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BankyC

I Married my Wife for Papers. Can I leave before my Papers arrive?

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Hi family. 

i married my wife at a point where i was desperate to get my greencard. However she was married before & got divorced because according to her, her hisband was not treating her right & she made effort for counselling but he did not change. She claimed he was cheating but with no specific evidence except gor the text messages she found on his phone. 

we met & dated for 3months and been married going 4months now. She loves me a lot & we understand eachother very much.  I did pray to God to show me if it was going to be a wrong decision before i went but i didnt seem  to hear anything from God. I remember the pastor who counselled us asked us, on a scale of 1-10 how much do we want to get married. I said "honestly, a 7" & she said 8.

I do my best everyday to be a good person & fearing God. Looking back, my conscience pricks me because deep deep down in me, i was in it for my papers. However, My papers is yet to arrive but i want to ask for forgiveness from her, her parents & God and return to my home country. Is it right in the sight of God? Is it still a sin regardless? Can i be free from her after confessing?

 

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Blessings Banky

   Welcome to Worthy.....this is a difficult question to answer as far as "Will I be free from her after confessing & IS IT SIN"......God has Convicted your heart so you already know that your motives were definitely "wrong" in the first place,besides it being totally "illegal" it was just the wrong thing to do,marrying someone to be eligible for a green card application is in no way justifiable,imo    My husband is not an American & we are working very hard to go about the whole "move" as it should be done,legally ...it's not easy but we simply TRUST GOD......I think that's where the problem lies,often times we take matters into our own hands & then we feel bad about what we have chosen to do when we could have just placed our hearts desire before God & be STILL & wait in HIM,what is His Will for us...

   Having said that I do agree with you it is time to set the record straight.....we are Christians,that Precious Blood of the Lamb has afforded us Gods Blessed Assurance that we ARE Forgiven....God Knows your heart,repent & sit down with "her" and ask her forgiveness,she did know why you got married,didn't she? That is why I find this difficult to answer,you have not really said whether she was in on your plan or not? In any event she does deserve your sincerity & apology....whether or not you will be FREE of her,I can't answer that,I think it depends on what she decides to do & whether or not she was merely a pawn in your game or part of the scheme to immigrate?A woman scorned is no joke,is she a Christian too?Did the Pastor know your real reason for wanting to marry...there are quite a few variables in the equation.did you dupe everyone? Yes,Brother,,,it is time to confess,no matter the consequence and the Good News is that we know you have made quite a mess f or yourself & STILL,God Will Strengthen you to get through it all simply because He Loves you......what you will be FREE of is that guilt that is heavy on your heart.....now this time,pray for Gods Direction,Wisdom & Understanding & FOLLOW His Lead,,,,,,,praying for  you,go in Peace

                                                                                                                                 With love-in Christ,Kwik

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I don't think you are going to find one person here that is going to affirm you for divorcing someone based on what you are saying, particularly as you are a Christian. 

  I think you really need to pray and reflect on the verses in 1 Cor 13. No matter who you marry sooner or later the survival of that marriage is going to require that you have to put the effort into practicing those principals.  The lust will fade away and reappears from time to time. Just may have faded away faster in your case. But the love, the love as practiced in those principals is truly a blessing and takes time to develope.

I think you owe it to her, yourself and God to put an effort into honoring the commitment you made. Never underestimate what God will do if you take his advice! It may very well be that he's cooking something up as a result of this relationship that you never dreamed of. There's absolutely no doubt in my mind that if you both put those principles into practice you will see the wonderful person you married....even when you don't like them very much. 

Our God is a forgiving God and even though he extends his grace and mercy to us, we still have to accept that that has been done. If you decide to leave this relationship, it would be good for you to first take time to pray and consider if you really can accept that or if it will be the proverbial albatross around your neck.

That's my 2 cents worth, coming from 30 years of marriage (May 30)

Mike2

 

All the best

Mike 2

 

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What you did was probably indeed wrong...but the Bible makes it clear that divorce, aside from infidelity, is definitely wrong. Historically, few people really got married for "love," and even now that they do, we can see that doing so rarely leads to lasting relationships anyway.

Do you have no feelings for her? Can you not choose to love her? Because love really is a choice, at the end of the day, not some fleeting chemical emotion.

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Even if your motives are wrong, you made a commitment to her in God's eyes.  You should still represent Christ to her in your commitment, in laying down your life for her, in encouraging her in holiness and in following Christ.  You should make every effort to provide for her as well.  If you want to return home for a visit, you should try to take her with you--legally.  Introduce her to your family.  

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Marrying some one for LOVE or because you like them  is a relatively new concept in human history-- its usually for mutual protection or financial stability of some sort-- but what ever your motives were-- you made a promise---

Stick it out- The Lord does not like divorce ~~

 

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22 hours ago, BankyC said:

Hi family. 

i married my wife at a point where i was desperate to get my greencard. However she was married before & got divorced because according to her, her hisband was not treating her right & she made effort for counselling but he did not change. She claimed he was cheating but with no specific evidence except gor the text messages she found on his phone. 

we met & dated for 3months and been married going 4months now. She loves me a lot & we understand eachother very much.  I did pray to God to show me if it was going to be a wrong decision before i went but i didnt seem  to hear anything from God. I remember the pastor who counselled us asked us, on a scale of 1-10 how much do we want to get married. I said "honestly, a 7" & she said 8.

I do my best everyday to be a good person & fearing God. Looking back, my conscience pricks me because deep deep down in me, i was in it for my papers. However, My papers is yet to arrive but i want to ask for forgiveness from her, her parents & God and return to my home country. Is it right in the sight of God? Is it still a sin regardless? Can i be free from her after confessing?

 

You married this woman for selfish reasons. It is because you wanted your green card. Did you ever tell this woman that you loved her? If you did you lied about that as well. You also lied when taking you wedding vows to this lady and to God. Being a good person is not going to get anyone to heaven. You must ask Jesus Christ into your life and you must be obedient to God as well. No your actions are not right in the sight of God.

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:emot-heartbeat:

Welcome~!

~

Praying For Your Marriage
And For The Daughter Of The KING
Who Gave You Her Heart To Hold In Trust

~

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

And they shall put my name upon the children of Israel; and I will bless them. Numbers 6:24-27

Love, Your Brother Joe

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If she was married before she may be bound to her first husband for as long as he lives therefore your marriage to her could be void in the eyes of God. It's best to pray and seek God's will in what direction to take from this point.

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Your comment about your wife's previous marriage is not the question here, It seems you are looking for any loop hole to get you out of the situation you placed yourself in, no one else created this situation but your desires. I also have done stupid things so I don't judge you. it is good that you can see your mistake, but if you truly want to go forward in Christ,  His first call is to repentance, not breaking your wedding vow. I don't see this as a way to start afresh in your Christian walk.

God bless

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