Mea kakau

Long Story - Friendless and Ill Again

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Posted (edited)

I don't know where to start this story. It's a long one. Thanks in advance for reading this long post.

Back in 2006 I had two medical problems which doctors couldn't diagnose. I met this Christian lady through an online word game. Right from the start she prayed for me to get the correct diagnoses. Then we got separated when the word game's connection got messed up. Meanwhile, one of the medical conditions got diagnosed in the nick of time. Had I waited and listened to this one doctor, who thought I was hysterical and seeking attention from doctors (just the opposite—I avoid doctors), I would have been blind in one eye. I had prayed for the Lord to guide me in what to do and where to go. It took 10 months to get a diagnosis.

The other medical condition took much more persistence and 11 visits to EDs at two different hospitals to receive a diagnosis. At one hospital I was essentially called hysterical and menopausal. "Go home and take two aspirin and go to bed." In fact the hospital took an x-ray which proved I was not hysterical, yet they didn't know the diagnosis so they overlooked the major symptom (chest pain) and the sign (x-ray with enlarged heart). Nearly two years after the first symptom appeared in late 2005, I received a proper diagnosis.

During my suffering and eventual diagnoses and after that time, I stopped trusting doctors because of their condescending attitude toward me and my suffering. I only found three doctors, all specialists, who I can trust. Though one of them blamed me a couple of times for things which turned out to be not enough medicine to stop symptoms. I've got an ongoing medical condition for which I take daily medicine. The other specialist saved my eyesight through telephone conversations with an ED doctor. And the last one, a cardiologist, prevented lasting problems with my heart from the condition affecting it.

My friend from online and I got to know each other from 2007 onward. We started talking and praying on the phone together.

It was a healthy sounding relationship from the outside. That is until I actually met her in person and realized she had several serious mental problems which she never fully addressed with a psychiatrist. Her mental issues wouldn't be a problem if they only affected her. She told me about some fraudulent activities she engaged in on a regular basis. And then she committed the fraudulent act with me on the phone. She was speaking on her cellphone and committing a white-collar crime. I was dumbfounded and disturbed. All I could do was pray about her criminal behavior. I've never felt it was appropriate to fully confront her. I questioned her about it and that's it.

It's interesting that just this year stores are putting an end to encouraging this type of behavior; buying something and using it for a period of time and then returning it and demanding their money back. My friend used the item on a daily basis for 6 months and returned it in deplorable condition for a refund and a new free set. Apparently, she's done this for many years and the high-end department store never stopped her. It's an item one typically buys more than one set of and changes them on a weekly basis. She purposely bought only one set. Essentially she receives a free set of this item every 6 months. She pays a small return fee for it. And knowing her as I've come to know her, she most likely purchased the most expensive brand of this item.

And she's done it with other items and stores as well. She told me about some of those exchanges. After I talked to her about doing those criminal acts, she stopped having me on the phone while she committed them. Sigh. That was a huge relief. I mean when she committed them that's the only time I knew about them occurring. No warnings.

Over time her fraudulent activities took a huge toll on our relationship. Even with prayer, I could never stop thinking about her behavior. I feel that our relationship is essentially over. We hardly converse any more. I've met her only twice in person and couldn't tolerate being around her on a regular basis. I've had two therapists warn me to keep the relationship as distant and as infrequent as possible, including phone calls, due to the woman's white-collar crimes.

So here I am in the new year friendless and...ill again. I think my dog's cancer could be the final straw in our relationship. Her husband is dying of cancer. She can't handle any more stress. Our friendship last 8 and a half years.

I asked for prayer on this forum about my itchy skin, and it's finally revealed itself to be a staph infection, cellulitis. I've never had an infection on this scale before. Yikes! It's traveling all over my upper body. It started with an allergic reaction to blue and yellow food dye. I've had cellulitis twice before in my legs, both times due to allergic reactions to something (which I didn't know at the time). Although even during my last visit to the hospital for treatment, I failed to understand the underlying reason I got cellulitis. A nurse told me it's my lot in life. I refused to take that on as my truth. I vowed to uncover the real reason for these bouts of cellulitis. And now I finally have my answer—allergies. Today I'm going to the ED at a hospital I trust. I know I'll be admitted and filled with antibiotics.

In 2015 I was admitted to the same hospital with cellulitis and treated. A doctor on call asked if I had a personal physician. I said I had one. I did but...that doctor had said something really stupid to me. I'm a survivor of ritual abuse, and the doctor told me I should be over it by now. Wow, seriously? The memories came in 2010, originally some in 1988 but not much then. The doctor was questioning my long time on disability (since 1992 due to extreme PTSD). When the doctor realized what I had remembered, he stopped telling me to get over it. Though he never apologized. So now I'm doctor-less again.

I prayed for a doctor with compassion and the Lord sent me one and I declined her services. I know this is like the man on the roof in the flood story and the Lord sending him a boat. Please pray that I would ask for a doctor recommendation and that the same doctor would offer her services to me again. The last time she asked me. Duh! :huh:

 

As for friends, ugh, not certain I want to go there just yet, again. I need time to heal from this last one. I live on an island. Quite isolating. Before this I lived on a land-locked part of the US which was like living on an island. Only two places like that in the US. Island life is good for writing loads of stories yet isolating for friendships. I live in an area where there's a huge influx of temporary people. And I'm an true introvert and thrive on being alone.

 

Edited by Mea kakau
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Mea kakau,

That is quite a story you have there. A lot of damage has been done, mentally and physically. However, rest assured we serve a compassionate God in which ALL good gifts come from - including total and complete mental and physical restoration. Good for you in refusing to take that word about the cellulitis that the nurse spoke over you.

I am praying for you, that God will move in a mighty way in all of your situations. May your body be healed, completely, head to toe. NO more pain, NO more infection, NO more allergies. Body, be completely restored in the name of Jesus! Mea kakau, experience a complete healing of the mind; PTSD, GO - in Jesus' name. You are not welcome in this body. I break off this attack of the evil one, binding the strong man, be set free from any curses, any spiritual oppression, ALL of it - go to the pit and do not return.

I speak peace, comfort, and joy into Mea kakau. Be completely filled with the restorative power of the Holy Spirit.

Blessings be upon you.

 

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Hello, sister ... I can relate to so much of what you wrote here.  Ritual abuse is not something you just "get over" in a short period of time.  People speaking things like that do more damage than good, placing a burden of guilt, shame, and blame on the victim.  Thankfully, our Lord is not like that... He is kind, patient, and gentle.  And yes, He is mighty on our behalf!  I'm sorry you've experienced the heartaches you have, with loss and/or lack of true friendships.  I can understand the desire to live in isolation.... I'm a lot like that as well.  It has its strong points, but really, no one wants to be alone... sometimes, we don't have much choice, especially when most people don't understand the things you've experienced and/or continue to experience.  It's too much of a stress to have to tiptoe around "friends" who will eventually leave when they find out your past... does that happen to you?  It has happened to me more times than I can count.  I have all but given up on having real life friends.  (sorry for the rant on your post... I hope it's okay... maybe at least you know, someone understands:emot-heartbeat::emot-hug:)  I'll pray for you, sister :emot-heartbeat:

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Mea and Abby so glad the two of you could connect on here :)

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1 minute ago, shel said:

Mea and Abby so glad the two of you could connect on here :)

:emot-heartbeat:

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7 hours ago, Abby-Joy said:

Hello, sister ... I can relate to so much of what you wrote here.  Ritual abuse is not something you just "get over" in a short period of time.  People speaking things like that do more damage than good, placing a burden of guilt, shame, and blame on the victim.  Thankfully, our Lord is not like that... He is kind, patient, and gentle.  And yes, He is mighty on our behalf!  I'm sorry you've experienced the heartaches you have, with loss and/or lack of true friendships.  I can understand the desire to live in isolation.... I'm a lot like that as well.  It has its strong points, but really, no one wants to be alone... sometimes, we don't have much choice, especially when most people don't understand the things you've experienced and/or continue to experience.  It's too much of a stress to have to tiptoe around "friends" who will eventually leave when they find out your past... does that happen to you?  It has happened to me more times than I can count.  I have all but given up on having real life friends.  (sorry for the rant on your post... I hope it's okay... maybe at least you know, someone understands:emot-heartbeat::emot-hug:)  I'll pray for you, sister :emot-heartbeat:

No problem with the rant. Unfortunately, I've experienced the same problems with friends. Thank you for understanding and the hug and the prayers.

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11 hours ago, JesusGivesLifeMeaning said:

Mea kakau,

That is quite a story you have there. A lot of damage has been done, mentally and physically. However, rest assured we serve a compassionate God in which ALL good gifts come from - including total and complete mental and physical restoration. Good for you in refusing to take that word about the cellulitis that the nurse spoke over you.

I am praying for you, that God will move in a mighty way in all of your situations. May your body be healed, completely, head to toe. NO more pain, NO more infection, NO more allergies. Body, be completely restored in the name of Jesus! Mea kakau, experience a complete healing of the mind; PTSD, GO - in Jesus' name. You are not welcome in this body. I break off this attack of the evil one, binding the strong man, be set free from any curses, any spiritual oppression, ALL of it - go to the pit and do not return.

I speak peace, comfort, and joy into Mea kakau. Be completely filled with the restorative power of the Holy Spirit.

Blessings be upon you.

 

Thank you for your prayer JesusGivesLifeMeaning.

I had the least amount of itching today. Thank goodness! I'm still home.

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For the most part, the itchiness is gone and the rash has completely subsided. I followed a protocol I used before for the overgrowth of staph. That along with painting my body with iodine has helped it to heal. And of course your wonderful prayers. Thank you all for praying for my healing.

Right now on the friendship. An interesting situation has occurred several times. My friend's cell phone voice mail system has failed each time I tried to leave a message. Hm. God at work? I think so. I'm not feeling as alone as I thought I would without having her friendship. Here it is over a month since I've last spoken to her on the phone and I'm not missing it.

I've been praying more than I used to and relying on Jesus more. I've prayed about how that relationship has changed as well. When I first sought the Lord I desperately needed a father because both of my earthly fathers were horrible people. I am no longer seeking that need in the same way and so my Heavenly Father and I now have a different relationship. It's taken me going through the friendship loss and the intense itchiness to realize how things have changed. I am grateful for going through a challenge which has brought me closer to the Lord in a whole new way.

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On 1/18/2017 at 6:51 PM, Mea kakau said:

For the most part, the itchiness is gone and the rash has completely subsided. I followed a protocol I used before for the overgrowth of staph. That along with painting my body with iodine has helped it to heal. And of course your wonderful prayers. Thank you all for praying for my healing.

Right now on the friendship. An interesting situation has occurred several times. My friend's cell phone voice mail system has failed each time I tried to leave a message. Hm. God at work? I think so. I'm not feeling as alone as I thought I would without having her friendship. Here it is over a month since I've last spoken to her on the phone and I'm not missing it.

I've been praying more than I used to and relying on Jesus more. I've prayed about how that relationship has changed as well. When I first sought the Lord I desperately needed a father because both of my earthly fathers were horrible people. I am no longer seeking that need in the same way and so my Heavenly Father and I now have a different relationship. It's taken me going through the friendship loss and the intense itchiness to realize how things have changed. I am grateful for going through a challenge which has brought me closer to the Lord in a whole new way.

Mea how are you doing now?

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Thank you for asking, Shel.

All itchiness and rashes are gone. Thank God.

The friendship is dwindling away. And I'm ready for it to go now. It took awhile for me to accept the loss. I am at peace with where things are going with the relationship.

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