Jump to content
Jacie

He never left me, no matter what I said to Him.

Recommended Posts

This is kind of difficult for me to write, because so much happened. But here goes. My mom left my dad when I was 2 and my sister was 3. To this day, I can still remember the abuse she went through.  It was difficult for her being a single mom, but she did the best she could. She saved up enough money to buy us children's Bibles when we were quite young. She read verses to us right before bedtime prayers. My sister prayed, but I didn't. I asked God why He was so mean. Why did He make my dad abuse my mom. Why was He making my mom's life so hard. I didn't get an answer. 

A few years later, my mom told me something that she had waited to tell me until she thought I would be old enough to understand. I'll never forget the day she told me that I had been born with epilepsy, and that she had it too. She explained what it meant. My anger boiled over with God. I asked God why He did this to me and my mom. Again, no answer. I asked God why life was so hard. I never got an answer. One day, I told God that if He was real, to prove it. Nothing happened. In my young mind I decided that this so-called God that my mom, sister and the Pastor talked about had abandoned me. Church meant nothing to me. I went through the motions of kneeling at my bed and pretended to pray. Pray? Who, me? Yeah, whatever. Pray to who?  

After school one day, I picked up that Bible and opened it up almost right to the middle and started reading. I was reading the Psalms. I came to the 23rd Psalm and reality kicked in. I re-read it, taking in every word. 
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." It was then that I started crying and told God how sorry I was that I ever doubted Him. 
As my sister and I got older, when something challenging happened, I turned to God. I prayed. I didn't always get an answer, sometimes I didn't get the answers I wanted, but I realized that God knows what was best for me and my family. He still does.
God hadn't abandoned me, I had abandoned Him.

Jacie
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Thanks for sharing.

At 16 i began to keep a diary journal and I asked who am I? It was a song we were singing in choir but it got me thinking... Who am I?

Now I know I'm a child of the risen Lord!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
15 hours ago, BacKaran said:

Thanks for sharing.

At 16 i began to keep a diary journal and I asked who am I? It was a song we were singing in choir but it got me thinking... Who am I?

Now I know I'm a child of the risen Lord!

Amen.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Yes, yes -amen!  Oh, praise God!! What a beautiful testimony, Jacie.  God bless you, Sister:emot-heartbeat: 

Psalms 34:8

“O taste and see that the LORD is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

God is good, even when we are mad at Him.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
28 minutes ago, KPaulG said:

God is good, even when we are mad at Him.

I'll always remember the wonderful feeling I had when I realized that God had been with me throughout my entire struggle, that He never left me.

Praise God.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

 

 

On 4/11/2017 at 11:32 AM, Jacie said:

I'll always remember the wonderful feeling I had when I realized that God had been with me throughout my entire struggle, that He never left me.

Praise God.

Praise the Lord!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/11/2017 at 2:32 PM, Jacie said:

I'll always remember the wonderful feeling I had when I realized that God had been with me throughout my entire struggle, that He never left me.

Praise God.

Amen.

See you in heaven @Jacie

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Reading your story, reminded me of this verse. I love the description in the New Living Translation but included the King James Version if you prefer that. Thanks for sharing your story. :rofl:

For the word of God is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart. (Hebrews 4:12) [King James]

For the word of God is alive and powerful. It is sharper than the sharpest two-edged sword, cutting between soul and spirit, between joint and marrow. It exposes our innermost thoughts and desires. (Hebrews 4:12) [New Living Translation}
 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 4/8/2017 at 4:37 PM, Jacie said:

This is kind of difficult for me to write, because so much happened. But here goes. My mom left my dad when I was 2 and my sister was 3. To this day, I can still remember the abuse she went through.  It was difficult for her being a single mom, but she did the best she could. She saved up enough money to buy us children's Bibles when we were quite young. She read verses to us right before bedtime prayers. My sister prayed, but I didn't. I asked God why He was so mean. Why did He make my dad abuse my mom. Why was He making my mom's life so hard. I didn't get an answer. 

A few years later, my mom told me something that she had waited to tell me until she thought I would be old enough to understand. I'll never forget the day she told me that I had been born with epilepsy, and that she had it too. She explained what it meant. My anger boiled over with God. I asked God why He did this to me and my mom. Again, no answer. I asked God why life was so hard. I never got an answer. One day, I told God that if He was real, to prove it. Nothing happened. In my young mind I decided that this so-called God that my mom, sister and the Pastor talked about had abandoned me. Church meant nothing to me. I went through the motions of kneeling at my bed and pretended to pray. Pray? Who, me? Yeah, whatever. Pray to who?  

After school one day, I picked up that Bible and opened it up almost right to the middle and started reading. I was reading the Psalms. I came to the 23rd Psalm and reality kicked in. I re-read it, taking in every word. 
"The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever." It was then that I started crying and told God how sorry I was that I ever doubted Him. 
As my sister and I got older, when something challenging happened, I turned to God. I prayed. I didn't always get an answer, sometimes I didn't get the answers I wanted, but I realized that God knows what was best for me and my family. He still does.
God hadn't abandoned me, I had abandoned Him.

Jacie
 

Thanks for sharing your testimony!!!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

×