SOLOMONS PORCH Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/15/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/31/1972 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Im now married 11 yrs to a man that in all 11 yrs has never once did anything but yell and rant instead of talking. He says he dont know how. I can say black he hears white. Everytime this happens he goes to another room and sleeps, and sleeps and sleeps. He tells me to leave him alone and go away. The only thing Im doing is trying to resolve an issue we may be having, doesn't matter what its about, he will not resolve and retreats and sleeps. He says I dont have to right to complain about anything to him. Im sorry I just dont get why he is this way.....ive always been able to talk to anybody and everybody in my life, he is the first one that has ever not been able to talk to me.....Im a christian and he claims to be one as well....the reason I say claim is because of the doubt i feel towards him. He just keeps running, i tried couples counseling....nope he goes the first time and then refuses to go again. Im just at a loss....i dont understand the constant sleeping and going to another room for days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FresnoJoe Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Graduated to Heaven Followers: 208 Topic Count: 60 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 8,651 Content Per Day: 1.17 Reputation: 5,761 Days Won: 4 Joined: 01/31/2004 Status: Offline Birthday: 03/04/1943 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Welcome~! ~ Praying~! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 185 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,224 Content Per Day: 3.34 Reputation: 16,647 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted January 16, 2017 Also praying. My husband did that once when he was deeply depressed. He had cut off the ends of 4 fingers and was also in a lot of pain. He copes with pain by sleeping. He started feeling better when he found someone in worse condition than himself and reached out to that person. He was hurting so bad he couldn't risk more pain by opening up to even me. Men often express grief with anger. When he walked in the door I would tell him I loved him and he would yell What for? But it only lasted a few months. Still I know a little of the pain you are experiencing of rejection and confusion. It helped me to go for long walks or exercise and pour my heart out to God. He may need to see a medical doctor to sort it out, and even to take an antidepressant for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOLOMONS PORCH Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 4 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 99 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 91 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/15/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 12/31/1972 Author Share Posted January 16, 2017 Thank You Willa......Believe me I am doing the things you just suggested. It's just very hard to keep going thru this and have been for 11 yrs. I agree it could be depression....but he is never depressed as long as everything is going the way "he" wants it to go. If it don't boom, anger, isolation, sleeps all the time. Im truly seeking God over this and won't stop. I just didn't know the extent of mens normal behavior verses, not normal. God Bless!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,805 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 16, 2017 Blessings SOLOMONS PORCH Welcome to Worthy,so you say you are a Christian & your husband"claims to be?" So I take it that you are not sure? I'm fa little confounded as to how you wouldn't know but in any event it seems there is a huge divide between the 2 of you.....I'm sorry for you & all I can do is point to Jesus,it is up to each of you to put God in the Center ,upfront & the Number ONE priority in each of your lives as well as TOGETHER,as one flesh....... THere is little you can do when a person has no desire to have a Relationship with God in Christ except pray for them & speak the Word of God to them but you have to have your own House in Order first Quote Matthew 6:33King James Version (KJV) 33 But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. I don't know anything about you except what you tell us,you said you are seeking God OVER THIS,so what you are seeking is His Hand to fix your husband &/or your circumstance,,,,,,seek HIM for yourself & then you can provoke your husband to jealousy & envy when in spite of the situation you have Peace,Joy & Comfort...you see?We lead by example,I imagine your husbands actions are bringing you down,it certainly sounds that way,you sound very frustrated & I'm sorry you have tolerated this for 11 years......counseling,meds & all that are all temporary fixes anyhow,,,,,Healing & Deliverance is true FREEDOM in Christ Jesus,your husband is in bondage and it won't release him by any means of this world.....ask Willa the DAy her hubby became a New Creature in Christ Jesus,she certainly knows much more than she has said,lol...... My Sister Willa is a Faithful woman mof God & never gave up on her marriage,God has always been FIRST in her life.......With love-in Christ,Kwik (praying for you Sister) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BK1110 Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 22 Topic Count: 86 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 6,852 Content Per Day: 2.42 Reputation: 9,576 Days Won: 4 Joined: 07/18/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/10/1986 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Praying for you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zemke Posted January 16, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 7 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 1,028 Content Per Day: 0.23 Reputation: 451 Days Won: 1 Joined: 01/24/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted January 16, 2017 Have you tried the perspective as taking the time to build your life with friends that may have been put on the back burner but are still friends. Paying attention to relationships that have been neglected but are important to you. doing things that are you and most importantly giving the problem of your husband over to the Lord and getting on with your helping others that appreciate it or simply need it. Honor your husbands wishes and leave him alone and go and do what you want. Things will either get better or worse and and maybe worse before better but it seems staying the same is driving you crazy so, go out and have an ice cream sunday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted January 16, 2017 Share Posted January 16, 2017 Praying for you and yours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*~*Honey*~* Posted January 17, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 11 Topic Count: 9 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 762 Content Per Day: 0.11 Reputation: 1,152 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/07/2005 Status: Offline Birthday: 10/10/1982 Share Posted January 17, 2017 Welcome Solomons Porch! -Firstly I would like to let you know that I'll be praying for you and your husband! It sounds like there have been quite a few years of these behaviours going on and I'm sorry -this is obviously difficult for you .... and your Spouse ! As a Christian, you are to -Love your husbanD maybe this means giving him that space --yes, he may be angry, or depressed ....but all you can do is --lay it Jesus' feet and love him through it .- As a woman, who knows her God, you can find peace and Joy by ...when You .come to Jesus and lay your marriage at his feet ...!! You -can still Love your husband, AND walk daily close to God !!!!-letting Him provide you the strength and motivation to honour your hubby .!!! I agree with the advice sister Kwik -gave you. To focus on God and seek Him first......over time "Your Light will Shine"..!!!!!!! and if you keep praying for your husband the Lord will speak to His heart ? .....and Turn his heart toward home (-and you) ---in between all this take time o nurture and pay attention to YOUR NEEDS -work life, social life, family life, spiritual life..... --keep it balanced -! Make friends and let other nurture you too!...... blessings sister ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted January 17, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.84 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted January 17, 2017 On 1/15/2017 at 4:01 PM, SOLOMONS PORCH said: Im now married 11 yrs to a man that in all 11 yrs has never once did anything but yell and rant instead of talking. He says he dont know how. I can say black he hears white. Everytime this happens he goes to another room and sleeps, and sleeps and sleeps. He tells me to leave him alone and go away. The only thing Im doing is trying to resolve an issue we may be having, doesn't matter what its about, he will not resolve and retreats and sleeps. He says I dont have to right to complain about anything to him. Im sorry I just dont get why he is this way.....ive always been able to talk to anybody and everybody in my life, he is the first one that has ever not been able to talk to me.....Im a christian and he claims to be one as well....the reason I say claim is because of the doubt i feel towards him. He just keeps running, i tried couples counseling....nope he goes the first time and then refuses to go again. Im just at a loss....i dont understand the constant sleeping and going to another room for days. If you and your husband are Christians you do know what the Bible has to say about marriage.How a husband and wife should treat one another. Do you think that your husband is being the Christian husband that God wants him to be? Do you have children? What was this man like before you married him? It is hard to get a total picture of the whole situation since I am hearing only one side of the story. Have you brought up this problem with your husband's doctor? Maybe there is a medical or psychological problem he is dealing with. Do you want to be a doormat for your husband's abuse for the rest of your life? What would you like to see happen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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