Many Problems

[JTC]

I'm not quick to blame things on devils bc I think we do that too often when we're at fault. But this time I think devils are trying to destroy me. They can't possess me bc I'm saved and God is big part of my life. Since I have no family, and I'm disabled I spend much time alone except for God. I pray a few times a day but I wish I prayed even more. Lately it's as if something is holding me back. I try to pray but I don't have words to say. All I can usually do is repeat the Lord's Prayer. I wasn't always like this. I also use Psalm 25 as a personal prayer. But it gets worse. In the last 16 yrs I've learned to forgive everything and I go out of my way to avoid getting angry bc for me anger usually leads to sin of 1 kind or another. Because of all the meds I have to take it's good to have pharmacist I'm friends with. There's a private pharmacy across the street from me. In 2011 when Hurricane Sandy devastated this town the pharmacy had 3 to 4 ft of water in it. The owner took quite a loss and I had compassion on him. All his regular employees refused to help him clean up. (now I know why) I was the only person who worked with him for free trying to get the store up and running. I gave him lamps, spotlights, extension cords, and 2 phones. He broke them all. I treat other people's property as if it were my own, this man doesn't but due to the crisis I didn't see the significance of this. He kept telling me he's the kind of person that never forgets it when someone helps him and I believed him. Maybe he was back then but if he was he has changed. He's a Jew from Iraq who's family barely got out alive. He's friends with another Jew from the Mid East but this other man worships the green god. I know this because he owned my building 5 yrs and turned it into a slum. All that matters to that man is money and he's effecting my pharmacist. The pharmacist is Ray and 1 of his partners is an ex Hindu turned Christian. His partner has tried to tell Ray about Jesus but he's hostile to the NT. IMO it's not his time yet. I'm sure Ray is surrounded by demons bc he welcomes them. Ray and his demons are destroying me. All these yrs I've felt God wanted me in Ray's life bc I try to demonstrate the love of God. That always worked better for me than preaching at someone. But I can't do that when Ray is making me so angry I want to hurt him. In all my long life there's only been about 4 other people who did this me. I never hurt anyone but it's hard to get me this mad. In fact this extreme anger is why I think I have devils attacking me. This is so unlike me. So I don't just need regular prayer I need prayers to push evil spirits away.

I've been thinking of making this request for a week. I waited bc I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I don't think I am. As I get older I draw closer and closer to God until I'm now at a point where I understand some of the hard things the apostles said. I always admired them but I could never feel it, now I do. One example is there is nothing on earth that holds interest for me anymore. Everything is as nothing. If a thing isn't pleasing to God it's worthless to me. I'm sure this infuriates the devils especially since I talk about it.

I also have a problem with pain meds. They all come from a doc. I keep trying to cut the dose but I can't do it. I think an evil spirit is behind that too. And there's another one with tobacco. I have COPD I need a puffer to breath and I can't stop craving nicotine. Again I think this is an evil spirit. I don't think I can fight these things alone and win. I need all the help I can get.

Thank you for reading this. I know it's long. 

[ravindran]

Will keep you in prayers brother. Let God's peace surround you

[Wayne222]

Don't be discouraged we all have struggles. Even though we are forgiven our sins. It does not mean we don't have troubles. God's love is in you by the Holy spirit. That's why you went out of your way to help your friend. Anger is a hard thing. I always tell God when I get angry. And right then and there. Just remember that we are to forgive because God forgive us too. So when I  get angry I forgive the offender. But it's not easy lol. We have a lot of hope . We hope for Jesus to come and gather us all together as one people. And we will be with him forever.  So the things we suffer now are not worthy to be compared to that time. I hope you feel better and get stronger in the lord. 

[Guest bonnieschamberger]

I dont know about the details ...but I do know I have a recurrent anger thing that happens when it comes to thinking about my dad...I go along for quite awhile before something triggers it and I have to deal with those feelings all over again...a few months ago on one of those days I went to bed that night after being angry all day...and I had done that before  but on this night I had an anger dream where I feel God was showing me what my anger really looks like and it was downright murderous....when I woke up I cried and prayed so hard for God to help me forgive my dad and pray FOR him because the way I felt towards him in my dream was so horrid I never want to go anywhere near feeling that again.

[shanee]

On 3/31/2017 at 7:54 AM, JTC said:

I'm not quick to blame things on devils bc I think we do that too often when we're at fault. But this time I think devils are trying to destroy me. They can't possess me bc I'm saved and God is big part of my life. Since I have no family, and I'm disabled I spend much time alone except for God. I pray a few times a day but I wish I prayed even more. Lately it's as if something is holding me back. I try to pray but I don't have words to say. All I can usually do is repeat the Lord's Prayer. I wasn't always like this. I also use Psalm 25 as a personal prayer. But it gets worse. In the last 16 yrs I've learned to forgive everything and I go out of my way to avoid getting angry bc for me anger usually leads to sin of 1 kind or another. Because of all the meds I have to take it's good to have pharmacist I'm friends with. There's a private pharmacy across the street from me. In 2011 when Hurricane Sandy devastated this town the pharmacy had 3 to 4 ft of water in it. The owner took quite a loss and I had compassion on him. All his regular employees refused to help him clean up. (now I know why) I was the only person who worked with him for free trying to get the store up and running. I gave him lamps, spotlights, extension cords, and 2 phones. He broke them all. I treat other people's property as if it were my own, this man doesn't but due to the crisis I didn't see the significance of this. He kept telling me he's the kind of person that never forgets it when someone helps him and I believed him. Maybe he was back then but if he was he has changed. He's a Jew from Iraq who's family barely got out alive. He's friends with another Jew from the Mid East but this other man worships the green god. I know this because he owned my building 5 yrs and turned it into a slum. All that matters to that man is money and he's effecting my pharmacist. The pharmacist is Ray and 1 of his partners is an ex Hindu turned Christian. His partner has tried to tell Ray about Jesus but he's hostile to the NT. IMO it's not his time yet. I'm sure Ray is surrounded by demons bc he welcomes them. Ray and his demons are destroying me. All these yrs I've felt God wanted me in Ray's life bc I try to demonstrate the love of God. That always worked better for me than preaching at someone. But I can't do that when Ray is making me so angry I want to hurt him. In all my long life there's only been about 4 other people who did this me. I never hurt anyone but it's hard to get me this mad. In fact this extreme anger is why I think I have devils attacking me. This is so unlike me. So I don't just need regular prayer I need prayers to push evil spirits away.

I've been thinking of making this request for a week. I waited bc I didn't want to jump to conclusions. I don't think I am. As I get older I draw closer and closer to God until I'm now at a point where I understand some of the hard things the apostles said. I always admired them but I could never feel it, now I do. One example is there is nothing on earth that holds interest for me anymore. Everything is as nothing. If a thing isn't pleasing to God it's worthless to me. I'm sure this infuriates the devils especially since I talk about it.

I also have a problem with pain meds. They all come from a doc. I keep trying to cut the dose but I can't do it. I think an evil spirit is behind that too. And there's another one with tobacco. I have COPD I need a puffer to breath and I can't stop craving nicotine. Again I think this is an evil spirit. I don't think I can fight these things alone and win. I need all the help I can get.

Thank you for reading this. I know it's long. 

Praying now...And Just try and read diffrent parts in the Word to build up stronger and stronger...thats what i try and do...Well "listen too"for you if i remmber right.i think you said you dont see as well.GB

[Wayne222]

13 hours ago, bonnieschamberger said:

I dont know about the details ...but I do know I have a recurrent anger thing that happens when it comes to thinking about my dad...I go along for quite awhile before something triggers it and I have to deal with those feelings all over again...a few months ago on one of those days I went to bed that night after being angry all day...and I had done that before  but on this night I had an anger dream where I feel God was showing me what my anger really looks like and it was downright murderous....when I woke up I cried and prayed so hard for God to help me forgive my dad and pray FOR him because the way I felt towards him in my dream was so horrid I never want to go anywhere near feeling that again.

It must be hard to carry anger towards your Father. I used to be pretty angry against mine. I was afraid of him when I was a kid. But Only God can heal us from it. I believe nothing else will. Our Father in heaven is perfect but our earthly father's are far from it. Keep looking to God for help in healing from what causes your anger. I find it helps to remember they and all people have flaws in there image of God. And they had been treated wrongly when they were kids. So it Always  goes one generation to the next. It's so good we have christ. 

[SisterActs2]

Hi JTC.

Bro, I miss you, want to hear from you.  Read Ephesians 6 where it tells us to put on the full armour of God.  This is what I do when the enemy wants to hound me - I speak this out:

I believe in Jesus.  He died for me.  He shed His blood on Calvary that I might be made free.  You have no rights.  No right to harrass me.  He is my righteousness and He has forgiven me all my sin.  I am free because of what He has done.  I love Him; He abides in me and I abide in Him.  Get away from me now.  I praise Jesus.  I love and praise God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit.

I find the enemy flees because he hates the name of Jesus.  Keep praising the Lord.  Keep thanking Him for all He has done.  Keep worshipping Him in every way you can.  Give Him all your problems - say, "here, Lord, please take them all - I know you took them on Calvary for me".  And having done all, stand.

I am about to buy the book "Pilgrim's Progress" for two people I care about to read.  Have you read this, my brother?  All the best and I will keep praying for you.

 

[Willa]

Praying for deliverance from all physical addictions by God's grace, and better doctors if necessary to help you with this.  

[JTC]

Hi All, My eyes are very blurry today. On Tuesday I'm going to an eye doc so hopefully I'll find out what's wrong. My PCP thinks it might be just cataracts. I know surgery is necessary to fix them but from what I have heard it's very simple surgery. I saw a news report on TV saying a bunch of eye surgeons went to Africa to donate their time and skills. Something like 100 people showed up the 1st day. Blindness is rampart in that country. The large majority of the people have cataracts. One was a 5 yr old boy who was almost completely blind.  The good thing is the surgery can be done in 15 to 20 minutes in most cases. The team of docs got to almost all 100 people in 1 day. Problem was the next day there were 50 to 75 people. The reporter said the docs are doing it like an assembly line. The people are extremely grateful and I can see why.

What's bothering me the most is being alone. After 16 yrs I just no longer think this will ever change. The freaky part is that up to about 2001 two or three people called me almost everyday. It was mostly women I was friends with and 1 had a crisis almost daily. But I never felt they were taking advantage of me. I have liked helping others since HS ended. The remarkable thing was I had some kind of gift. All I used to do was listen to their problems and then say something helpful. Often all they needed was to feel like someone cared. And I really did care, you can't fake empathy. Usually they had a mother, sister, or an in-law that seemed to enjoy hurting them. I know what I was doing was a gift from God bc all I did was talk with them and they felt better. I always knew I was benefiting too. What I never imagined was that someday no one would want to speak to me at all. It's down right spooky. I used to talk 2 - 4 hrs a day or night. Now, for the past 3 months I didn't even speak 6 hrs in a month. It's as if someone is out to get me. Even if I still had my car I'd have no where to go. I hope there's a good reason this is happening to me. I guess I'll find out after I die, but I'd be able to cope better if I knew what it is from now. I feel like God is either punishing me for something I did or the devils are tormenting me in the hopes I'll turn against God. That is not going to happen. About 8 yrs ago I really believed God had abandoned me. I felt a lot like Jesus probably did on the cross. Remember when He asked His father "my God my God why have you forsaken me". I feel like God has forsaken me too. It's a terrible feeling. But 8 yrs ago I foolishly blamed God. For almost a year I felt an emptiness and a loneliness worse than ever before. And I'm no stranger to feeling alone. But what I felt 8 yrs ago was enough to make me want death. That isn't the Lord's will for me neither.  I will never do that again.  And it gets worse at night. I never sleep more than 3 hrs in a row. I think this is why I dread the nighttime so much. I'm up every 2 to 3 hours.

Thank you for listening.

JTC 

[SisterActs2]

JTC you have friends here.  I am happy to pray for you a lot.  You seem like a very nice person, and Worthy is God's gift to you right now.  People do care about you.  Just keep posting.  There is also a lot of great stuff here to read, and some very funny people who will definitely make you laugh.  I am so glad you have come back since the other day.  Keep praising and thanking Him whenever you can.  Don't look at the circumstances.  Stay focussed on Jesus.  I need Worthy for fellowship as well.  God bless mate.