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I'm struggling with my relationship with God and have been for many years.  My baby was born with some health problems and I prayed and prayed every day in the hospital chapel for God to help me and my baby.  She passed away aged 6 weeks and I felt that God didn't hear me and didn't help me.  Another Mum on the unit also prayed for God's help and her baby survived and she told me God answered her prayers.  Why didn't he answer mine?  Sometimes it seems like when the outcome is good after we turn to God we accredit it to God and the power of prayer but when the outcome is not good what then, I question what is it really all about?  I have struggled with this for many years and sometimes on Sundays when I am in Church and the minister is telling us to pray to God and listen and he will answer, I feel so sad and wonder, should I be here because I can't feel it

Can anyone help me to find some peace.  Thanks.


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I suggest, that you do not go through this alone. Seeking answers here, is not a bad thing, but have a few loving, wise, supportive and Godly people around you, will be helpful. However, they may not feel that they are that helpful, also having these kinds of questions themselves, so be patient with them.

I am afraid that the answers to your question, may not be very satisfying. God is able to hear prayer, and to respond to prayer, but He does so on His terms, not always in ways we expect or desire.

Truth is, we do not know why He allows some things to happen, prevents other things from happening, and causes yet other things to happen. It can be quite bewildering and mysterious to us.

We live in a world, where we are accustomed to thinking in the short term, and even in short distances. What I mean by that, is we tend to think about now, and the immediate future, and the things in our lives, and how those affect us. 

We are also driven by emotions of fear, and pain, and pleasure and desire. We want out lives to be comfortble, but they are not always that way.

God sees time differently. He sees it from the beginning and on into eternity. He sees how every thing fits together, and how each thing affects every other thing directly, and in terms of how future consequences will turn out.

He has a plan, and the way that He chooses to work things out, does not always seem like it it the best. 

He knew that mankind would fall into sin, and that sin would have consequences, disrupting His creation, and causing separation between Himself and mankind.

In that plan, He also made a provision, to bring people to Himself, ending that separation. That provision was the sacrifice of His only begotten son, Jesus, to be the savior of the world, to those who would believe by faith, in Him. If you do not yet know Jesus, then you need to get to know Him.

God works all thing together for good, to those who love God. However, that does not mean that everything those who love God experience in this life, seems good at the time. In fact, our lives can at times, be very unpleasant.

In our weakness, life can be hard to accept. Let's face it, pain hurts, there is no way around that. Those who have faith, also have confidence that God sees their pain, their trials, and can have comfort, even comfort and joy in the midst of our trials.

Here is the thing though. We know God has our best interested in mind, even if we cannot see it in the temporary circumstances of our lives. I recently lost my wife to an organ failure and related side effects. I know God could have prevented that, I know also, that He did not.

It was hard to watch her die before my eyes, I will not deny that, but at the same time, I took great comfort in knowing that this life, is not all there is, and that God in is love and mercy, has prepared things we do not even imagine.

When I gave my wife's eulogy, I quoted this scripture:

2 Tim 4:8 In the future there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day; and not only to me, but also to all who look longingly to His future coming.

It is normal for people to feel grief and loss. However, a faith filled Christian can trust God, and see that loss, as a gain for the loved one who had gaduated this life.

This kind of faith, is a real comfort, and leads me to actually be thankful to God, for taking my wife ahead of me.

Do you have that kind of faith? Do you trust God?

He is not there to grant our wishes. He does not always let us see the bigger picture. In faith, we understand that God loves, and does what is best. and in that faith, we trust Him, not walking by our sight, which is limited, but walking in the assurance that God sees everything, and knows what He is doing.

If we lack that kind of faith and assurance, then we need to ask God, to give us faith. We need to have the patience to grieve, while grief is diminishng over time. We need to be thankful in everything, knowing that God is in control, and working for those who love Him. And of course, we need to love Him, so that we have that relationship with Him, in which we find our faith.

Ask God, seek the faith He gives, thank him, trust Him, and recognize that He has the wisdom, love, and knowledge, to do what is right, then wait on Him as He does, whatever it is, that He is going to do.

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Blessings Juliebet.....

   Welcome to Worthy & I am very sorry for you loss.although your loss is Heavens gain.....its hard to say anything after reading Omegas beautiful,heart felt reply ....I often reflect on how he walked his talk when it mattered most,I can tell you that he truly gave God Glory as His Living Testimony,I thought of him immediately when I lost my dad......I too had Gods Peace,Comfort & yes "Joy"......although it is painful we have the Blessed Assurance of our Heavenly Father that our loved ones are where we will meet them again

    I understand that hearing about other peoples loss does not make yours any less painful ,I remember when I lost my dad it was really the last thing I wanted to hear but yet it is comforting to know we are not alone......

   Like you,I prayed & prayed & prayed...I know nothing can compare to the loss of a child ,I've been there also but that was sudden,unexpected...no time to "pray" as with a sickness.....When my dad was dying I thought surely the Lord Will Heal him,shortly before my dad was stricken with disease I had been Miraculously Healed of the same thing and so I prayed fervently....and I was answered ,only it was not the answer I expected    I've only shared this with one other person but now I will say it here,in front of everyone

   I did not hear an audible voice yet Gods Voice was loud & clear.....He said "No,I will not spare his life"' ( I was dumb founded)   He went on to Say"I Want to Give him Eternal Life & you ask I spare his temporal life-I Will Not-now tell him about my Son, that he may have LIFE Eternal with Me"   

   My dad & I talked about Jesus before that but now I was prepared,the desire of my heart was wrong and I understood,I understood the bigger picture in a way I never understood it before,from Gods View.......God answered your prayer too Julie,your baby was spared ,spared the pain,trials & tribulations that come with this temporal life and straight into Jesus Loving Embrace....no health issues,onto Perfection in Gods Glory....the Angels in Heaven celebrated that very moment ,a Joyous occasion    Just like my dad,Omegas wife.......we just love them so & don't want to let go,for very selfish reasons ......I do hope that helps you to know that the "outcome" was that your child is ALIVE(Gods child) and you will see your Beloved soon,when you are called HOME.......that is what it is all about,God is our First Love,He loved us FIRST,before we even enter the womb....He gave you 6 weeks,an introduction to the Joy that awaits you.......seek His Face Julie & Receive His Love,His Blessed Assurance,Peace,Comfort,Joy.....                                                                                                                                With love-in Christ,Kwik

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I moved this thread to the inner court where only Christians can give advice.  I also changed her group to Junior Member so she can participate.

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