A serious struggle

[StJoek]

I don't usually do posts in forums like this.  I guess it just gives me a lot of anxiety to post something and not get an immediate response.  But I'm up against some pretty tough circumstances and I need to reach out to others as I've gotten isolated over the years.  So this mainly deals with my wife and the many troubles she's had in her and our past and the difficulties and possible dangers that still linger.  I'm not really looking for an answer to our problems.  I really just want a group of Christians to surround us and pray with us and cry with us as we wait on God.  Both my wife and I have given our lives fully to Christ, and though we still struggle with sin, we live a repentant life, and seek God in all that we do.  I'll try to keep things brief because I don't see the sense into going into details of years and years of trauma and pain.  It's probably enough to know that whatever I may say is going to barely be the tip of the iceberg anyway, unless i write a book. 

So I'll start at the point where I first started learning what was happening, about 18 years ago.  That was when my wife came to me and asked that we pack up everything and leave town.  From the look she had I knew something was going on and I knew it was serous so I decided to trust her and leave.  At this point in our lives we were both not very close to Christ, I had turned my back completely, but we were both living sinfully.  Anyway after a few weeks of being in a new state and city she finally began to tell me that a person who I thought was a friend had been raping her and had tried to murder her shortly before we left the town I grew up in.  That was just the beginning of a long line of abuses and mistreatment my wife had endured at the hands of countless people, and  few repeatedly throughout her life.  The years went by as I learned of these things and we moved around and familiar people always seemed to be close at hand no matter where we went.  At some point my wife began to hear voices and started become extremely paranoid because of the familiar people and more and more memories were coming back to her.  I wasn't a very good husband at this point, not at all, I admit.  This was about 17 yrs ago.  But I did want to help her and not see her suffer so much.  I was looking for answers anywhere I could and fortunately the bible was one of those places.  Finally when things seemed to be at their worse my wife and I broke down and gave our lives fully over to The Lord.  We repented of all the wrong things we were doing at the time and completely turned away from that life.

However things were never really addressed.   We never got any answers and my wife was still having voices, memories, and paranoia.  We did try medical treatment several times but nothing ever helped.  We moved again and finally found a home church we were able to stay in for a few years.  But everybody has always been standoffish to us.  We came kind of close to making friends in our old home church but it all just fell apart when we had to leave because of the things that were coming against my wife.  Besides shortly later I had to move because of my job and things just deteriorated from there.  We've moved a couple times now and haven't been able to find a home church.  Every where we go there's bad memories and voices getting in my wife's head.  We don't have any friends.  I talk to my mother but she doesn't really know anything that's going on.  My wife doesn't have any family to talk to.  Whenever we try to reach out people seem too preoccupied or judgmental to be there for us.  My wife can barely hear me most of the time because of all the voices.  I know you'll say go to a doctor, you need professional help and all that.  But I'm sure it's impossible for you to understand how difficult it is.  Besides I don't know that modern psychology would be of any help.  And like I said I'm not looking for a solution, I just want a friend or two to talk to, and cry with, and maybe see God work in our lives.  It's so painful that it's so difficult just to meet one caring Christian.  I know it's this spiritual war we are in.  That people around us are being manipulated by forces they don't understand.  But still I'm discouraged.  It feels like there's only love for family and friends....and if your a stranger your on your own.  That's just how it feels I'm sure.  I know there are loving Christians out there, somewhere.

Edited February 12, 2017 by StJoek

[Logan]

Hi, I really don't have any answers for you other than that I will be in earnest prayer for both you and your wife. I'm sorry she's going through and went through so much.

[Prophet of change Lou L]

Standing with you and praying for you and your wife. That God would bring deliverance to your door step. Your endurance through all this is admirable i pray the end of this season is near for you. And that your future is one of total victory. In the name of Jesus. blessings my brother

[StJoek]

Thanks to you both.  Your prayers are very appreciated.  I get the sense that God wants an audience before this is over.  Not saying He's telling me that.  The only things I've ever heard from God over all these years is: listen, and Love.  That's basically it.  That's my orders.  He's been working on me to pray more.  I've never been very diligent about it.  I mean I pray throughout the day, little prayers, but lately I've been convicted to get in my closet.  So I've been trying to do that, but getting the habit formed isn't easy.  You can pray for that too....thanks!

[Prophet of change Lou L]

Will do, trust that the Spirit is interceding for you as well when things get tough and our faith seems small remember, He ever lives to intercede for us. In trials. Some times the groaning s have more weight then our words.    

[Prophet of change Lou L]

Sorry cant copy and paste previous for stjoek

[Leonardo Von]

On 2/12/2017 at 0:41 PM, StJoek said:

 

Dear brother StJoek,

 

Grace and mercy and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

The more you approach Christ through prayer and meditating on the Holy Scripture, the more you will have pleasure in His company and the less time you will have for your desires. And the less space you have for your ego, the more room there will be for Christ in your life and, obviously, the less room there will be for demonic possession.

Furthermore, follow what James said:

 

·        “But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Draw nigh to God, and he will draw nigh to you. Cleanse your hands, ye sinners; and purify your hearts, ye double minded. Be afflicted, and mourn, and weep: let your laughter be turned to mourning, and your joy to heaviness. Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up.” (James 4.6-10).

 

Moreover, may Jesus deliver us from all evil influence.

[SOLOMONS PORCH]

Wow u really got a heavy burden and I hear it in ur words. I feel bad for u and know theres nothing i can truly say that would make u feel better because this is a hard struggle. May I offer the only thing that comes to my mind. I bought a dvd that has scripture reading, I play it non stop I never turn it off, day and night it plays. It's just my feelings and opinions because I am currently in spiritual warfare (big time) and I know that demons hate the word of God, satan cannot stand to hear it and thats why I play it. Im not afraid, but there is times that I may not b aware of something or Im sleeping and I am confident that His word being spoken keeps them at bay. I do commend u for the love u have for her.......that is such a blessing to have a man care like u do. Praying for her and quoting the word over her life and ur marriage constantly will make a difference. 

Have u tried speaking the word over her (when u feel she isn't hearing you)? I can't imagine how she is being tortured and that angers me. Satan is a coward and I can't stand a coward. May I suggest a video on Youtube by Derek Prince. He has alot of wonderful teachings that has helped me. Also another is Above and Beyond Christian Counseling on Youtube. These two sites have helped me in my warfare (which is for my marriage). Please know I will b praying and stay strong and let JESUS HOLD YOU thru all of this, Peace be unto you and your wife in Jesus name.

[Wayne222]

Praying for you. Keep trusting in christ. He is your true strength. Remember Paul wrote when I am weak then I am strong because of christ.  Jesus Christ knows fully of your trial and your wife's trial. So he is on your side.I pray he will heal your wife. But if it was me i would try to get some medical help. God gave us doctors. We sometimes don't receive help but through doctors. If we broke our leg we would go to a ER. If we did not we would suffer a lot because of that. God blessings on you and your wife. 

[StJoek]

On 2/13/2017 at 8:09 PM, SOLOMONS PORCH said:

Wow u really got a heavy burden and I hear it in ur words. I feel bad for u and know theres nothing i can truly say that would make u feel better because this is a hard struggle. May I offer the only thing that comes to my mind. I bought a dvd that has scripture reading, I play it non stop I never turn it off, day and night it plays. It's just my feelings and opinions because I am currently in spiritual warfare (big time) and I know that demons hate the word of God, satan cannot stand to hear it and thats why I play it. Im not afraid, but there is times that I may not b aware of something or Im sleeping and I am confident that His word being spoken keeps them at bay. I do commend u for the love u have for her.......that is such a blessing to have a man care like u do. Praying for her and quoting the word over her life and ur marriage constantly will make a difference. 

Have u tried speaking the word over her (when u feel she isn't hearing you)? I can't imagine how she is being tortured and that angers me. Satan is a coward and I can't stand a coward. May I suggest a video on Youtube by Derek Prince. He has alot of wonderful teachings that has helped me. Also another is Above and Beyond Christian Counseling on Youtube. These two sites have helped me in my warfare (which is for my marriage). Please know I will b praying and stay strong and let JESUS HOLD YOU thru all of this, Peace be unto you and your wife in Jesus name.

Thanks, I really appreciate your prayers and your absolutely right about quoting the word...i've played it nonstop before too, for about a week.  I will try to pray and read more...please pray for motivation and discipline for me in these areas.  I will also pray for your marriage as well.  God rewards those who persevere.