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38 minutes ago, Sight said:

You know what's REALLY FUNNY.

The holy spirit told me something similar.

"Keep reading the bible. Let God's words sink in. Yes, your life stinks. Read the bible. Yes, that person has more than you. Read the bible. Yes, you're getting frustrated trying to find your answer on a Christian website, in which I advised you it is not a place to throw darts and hit a bullseye. Read the bible"

The spirit also told me "You're almost there. Not too long until your life changes forever".

Try downloading the Bible and listen to it.  you process speech with a different part of your brain and sometimes, for me, it makes more sense to hear it. I worked for Xerox for 38 years and I drove 3,500 miles a month for most of that time.  I lost track of the times I heard the Word many years ago. 

As a general rule I would listen to the new testament three times then the whole Bible.

 

Give it a try.  Last time i looked Alexander scorbey's reading was about 20 bucks.  Some are free especially if you can be online

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Building on yesterday, nothing is progressing folks. This whole "seek Jesus' face" bit is just another 5-7 years of wasted time for me. I do not have time to waste anymore. If Jesus isnt going to reveal himself to me now, he never will. I've done my part many times over. If I'm going to seek his face, he must show himself, period.

 

I will NOT waste my time seeking his face if he wont meet me halfway. I'm tired of playing games with Jesus. I'm tired of all of you, honestly. I dont want any more riddles. I am not going to spend two hours a day going on an adventure to find Jesus. I did my part, he needs to come to me. I WAY MORE THAN DID MY PART: Prayer, studying the bible, giving of myself, being still and knowing God, blah blah blah...

 

I have bills to pay. I have responsibilities to uphold. I have goals to achieve. I am not going to wait on Jesus' timeline. Where is he, where is he found, when will he reveal himself, why am I still having to run in circles for him? This is getting to be a nuisance.

Blessings Sight

   WOW,a rather impatient fellow huh? "I want it & I want it now"....hmmm,interesting..,.,..as a parent myself,my kids would NEVER get what they asked me for with that attitude,they could simply forget it! I wonder if our Heavenly Father might have a similar perspective? Any child of mine would dare not to take a tantrum.....you see,they had too much "respect" for that,knew me too well because we had a RELATIONSHIP but certainly not on the same level....I am the PARENT,they are the CHILD....I never wanted to be their "friend",I could be the best friend they could ever have but it was not my role,my role was to parent them and prepare them for life...

   Our Father prepares us for LIFE Eternal,I don't believe He is moved by our wants or demands,only by a sincere & earnest heart,a "selfless" desire to know Him.....thats all I have to offer you at this time.....praying for you                                                            With love-in CHrist,Kwik

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On 3/19/2017 at 10:40 AM, Sight said:

Look, here's the truth. My heart is HARDENED. I openly mock God for failing to provide a good life for me. I wanted romance...money...fruitfulness...and he never provided. I want him to provide. I could care less about anything else. I will not negotiate with God.

 

I dont like God. I don't have love for him, because for over TWO DECADES of my life, I've been bullied, abused, hurt, mocked, ostracized, and humiliated by society, and God never did jack diddly squat to help me out...he just WATCHED. WATCHED as I was hurt. God never cared, from what I can see.

 

How can I love a God who sandbagged me and let me suffer for over 20 YEARS from ridicule? That's no loving God to me...that's an incompetent tyrant who deserves to be condemned.

 

I don't expect any of you to understand. You all insist God is good. ALL I KNOW is a God who never gave a flying rip about me. THAT IS ALL I CAN SEE. When you say God is good, and fail to tell me why (scripture doesn't count...apparently, there is no scripture for coping with bullies and abuse, GO FIGURE) ... I have to question you, 100%. I question your integrity, your intelligence...your credibility. Who is God, who left me to get ripped apart by the wolves of society, that I should love him?

 

HE MADE ME SUFFER. WHAT LOVE DO I OWE HIM? Would you love someone who molested you? Killed a family member of yours? Mocked you in public. Let you get beat up by a gang, and did nothing about it? THAT IS WHO THE LORD GOD IS TO ME. I'm trying to learn to love him, but evidence points...HE IS MY ENEMY AND HE LET ME SUFFER.

 

As another point, you can say "Oh he went to die on the cross". HOW DOES JESUS DYING ON THE CROSS FIX THE TWENTY YEARS OF ABUSE I HAD TO TOLERATE AT THE HANDS OF CLASSMATES, TEACHERS, AND PEOPLE IN GENERAL. HERE'S THE ANSWER: JESUS' CROSS DOESNT FIX IT. END OF STORY. Please approach with a more practical response, and don't waste my time. I read the scriptures. I know what your pitches are. BE HONEST.

Mind you, all I have to do is turn my back on the LORD and become an occult Freemason. I dont owe God. He let me suffer from the hands of other children growing up. I owe HIM NOTHING. HE OWES ME.

 

So are you going to keep feeding me all this stuff about "God loves me so much that he sent his only son" ... or do you TRULY understand what the issue is here, and can you show me WHY God isn't responsible? Do you understand? DO YOU? DO YOU? Do you understand where I am coming from? This isn't me trying to deny the faith...I just want my TWENTY YEARS BACK THAT GOD STOLE FROM ME

:emot-heartbeat:

Praying~!

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On 3/15/2017 at 4:02 PM, Sight said:

Talked to my temp agency today. No work in sight. No work anywhere.

I'm 28. My work history is plagued with firings, job loss, and no experience gained. I cant afford higher education. Any form of loan will put me in debt I will never be able to pay off. I'm literally spending my days home, doing NOTHING except losing money.

 

I dont know how civil or respectful I can continue being to other Christians. I want to punch some Christians in the face when they tell me Jesus will provide. IM JOBLESS, FRIENDLESS, and SOON TO BE HOMELESS. I LIVE OFF MY PARENTS. ITS SHAMEFUL. I AM ASHAMED. NONE OF YOU SEEM TO GET IT. You just tell me Jesus will fix everything. HE ISNT.

 

...and I am reading my bible, and understanding what needs to be understood. I'm doing what I need to do to know God's word, but I'm being crushed while others are winning. You people dont seem to get it. You seem to think Jesus will heal everything and it will be ok. Tell that to my employers. Jesus sees I dont have friends...when's the last time he sent someone to help me? NEVER. NEVER. NEVER. NOT EVEN ONCE.

 

I'm trying my best here, but it's getting worse, and Jesus is just standing there. I will continue to pray and read the bible, but I hate where I am, and I dont currently see a way to prosperity. It's like I'm serving a death sentence just for God's amusement. The focus IS to take the eyes off self, and put them on others, but isn't God supposed to provide for and bless his children? ISNT HE? WELL? IM ASKING YOU A QUESTION...ISNT HE SUPPOSED TO PROVIDE FOR HIS CHILDREN?

:emot-heartbeat:

Praying~!

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So on this new work assignment I am on, I was lucky enough to have a born-again Christian coworker. We talked Jesus while doing our jobs.

 

She mentioned ONE thing in conversation: Instead of asking God WHAT I want, or WHAT I expect, or WHAT must happen...she advised me to switch my line of questioning towards HOW to get what I want in him, HOW to know his will, HOW to do what the LORD wants me to do something.

 

When I ask WHAT, it's not taking responsibility, and being like a child.

When I ask HOW, I am taking joint responsibility along with the father, and am being a man.

 

So I've been asking HOW to move forward from here. Like the other 1000 times I tried, NO ANSWER.

 

But, I'm not mad or angry or pouty. I'm resolved to submit more and seek his face, AND DONT SAY AMEN YET. I'm not entirely happy about it, but I AM submitting, and following him, because I no longer have a choice (Well, I do, but I no longer have any 'sound' choices left, other than following).

 

I'm not going to complain anymore. I just want to know HOW to receive God fully.

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Posted (edited)

Oh who am I kidding?

...I will keep seeking his face. I'm sorry for changing this up all the time. i reread what I type, and realize it's all wrong. 

Edited by Sight

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Folks, I am going to be spending more time reflecting on the word. Something is growing in me, and I seem to have a different perspective now. The world is never going to cut me a break, but I have studied enough to know who I am in Christ, and that he has overcome the world, and through him, so can I.

 

I will pray as to what to do from here.

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Everyone,

 

This is offically the end of the first "Post Where Sight Communicates" thread. The source was actually found.

Video game addiction. That was the culprit that made me fail at everything.

 

I will begin a new thread, but for now, this one has ended.

 

thank you so much, for everyone who shared their love, understanding, kindness, prayers, and words. I appreciate every one of you. God was truly present in all of you, and on this thread. I am glad I was able to be accountable and listen to all of you. I appreciate your kindness beyond words.

Thank you again!

I respectfully ask the moderators, once last-minute posts are made, to finally close this gigantic thread. the word of God is alive in my heart, and fixing me from within.

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Posted (edited)

Nope. Not the final thread. It continues.

 

Lost my 19th job after ONLY ONE WEEK. Apparently, I was doing exceptionally well. Me and my work assignment partner had accidentally taken a non-privy document with our supply box by accident. The bank we were working with werent specific in their deliberations, but I tell you, even when I TRY TO DO MY BEST, it fails.

 

I'm out for four weeks without pay. Scared. Need help. Look. I made 5 posts in a row...what's your problem? Cant anyone help me? (Except for you BK110, I do not want to hear you). I'm literally without ANY income source right now.

Edited by Sight

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