Randal Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/17/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted May 17, 2017 I recently found that the man I've been dating for sometime is actually married. He does in fact travel a lot for work, so it made sense when he was gone. Obviously I have left, but I'm torn about whether or not I tell his wife. I feel I've taken too much from her already, and I don't want to hurt her. But I would want to know. I think my heart is pure in my thought to tell her, but I'm afraid it might be to hurt him. I just keep thinking of all the doubts, and all the questioning, and I wonder if she's going through that too Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.82 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 17, 2017 3 hours ago, Randal said: I recently found that the man I've been dating for sometime is actually married. He does in fact travel a lot for work, so it made sense when he was gone. Obviously I have left, but I'm torn about whether or not I tell his wife. I feel I've taken too much from her already, and I don't want to hurt her. But I would want to know. I think my heart is pure in my thought to tell her, but I'm afraid it might be to hurt him. I just keep thinking of all the doubts, and all the questioning, and I wonder if she's going through that too That is not uncommon. It happens all the time. Are you a Christian praying person? Then I would pray for the man who lied to you and his wife. You have to make sure that if you tell his wife that it is not a vindictive act. I am one of those women. I was the last to know. I think I might have wanted to know from one of those women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randal Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/17/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 Thanks so much for responding! I've been praying over it but am still so torn. I feel so relieved to know now that I'm not as angry as I thought I would be. I keep questioning my motives. I think my main motive to keep quiet is embarrassment (pride) and main motive to tell isn't vindictiveness but I keep thinking about her doubting all the time like I started to and I just feel so terrible. I can't imaging broaching that subject either though. I think with either answer she hurts and I hate that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sight Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 4 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 205 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 230 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/10/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 17, 2017 If you dont tell his wife, she will be hurt even more. Get it done and get over it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 17, 2017 Share Posted May 17, 2017 14 hours ago, Randal said: I recently found that the man I've been dating for sometime is actually married. He does in fact travel a lot for work, so it made sense when he was gone. Obviously I have left, but I'm torn about whether or not I tell his wife. I feel I've taken too much from her already, and I don't want to hurt her. But I would want to know. I think my heart is pure in my thought to tell her, but I'm afraid it might be to hurt him. I just keep thinking of all the doubts, and all the questioning, and I wonder if she's going through that too What a tough situation you're in. I'm really sorry this is happening to you and his wife. You would have to weigh the pros and cons of telling her I think. He's probably got other women on the side and then you have to ask is he using protection if you were intimate with him. What if he's been with someone who has a disease? Does he have kids? Honestly I'd want to know especially if he doesn't use protection (not saying you have an std). I would also get myself checked out just in case. The guy sounds like he might be a pathological cheater. Hope everything works out for you and his wife. I would tell her but it's completely your call. I'm so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Randal Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 0 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 5 Content Per Day: 0.00 Reputation: 4 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/17/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted May 17, 2017 Thank you all so much for helping. One last question. It appears the general consensus is I do have to tell her, which is what I thought too. Any advice on how? Never having met her, the most I can do is call her up on her cell phone and tell her hey you don't know me and I'm sorry but… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sight Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service Followers: 4 Topic Count: 25 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 205 Content Per Day: 0.07 Reputation: 230 Days Won: 1 Joined: 09/10/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted May 17, 2017 16 minutes ago, Randal said: Thank you all so much for helping. One last question. It appears the general consensus is I do have to tell her, which is what I thought too. Any advice on how? Never having met her, the most I can do is call her up on her cell phone and tell her hey you don't know me and I'm sorry but… Yeah. Just tell her, and just do it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted May 17, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,991 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.82 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted May 17, 2017 45 minutes ago, Randal said: Thank you all so much for helping. One last question. It appears the general consensus is I do have to tell her, which is what I thought too. Any advice on how? Never having met her, the most I can do is call her up on her cell phone and tell her hey you don't know me and I'm sorry but… That sounds like a good idea. Then the ball is in her court. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Intercessor Ginger Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 10 Topic Count: 0 Topics Per Day: 0 Content Count: 46 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 64 Days Won: 0 Joined: 05/25/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted June 10, 2017 It's very unfortunate you have gotten into the situation like this, but I don't see how it's your fault since you were deceived by this man. This is likely a pattern of his and I'm sure that he's done it over and over again. I understand how you feel guilty and want to share this information with his wife but honestly, I don't believe it is your place to do any further damage in this wreck of a marriage. Who knows what's really going on there ? It's very hard for a woman not to have some kind of idea that something like this is going on with her husband. Since you've already broken it all off, and I'm sure you've repented for your part in this, I would stay as far away from this person as you possibly can. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Absolem Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 13 Topic Count: 49 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 433 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 225 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/25/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/24/1990 Share Posted June 10, 2017 On 5/16/2017 at 7:29 PM, Randal said: I recently found that the man I've been dating for sometime is actually married. He does in fact travel a lot for work, so it made sense when he was gone. Obviously I have left, but I'm torn about whether or not I tell his wife. I feel I've taken too much from her already, and I don't want to hurt her. But I would want to know. I think my heart is pure in my thought to tell her, but I'm afraid it might be to hurt him. I just keep thinking of all the doubts, and all the questioning, and I wonder if she's going through that too I agree with Ginger. You don't need to stir up anymore trouble. You committed adultery and fornication. Worry about coming to the Lord and sinning no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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