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Should I share big secret with son?


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On 2/22/2017 at 1:01 PM, Shy Christian said:

Last week I got a letter in the mail from a child I gave up for adoption at birth almost 40 years ago.  She wanted to know if it was me and was looking for her medical history.  I only have one other child, almost 30, who still lives with me.  We're obviously very close.  He doesn't know about this.  I'd like to e-mail this lady and ask to see childhood pictures out of curiosity to see if she looks like me and I will give her information if she wants it.  If I tell my son, this may upset him to find out he had a half sibling all this time that he never knew.  He still wouldn't have a relationship with her because she is in another state.  Maybe he'd rather not know.  I don't know whether to disclose this to him or not.  What do you think?

Do a DNA test and not just guess at it.

If I had a brother I really would like to know...  and if he finds out from anyone but you it would not be good...

I don't know your son and don't know if he would be upset thar you hadn't told him so only you can the best idea of how he would accept it......  but I would understand and would really be happy about it.

 

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I can't even imagine the logistics of coordinating DNA tests when she lives in another state.  That's not an option for me.  She wouldn't have all the information she had unless it was really true.     

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Well I can see this is hard for you. God has a way for you all thats for sure but please do all you can so the child you gave up doesnt feel rejected or anything, it can hurt enormously. But just be open and kind, loving. I wouldnt hesitate to speak the truth, gently. Explaining the reasons and how noone will take your sons place. Maybe even talk a little about adoptions and when other ppl adopt their kids and they contact them about others, so you see his reaction and have time to tell those parents point thats a good idea or even see a clip or movie or so or youtube might have? Where similar sit happens together. It may prepare him and open a natural dialogue. Just an idea. But definitely this wont go away and you, and the adopted child will only feel bad living in the shadow i mean hes thirty, he must know things like this happens maybe just maybe the reaction wont be as bad as you think, he might hugh that other person silly. At least, if hes a christian, he should :) 

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God bless you in this decision of difficulty. May He give you His wisdom and peace and make clear His perfect timing. In Jesus name! amen

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Thank you for those who responded and here's the update.  I read my son the letter.  He wasn't upset, only completely surprised that he knew nothing about this and that no one let it slip out.  He was supportive of me writing back to her, and I did. 

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On 2/27/2017 at 5:15 PM, Shy Christian said:

Thank you for those who responded and here's the update.  I read my son the letter.  He wasn't upset, only completely surprised that he knew nothing about this and that no one let it slip out.  He was supportive of me writing back to her, and I did. 

That's Good news

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Shy Christian , I'm so thrilled for you , and your son , we , like Snow found on our mother's death that we had a sister , I visited her in Ireland but she has early onset dementia , so it was difficult . God bless you all , your son sounds like a lovely person . 

 

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My daughter and I have been exchanging e-mails and photos.  We have a lot in common and she looks like me. :D

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7 minutes ago, Shy Christian said:

My daughter and I have been exchanging e-mails and photos.  We have a lot in common and she looks like me. :D

That's wonderful news:emot-highfive:Praise God!!

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Thanks for the update praising the Lord for such great news. What a mighty Savior we serve!

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