Guidence

[sugar2011]

I am a Christian, and a widow for almost 3 years. I have been talking to someone who i really care about , but he is lost. He is wanting to go further in our relationship, but i told him we could not have a intament relationship, outside of marriage. My question is , is messing around, still a sin. As long as we dont have sex?

[kwikphilly]

Blessings sugar

    Welcome to Worthy.......A sin is always a sin,Gods Word does not change,wrong never becomes right & immorality may become socially acceptable or politically correct but that is the "world" & nothing to do with the citizens of Gods Kingdom,the Body of Believers,Gods children.....we are not OF the world...we are called out,separate,Holy......why would we choose to defile the Holy Temple where Jesus Abides?

      You said it yourself"he is LOST",I take it that means he does not know Jesus......You say you really care about him,if  that it true then feed his spirit & do not feed the flesh,not his or yours    Having an initimate relationship with an unbeliever is  or anyone  for that matter should not be a consideration or some thought to entertain ,that is Temporal,carnal mindedness,,,,this is a really good "red flag" for you my Sister,to Fill your Spirit with the Word of God,leave no room for unGodly thought

                                                                                                                           With love-in Christ,Kwik

[Omegaman 3.0]

Acts 15:20
but should write to them to abstain from the things polluted by idols, and from sexual immorality, and from what has been strangled, and from blood.

1 Cor 6:13, 18
“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one eand the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.18 Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body.

1 Cor 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

1 Cor 10:8
We must not indulge in sexual immorality as some of them did, and twenty-three thousand fell in a single day.

2 Cor 12:21
I fear that when I come again my God may humble me before you, and I may have to mourn over many of those who sinned earlier and have not repented of the impurity, sexual immorality, and sensuality that they have practiced.

Gal 5:19
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality,

Eph 5:3
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.

Col 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.

1 Thess 4:3
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality;

Jude 7
just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.

Matt 5:27,28
You have heard that it was said, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

Rom 6:19
I am speaking in human terms, because of your natural limitations. For just as you once presented your members as slaves to impurity and to lawlessness leading to more lawlessness, so now present your members as slaves to righteousness leading to sanctification.

2 Tim 2:22
So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness, faith, love, and peace, along with those who call on the Lord from a pure heart.

Rom 14:23
For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

James 4:17
So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.

1 Cor 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.

Above are some things for you to ponder, and decide if they apply. No opinion there, just Bible verses.

However, my opinion is this. If you want a friend, to not be lonely, find someone who does not tempt you to sin, someone for whom you will not want to sin with.

Dating or courtship, in my opinion, is to find someone with whom you might consider marriage. At the point that you determine that a candidate is not a good match for marriage, it is a good time to end that sort or relationship.

In your case, that time ended before it began. Because:

2 Cor 6:14-16
Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? 

Aligning your self romantically with an unbeliever, is a very unwise thing. As you have already learned, the tendency will be for the unbeliever to drag you into things, that you know better than to do.

I think, even kissing, is going too far, as that will lead to something further. "Messing around", if it is not already sin enough, will lead you to further sin. 

If you read the above scriptures, then you know that even lusting in your heart, is spiritually already sin, before you perform any actions.

You also read, that going against you conscience, is also a sin. If your conscience were clear, you would not even be asking this question.

Sorry if I lack tact and gentleness, I tend to shoot straight, direct, without ambiguity.

I suspect, that you do not really need answers to your question, I believe you already know what the right thing to do is.

[kwikphilly]

Quote

Sorry if I lack tact and gentleness, I tend to shoot straight, direct, without ambiguity.                                   Omegaman

Nothing tactless at all plus the Word of God is GENTLE,LOVING & very very WISE......straight & direct answers are much better than beating around the bush,it shows true concern for one another.......................I would expect nothing less from you Brother!                                  With love in Christ,Kwik

[sugar2011]

Thank You so much, I knew what to do, I just needed to talk to someone to see if I was on the right track