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Hi, I need advice about my fiance and his family.  My fiance is Egyptian and I'm Caucasian/christian/american.  He lives in Egypt but is going to marry me next year and live here with me.  I have been in relationship with him for 3 years now.  He spent the past summer here with me and we got engaged  before he went back to Egypt.  I never met any of his family except over Facebook and a few small conversations on skype.  I cannot talk to his parents because they don't speak English well so I only say hi and my fiance translates to them what I say.  His sister in law who is also American lives a bad lifestyle and has not been nice to me over Facebook.  I see she is an angry woman and curses all the time about any subject, smokes, has children with different men...  His other sister in law in Egypt says bad things about me to my fiance's mother that are not true like I'm old or fat (by the way I'm only 26 and I'm not overweight).  Recently my fiance asked me to stop sharing our pics on FB or anything about us because his family and friends gossip about us, I don't know why this is happening.  He says that they are jealous of me and don't understand why the pretty American like me would marry him.  Anyway, I deactivated my Facebook and so has my fiancee.  I created a new one later and requested only my fiance's mother because I would like a way to communicate to her and know about her life there.  I found today that she deleted my request.  This hurts because I thought she was friendly towards me and liked me.  I don't understand why she deleted my request.  My fiance and I had agreed to name the first daughter we have after her and now I am concerned about that... How can I name my future daughter after someone who doesn't accept me?  I don't know what to do now, should I ask my fiancee about it or should I just forget about it?  Also, I am concerned about marriage to him since they are gossiping about us and I sense an anger from the women in his family.  I feel like I'm not being accepted.  My fiance and I get along great, we love each other so much. I don't know what to do and need advice. Thanks for your time reading this.

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Praying~!

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Grace and Peace brother Brittany 1990, we realy would love to help you, but it is a hard topic to give some kind of advice. I think the brother FresnoJoe has wroten what you should do. Just Pray and ask for God's help, He is the only one who can give you rest and peace about anything.

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My dear, you have a lot of hurdles to overcome with becoming part of this family by marrying this man. You and his family .....

  • live on two different continents
  • speak two different languages
  • have different ethnic backgrounds [no matter how enlightened anyone is, different ethnic backgrounds can be a hurdle and must be addressed]
  • have different cultural practices and beliefs
  • are they Christians?  Is your fiance a Christian?  You didn't say.  If not, then there is the religious hurdle to jump
  • are starting the family relationship with strife, jealousies, and anger

Even if you two DO get married, should you get married before you tackle these things?

I can tell you what the mother is concerned about.  Her daughter has moved to America and look at how she turned out.  Now her son says he is moving there and marrying an American girl.  She is losing him - literally.

This won't resolve easily.  You are going to have to take some steps to meet them halfway.  Have you tried to learn to speak some Egyptian?  They know some English even though they don't speak it well.  Have you tried writing his mother a letter and having your fiance translate it for you?  If you and his mother have never spoken because of the language barrier [you said that you've only said "hi"] - you are virtual strangers.

You must pray about this very hard.  These complications will not stop just because you marry him and he moves here.  In fact, they will increase.  And he will be torn between his family and you. 

These hurdles must either be jumped or partially jumped before you marry him or all will not end well.

Start with great prayer.

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Blessings Brittany....

   Welcome to Worthy......I think the big question is,Jayne asked as well....is he a Christian?Obviously you met him online because you said you have been in a relationship with him for 3 years & this "past summer" he came to visit,right?Well I do think that after talking to someone for 2 years &  9 months that you can know alot ABOUT them but after only spending maybe 3 months visiting you have much to consider......Firstly,you really need to think about if you are a way for this man to apply for a green card.....what's the rush to get married?There are  just far too many sad stories & broken hearts because of people being used as passage to America......I say this because of where he lives,if he lived in a free country where there is peace I wouldn't think twice about it but so many people from the ME want to leave....I'm just taking everything into consideration

    My husband is from Australia,it is a wonderful place & seems to have even less problems than we do here in America & please don't take offense because my dear friends asked me to consider these things as well.....my husband is a Spirit Filled Born Again Believer,we started out Brother & Sister in Christ and we each were COMPLETE BEFORE we met,together we are doubly Blessed & Bless doubly........so,back to square one,is he a Christian?If God is FIRST in each of your lives & you each first seek His kingdom then all things will be added,if not...............SLOOOW DOWN! Pray,pray,pray

    I think it's best to stop here so that you may reply.......                                                                            With love-in Christ,Kwik

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18 hours ago, Brittany 1990 said:

I don't know what to do and need advice. Thanks for your time reading this.

Hi Brittany and Welcome,

1. The first and most important question you must answer for yourself is whether or not your potential husband is a regenerated and committed Christian (and I trust you are).  If he is not, then it would be best to politely terminate your relationship and move on.

2. The second important question to ask yourself is whether he will come to join you after he is gainfully employed or not (at your location).  If he is expecting you to support him, then follow instruction #1, and move on.

3. If both the above answers are in the affirmative, then the next thing to do is to let him know that you will not be communicating any further with his family, and if he cannot accept that, then move on.

4. If everything above is in good order, then DO NOT go back to Facebook, Twitter, and all the rest of the so-called social media. Secure email should be more that enough, and the occasional telephone call.

Overall this situation does not look promising, and if you are prepared to be honest with yourself, you could save yourself a lot of heartache. Sentiments are fine in their place, but some objectivity is necessary to avoid pitfalls.

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Would you be willing to describe your relationship with Christ to us? It seemed like you kind of just threw in being Christian along with being Caucasian and American. Of course, no one is born a Christian. I'm wondering what being a Christian means to you? We should probably start there.

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Thanks Jayne and kwikphilly...  You bring up good points, I appreciate it.  Jayne I did write to his mother before and sent her presents.  I found out it was a misunderstanding with his mother and facebook (for some reason she didn't think it was me).  

I know that the greencard issue comes with any international relationship...  I've been thinking and praying about the future a lot lately and feel that God brought my fiance to me.  I talked to him about everything and feel better now... Continuing to pray... Thanks again!

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Guest BacKaran

So is he a Christian?

My high school friend married Mohammed before knowing what he believed about marriage, as a Muslams he's had several wives aka one night stands ..... May God help you if you marry a Muslam.

If in doubt, don't!

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On 1/9/2017 at 5:00 PM, Brittany 1990 said:

Hi, I need advice about my fiance and his family.  My fiance is Egyptian and I'm Caucasian/christian/american.  He lives in Egypt but is going to marry me next year and live here with me.  I have been in relationship with him for 3 years now.  He spent the past summer here with me and we got engaged  before he went back to Egypt.  I never met any of his family except over Facebook and a few small conversations on skype.  I cannot talk to his parents because they don't speak English well so I only say hi and my fiance translates to them what I say.  His sister in law who is also American lives a bad lifestyle and has not been nice to me over Facebook.  I see she is an angry woman and curses all the time about any subject, smokes, has children with different men...  His other sister in law in Egypt says bad things about me to my fiance's mother that are not true like I'm old or fat (by the way I'm only 26 and I'm not overweight).  Recently my fiance asked me to stop sharing our pics on FB or anything about us because his family and friends gossip about us, I don't know why this is happening.  He says that they are jealous of me and don't understand why the pretty American like me would marry him.  Anyway, I deactivated my Facebook and so has my fiancee.  I created a new one later and requested only my fiance's mother because I would like a way to communicate to her and know about her life there.  I found today that she deleted my request.  This hurts because I thought she was friendly towards me and liked me.  I don't understand why she deleted my request.  My fiance and I had agreed to name the first daughter we have after her and now I am concerned about that... How can I name my future daughter after someone who doesn't accept me?  I don't know what to do now, should I ask my fiancee about it or should I just forget about it?  Also, I am concerned about marriage to him since they are gossiping about us and I sense an anger from the women in his family.  I feel like I'm not being accepted.  My fiance and I get along great, we love each other so much. I don't know what to do and need advice. Thanks for your time reading this.

Are you a Christian? Do you know what your fiance's belief is in God? This whole situation puts up a red flag. There is very little that you really know about him. If I were you I would be very, very careful.

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