Wondering About the Sincerity of My Repentance

[flipflop2234]

I'm afraid that my repentance is not genuine. I have confessed my sins to the Lord but I am afraid that the only reason I have come to him as out of fear and that I love the Lord's gifts and not him. I greatly fear hell, for good  reason, it's hell. I have had to deal with many doubts and fears during my walk with the Lord but this one has really scared me. After my confession to the Lord and plea for forgiveness, I have of course attempted to turn from my sin. I haven't had much trouble addressing the habitual sin in my life that I can cut out and the Lord has been graceful in allowing my successes such as my ceasing of masturbation, pornography, lying, cheating, and even stealing. This conviction is usually never in the form of a discernible "godly sorrow" or crappy feeling but rather a realization that I need to stop followed by fear of disobeying the creator of heaven and earth. My change of action usually comes from me reading a sort of warning or forbidding passage in scripture and seeing that it applies to me and then I pray for strength and motivation to cease said sin and ask for forgiveness for doing it in the past. I am usually lacking in remorse over the past sin because I have confidence that Jesus payed for me in full and get a sort of motivation to stop because I've been set free from the bondage sin and get assurance of eternal life because of my apparent growing in faith and obedience. This usually has worked with my realization of the wrong committed in combination with fear of God's Wrath if I disobey him as my means of motivation. I have asked God to transform my fear into a perfect love that is spoken of in the Bible that drives out fear and I've asked him to help me love HIM and JESUS rather than just the gift of eternal life, peace, and joy. I've said that I'm sorry to the Lord and I wish that I have never committed those sins but I'm afraid that I don't feel sorry  enough for the actual acts. I want to feel Godly sorrow for my sin and I know that my sin is basically spitting on Jesus in rebellion but I can't force myself to feel sorrow even though I want to! I typically find out that I am participating in a sin and confess it and seek to cease it right away to conform to gods will but a brokenness or sorrow is usually absent and I just pray that God would strengthen me to continue in abstinence of whatever sin is relevant.

 Is the path that I'm on looking healthy or do I need to do some serious reevaluating? 
Is my conviction through reading and hearing God's word followed by an urge to change my ways not of the spirit and of my own decietful heart? 
Id love to hear what you guys think.

[Guest bonnieschamberger]

I remember hearing similar things from some people who called in to this radio show I listen to on xm family talk...anyway they suggested alot this book called" Toxic Faith" by Stephen arterburn that might help you as well...anyway Im sorry I dont have more to offer or something better but I wanted to give you that at least and here is a link to some of their broadcasts...

http://newlife.com/broadcasts/

[wingnut-]

I think you are on the right track, but I do have a few questions if you feel like answering them, if not that is fine.  Do you attend a church?  Are you in fellowship with other believers on a regular basis?

Will be praying for you to find His perfect peace.

God bless

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." - Proverbs 9:10

 

What you are feeling is not new and I already felt many of the things you are describing. You are just sick, and you need Jesus very much:

"Jesus answered and said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”" - Luke 5:31-32

 

No one can please God by living according to flesh, and we cannot love God if we do not love ourselves and other people (living according to the flesh).

"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like..." - Galatians 5:19-21

 

As you are sick, just keep in mind it is a process that needs time. All I can say to you for now is that Jesus loves you very much, and He is willing to treat so you can be healed.

"All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." - John 6:37

 

We are all happy that you decided to come to Him as you are, because if you wait till you are healthy... Then you would never come to Him. This is commonly seen in the world as some people say: "But I'm in sin, how can I go to church or go to the Lord?". As Jesus said in Luke 5:31-32, we are to come to Him as we are.

 

And when you sin, do not turn away from the Lord, ask for his help, mercy, forgiveness.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

 

Thoughts of accusation may come sometimes, but do not turn away from the Lord. He is our advocate:

"My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." - 1 John 2

 

But how will you know of all that as you are not seeing? 

You will know because it is written, the Lord let everything we should know already written. We just have to believe, have faith.

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." - Hebrews 11:6

 

Keep reading God's Word everyday, no matter how much you read just do it. It is food for the Spirit.

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you." - John 14:26

 

God bless you, in Jesus' name!

Edited May 17, 2017 by 4LdKHVCzRDj2

[flipflop2234]

11 hours ago, wingnut- said:

I think you are on the right track, but I do have a few questions if you feel like answering them, if not that is fine.  Do you attend a church?  Are you in fellowship with other believers on a regular basis?

Will be praying for you to find His perfect peace.

God bless

I attend a Bible believing baptist church and my best friend is the person that enticed me to come to his church. I love the church and have gotten to know the pastors and love the fact that there is not great emphasis on tradition or ceremonies. The sermons are usually long and I like the speaker.

[flipflop2234]

2 hours ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
And the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding." - Proverbs 9:10

 

What you are feeling is not new and I already felt many of the things you are describing. You are just sick, and you need Jesus very much:

"Jesus answered and said to them, “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.”" - Luke 5:31-32

 

No one can please God by living according to flesh, and we cannot love God if we do not love ourselves and other people (living according to the flesh).

"Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness,
idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies,
envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like..." - Galatians 5:19-21

 

As you are sick, just keep in mind it is a process that needs time. All I can say to you for now is that Jesus loves you very much, and He is willing to treat so you can be healed.

"All that the Father gives Me will come to Me, and the one who comes to Me I will by no means cast out." - John 6:37

 

We are all happy that you decided to come to Him as you are, because if you wait till you are healthy... Then you would never come to Him. This is commonly seen in the world as some people say: "But I'm in sin, how can I go to church or go to the Lord?". As Jesus said in Luke 5:31-32, we are to come to Him as we are.

 

And when you sin, do not turn away from the Lord, ask for his help, mercy, forgiveness.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." - 1 John 1:9

 

Thoughts of accusation may come sometimes, but do not turn away from the Lord. He is our advocate:

"My little children, these things I write to you, so that you may not sin. And if anyone sins, we have an Advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous." - 1 John 2

 

But how will you know of all that as you are not seeing? 

You will know because it is written, the Lord let everything we should know already written. We just have to believe, have faith.

"But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him." - Hebrews 11:6

 

Keep reading God's Word everyday, no matter how much you read just do it. It is food for the Spirit.

"But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you." - John 14:26

 

God bless you, in Jesus' name!

Thanks man. Yeah I have been readin the Bible every day one of two ways.

One: pick one chapter and really chew on it and reflect on what it means, reading it through in different translations

Two: Read through a large amount like a novel and just get as much of that good word as I can!

[wingnut-]

15 minutes ago, flipflop2234 said:

I attend a Bible believing baptist church and my best friend is the person that enticed me to come to his church. I love the church and have gotten to know the pastors and love the fact that there is not great emphasis on tradition or ceremonies. The sermons are usually long and I like the speaker.

 

Awesome   You are definitely on the right track, fellowship and reading the bible are a great combination.  If you have not yet been baptized, I personally found this to be a great help to myself personally.  Will keep you in prayers.

God bless

[Willa]

You may not feel the same as the repentance when you were first saved.  Now God just points out your sin, you agree with Him as you have confessed it, and you desire to be cleansed from all unrighteousness, which He has promised to do.  Some of these things you that you have been learning about you just had to be informed about.  

Real repentance is turning from sinfulness to God for forgiveness and asking Him to come into your life.  That is what we did when we first came to Christ and made Him our Lord and Savior.  Then we were born again and the Holy Spirit came to live in us.  So now God looks at you and says, "I see Jesus growing in him", and He is pleased.  He is conforming you to the image of Christ, from glory to glory.  So just keep doing what you are doing.  

You saw the ugliness of your sinful nature when you were first saved.  The real ugliness is in our bad attitudes.  Some of the external things in the old testament are cured by changes in attitude, such as a lack of love, self righteousness or unforgiveness, and are changed by work of the Holy Spirit in us.  He will show you how ugly they are in God's eyes.  For instance, pride is the bad attitude that leads to rebellion.  That was the sin of satan and led to his leading 1/3 of the angels to rebel.   Lust leads to sexual sin and so forth.  That is why Jesus deals with the sins of the heart in Matthew 5-7.  When God gave us a new heart, He gave us one that desires to live a godly life.  Before you were saved you didn't know and didn't care.  So I wouldn't worry about not feeling miserable enough.  When you see God in His glory and purity you will be like Isaiah .

Isa 6:1  In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne, high and lifted up, and the train of His robe filled the temple. Isa 6:2  Above it stood seraphim; each one had six wings: with two he covered his face, with two he covered his feet, and with two he flew. Isa 6:3  And one cried to another and said: "Holy, holy, holy is the LORD of hosts; The whole earth is full of His glory!" Isa 6:4  And the posts of the door were shaken by the voice of him who cried out, and the house was filled with smoke.

Isa 6:5  So I said: "Woe is me, for I am undone! Because I am a man of unclean lips, And I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips; For my eyes have seen the King, The LORD of hosts."

Isa 6:6  Then one of the seraphim flew to me, having in his hand a live coal which he had taken with the tongs from the altar. Isa 6:7  And he touched my mouth with it, and said: "Behold, this has touched your lips; Your iniquity is taken away, And your sin purged."

Isa 6:8  Also I heard the voice of the Lord, saying: "Whom shall I send, And who will go for Us?" Then I said, "Here am I! Send me."

 

[Absolem]

Sounds like your conscience is being seared. Be careful.

 

Pray a lot a lot. At least an hour to let God work on you. Keep your discipline and it'll pay off I promise.