, 2016 by 4LdKHVCzRDj2

[Sing40King]

58 minutes ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

• I go to the church.
• It is time to play some music...
• People start jumping, singing, making noise, some even shout...
• I keep standing still just observing, I do clap my hands when I find a pattern I can follow and if I am comfortable enough to do.

If this makes you uncomfortable then I'd say you aren't in the right church for you. Try another and see if you like it better. Being from the hills of Kentucky our church is similar to what it was like 30 years ago. When I go to sing at other churches some are much more modern and not as comfortable. Ask thje Lord to help you find the right one.

 

1 hour ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

Then people who were there singing started to say things like:
--"Come on! Don't be shy, the shy won't inherit the Kingdom of God."
--"If you love the Lord, open your mouth, make some noise."

The first line is just plain silly. God doesn't say that the shy won't inherit the kingdom of God. This makes me believe even more you aren't where you should be but this is only my feelings.

 

1 hour ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I believe I would feel comfortable if things were done in a more predictable manner.

 

I  think that this is true of almost everybody. Worship the Lord the way you want to or feel led to. You're relatuionship with Christ is yours only. There are times I just want to be  alone with God and not following the crowd. There's nothing wrong with that. As far as lookingn for a church, many stream their services online and have archives. See if any of the churches in you are do and you can preview how they do things before going. I will keep you in my prayers.

[gdemoss]

1 hour ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I have lost the count I found myself in the following situation:

• I go to the church.
• It is time to play some music...
• People start jumping, singing, making noise, some even shout...
• I keep standing still just observing, I do clap my hands when I find a pattern I can follow and if I am comfortable enough to do.

Then people who were there singing started to say things like:
--"Come on! Don't be shy, the shy won't inherit the Kingdom of God."
--"If you love the Lord, open your mouth, make some noise."

And other similar situations you probably can simulate in your mind by following that template...

I felt oppressed, sometimes I wonder if I am really welcomed there. Then I stopped going because I did not want to feel like that.

I never was the type of person who went extrovert that easily or alone in the crowd... When I'm alone I just prefer to stay in a place alone.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I have my extroverted moments, but that happens naturally, I do not have to make any effort at all.

I know there are many people who think I am not the kind of person they would like to be seen with... Or proudly be friend with.

I do not know why, but world people always looked at me and had something "funny" to say. Obviously, that something "funny" did not let me any happy.

But those kind of actions don't let me down anymore.

There are also activities that require lots of social abilities I feel I do not have, like talking to the stranger near your and saying a specific phrase I would never say.

Not that I do not care about others, I just do not like being forced to do things. I prefer to do things I feel I want to do, otherwise I feel and see myself as being fake, a hypocrite type of person.

I believe I would feel comfortable if things were done in a more predictable manner.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you!

You were not of them so you went out from them. 

 

[Ezra]

On 12/31/2016 at 11:23 AM, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I believe I would feel comfortable if things were done in a more predictable manner.

Not all churches have the kind of worship that you have described (unpredictable, unruly, whatever).  So find a church which is more in line with what you prefer, as long as they have the true Gospel and sound doctrine.

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

5 minutes ago, Ezra said:

Not all churches have the kind of worship that you have described (unpredictable, unruly, whatever).

I would not say things there were unruly... Or maybe the problem is in myself, I could notice many people seem to feel at home there.

 

Thank you, all.

[Guest bonnieschamberger]

I am the exact same way and theres nothing wrong with being an introvert ,God loves his introverts! I had the same thing happen to me and I ended up trying and looking for another church but really I get most into worship in the middle of the night in my car after I have gotten off work ...I get in crank up and turn it on xm message christian music station.Really worship for me happens most naturally and best at night because I am a night owl by nature.We are free to be who we are in Christ. Also I wanted to tell you I have had people tell me "well God is not going to use you as an introvert"  and let me tell you God has used me many times ...there have been very dark times for people who I did not know personally but I worked with them or something along those lines ...and for some reason they felt they could come to me (and they absolutely can) in this dark time and be safe to share with me and I live for those times because I am not afraid of the dark things and people being sad and real.I want to run a divorce recovery program someday but God has made me feel that it is not time yet.

Edited January 3, 2017 by bonnieschamberger

[Unit 11]

On ‎12‎/‎31‎/‎2016 at 1:23 PM, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

I have lost the count I found myself in the following situation:

• I go to the church.
• It is time to play some music...
• People start jumping, singing, making noise, some even shout...
• I keep standing still just observing, I do clap my hands when I find a pattern I can follow and if I am comfortable enough to do.

Then people who were there singing started to say things like:
--"Come on! Don't be shy, the shy won't inherit the Kingdom of God."
--"If you love the Lord, open your mouth, make some noise."

And other similar situations you probably can simulate in your mind by following that template...

I felt oppressed, sometimes I wonder if I am really welcomed there. Then I stopped going because I did not want to feel like that.

I never was the type of person who went extrovert that easily or alone in the crowd... When I'm alone I just prefer to stay in a place alone.

Sometimes when I'm alone, I have my extroverted moments, but that happens naturally, I do not have to make any effort at all.

I know there are many people who think I am not the kind of person they would like to be seen with... Or proudly be friend with.

I do not know why, but world people always looked at me and had something "funny" to say. Obviously, that something "funny" did not let me any happy.

But those kind of actions don't let me down anymore.

There are also activities that require lots of social abilities I feel I do not have, like talking to the stranger near your and saying a specific phrase I would never say (not that I disagree).

Not that I do not care about others, I just do not like being forced to do things. I prefer to do things I feel I want to do, otherwise I feel and see myself as being fake, a hypocrite type of person.

I believe I would feel comfortable if things were done in a more predictable manner.

What are your thoughts on this?

Thank you!

I had the exact same experiences. It can be very destructive if others, or yourself, (both in my case) demand that you live it out loud, sing it out loud, tell everyone about it etc. when you're wired for solitude and quiet. If you have to keep making an effort to be a certain way, something's wrong. And the something wrong is not you. Your instincts know how you should be.

 

 

[DayByDay]

I'm the same as you. They are trying to welcome you when they encourage you to do it with them.

You don't have to. If you don't want to pick someone to sit next to all the time and SMILE and tell them you are shy and don't like to sing but thanks for inviting you to.

There is a 'thing' that happens. If you sing and dance in time with a group of people on a regular basis you develop an almost telepathic bond with them. Ask the preacher which songs you should practice at home. Memorize a couple or practice enough that you can go along with it. (if you want to)

No one told me this so for most of my life I wondered why these people were doing all the singing and dancing. I always felt church should be solemn and reverent. I still do, but I can relate now. Now you can too.

 

Also, some older people cant sit for a long time because they might get blood clots. They need to move around a little.

Also, if you are slow to get up and move, the preacher looks around you and takes note that maybe one of those people has been stealing your life force. These days its usually the preachers wife.

[SOLOMONS PORCH]

4Ld.......my husband was brought up baptist and it was a very reserved and organized service always. But he truly found the Lord this past April and something inside of him changed drastically, the clouds and sky was brighter as was the sun etc.......

When I took him to my church and he saw their freedom, he let the "freedom" inside of himself break free. I didn't rush him, push him or try to tell him how to do this or that, or what he should do, ever. But he noticed some were sitting, standing, hands in the air worshiping and as he felt free to do so, he did. But nobody should ever tell you "how" you should worship, thats just wrong. Now if its a very close friend or someone u take trust in their opinion thats different. I felt uncomfortable many times, but I can choose what i want and how i want to worship, and so can you. Go where your spirit gets fed and you feel that you can become a better person and closer to Christ. In time your worship may change as you grow in the Lord and become closer to him. Dont rush yourself, fall in love with Jesus and let HIM met you where you are.  God Bless you!!