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Something to be mindful of


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Theres a cliff in australia that became a popular suicide point. However, one man who lived nearby saved many of these people. When he saw them there prepping to jump, he'd invite them inside for a cup of coffee and a chat.

Theres a reason I posted that story, something Ive noticed that we Christians can do  that while well intentioned and nothing wrong with it may be not totally correct.

Scenario- Bob sees Steve looking down, He asks him if hes ok. Steve says no, Bob then tells him something like  God knows your struggle and Ill pray for you and goes about his way. And that's it. He doesnt take the time to ask Steve whats the issue or show any interest.

The issue is this-Like the man in the first story, we never know what impact we can have by  taking the time to show some interest or concern in peoples lives and issues. By all means pray for them and tell them about Gods love but  why not ask them if they want to talk or take the time to try to help?

I flat out hate it when Im feeling depressed and when I tell someone they tell me something super spiritual or say theyll pray but dont take the time to at least ask me what happened and Im not the only one who pointes that out.

This isnt meant to blast people for being uncaring because Im sure we are but its something I think we all should be mindful of in the situation.

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Guest bonnieschamberger

absolutely people want that connection....that whole "I see you and Im hearing you"...it reminds me of when I was going through my divorce and God led me to 2 different divorce support groups through churches ....on my way there for the first meeting I just kept thinking"sigh..this isnt going to help"...but it absolutely did help ..being able to be real with others suffering the same thing helped tremendously

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That can be a two way street. You stop to be a help and you can end up in a situation that can be intimidating.  Been in situation, where the person does not want to let you go and goes on and on .  This can be the opposite of what you felt, when the person did not stop to take the time  to have that talk with you.  Also, those situations can become a danger to your own person as the person mental status may not be at normal level.  Utmost discernment and wisdom has to be exercise in these type of situations.  Nowadays, when people witness a crime, they shun reporting or giving statements for fear of reprisals. just an example.

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39 minutes ago, creativemechanic said:

Theres a cliff in australia that became a popular suicide point. However, one man who lived nearby saved many of these people. When he saw them there prepping to jump, he'd invite them inside for a cup of coffee and a chat.

Theres a reason I posted that story, something Ive noticed that we Christians can do  that while well intentioned and nothing wrong with it may be not totally correct.

Scenario- Bob sees Steve looking down, He asks him if hes ok. Steve says no, Bob then tells him something like  God knows your struggle and Ill pray for you and goes about his way. And that's it. He doesnt take the time to ask Steve whats the issue or show any interest.

The issue is this-Like the man in the first story, we never know what impact we can have by  taking the time to show some interest or concern in peoples lives and issues. By all means pray for them and tell them about Gods love but  why not ask them if they want to talk or take the time to try to help?

I flat out hate it when Im feeling depressed and when I tell someone they tell me something super spiritual or say theyll pray but dont take the time to at least ask me what happened and Im not the only one who pointes that out.

This isnt meant to blast people for being uncaring because Im sure we are but its something I think we all should be mindful of in the situation.

 

Sometimes people who ask how you are don't really want to know, they are simply going through the motions as to appearing cordial.  If I ask someone how they are doing I am prepared to listen to their answer.  Sometimes you can ask someone and they don't want to talk about it as well, so the situation can be awkward for many different reasons.  Maybe some people don't want to pry?  It really is impossible to know the motives of others, so I find it best just to give people the benefit of the doubt.

God bless

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9 hours ago, Yowm said:

I consider praying a very caring and important thing.

It is. That an I pointed it out. However,just praying may not necessarily be all needed to do.

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Here's how I see it. If u say I not good. I'll ask what's wrong if I mind me asking. If u say u dontvwanna talk then i respect that and will pray and later check in. If they want to talk then fine. Far different from saying ok,God loves you,ill pray for u and go about my business

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10 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

Scenario- Bob sees Steve looking down, He asks him if hes ok. Steve says no, Bob then tells him something like  God knows your struggle and Ill pray for you and goes about his way. And that's it. He doesnt take the time to ask Steve whats the issue or show any interest.

You post a story now I have a story that goes along with this. (its kind of a long story sorry)   Back in my 20's I was working 2 part time jobs. One job my hrs were 7am to 12pm the other 1pm to 10pm. I had just enough time in between jobs to go back to my apartment, eat something before heading out to the next job. I had no days off as any day off from one job meant I was working at the other job. It was wearing me down.  I would sometimes get a Sunday off in which I went to church.  I was worn down and deeply depressed about everything. After the service people would run around shaking hands with everyone and being all happy and jolly about it asking "how are you?" This  one guy would come up to me, shake me hand and would ask "how are you?"  to which I would just nod and say "I am fine", and he would say "That's great  !" and walk away to shake the next hand. This went on for a bit and one Sunday in the dark debts of my depression I though I am just going to tell him how I feel and see if he really hear me. So that Sunday after the service when the same guy who always shook my hand came up to me all happy and jolly ask me "how are you?" I answered him by saying "Well I am suicidal."  Without a blink the guy shook my hand and said "That's great!" and walked way happy and jolly ready to shake the next person's hand. 

At that time I made it a point in my life to never ask the question "how are you?" without really meaning it.  Oh, and I wasn't really suicidal back then and I felt kind of bad for saying it after I said it. But I felt worse that the guy had just walked away. 

Oh, and a happy ending to it all. I got full time at one of the jobs and was able to quit the extra job.  Things got better after that. :D

And I like your post with the cartoons. :P

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15 hours ago, LadyKay said:

You post a story now I have a story that goes along with this. (its kind of a long story sorry)   Back in my 20's I was working 2 part time jobs. One job my hrs were 7am to 12pm the other 1pm to 10pm. I had just enough time in between jobs to go back to my apartment, eat something before heading out to the next job. I had no days off as any day off from one job meant I was working at the other job. It was wearing me down.  I would sometimes get a Sunday off in which I went to church.  I was worn down and deeply depressed about everything. After the service people would run around shaking hands with everyone and being all happy and jolly about it asking "how are you?" This  one guy would come up to me, shake me hand and would ask "how are you?"  to which I would just nod and say "I am fine", and he would say "That's great  !" and walk away to shake the next hand. This went on for a bit and one Sunday in the dark debts of my depression I though I am just going to tell him how I feel and see if he really hear me. So that Sunday after the service when the same guy who always shook my hand came up to me all happy and jolly ask me "how are you?" I answered him by saying "Well I am suicidal."  Without a blink the guy shook my hand and said "That's great!" and walked way happy and jolly ready to shake the next person's hand. 

At that time I made it a point in my life to never ask the question "how are you?" without really meaning it.  Oh, and I wasn't really suicidal back then and I felt kind of bad for saying it after I said it. But I felt worse that the guy had just walked away. 

Oh, and a happy ending to it all. I got full time at one of the jobs and was able to quit the extra job.  Things got better after that. :D

And I like your post with the cartoons. :P

 

Sounds a lot like my life the last decade or so (regarding the two jobs around the clock) :laugh:  That's kind of what I was eluding to, and what abby is saying in her post.  We shouldn't ask someone how they are doing if we aren't interested in the answer, and sadly many people are not, they are just appearing to care.  They probably need the prayer more than the person who is down.

God bless

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20 hours ago, creativemechanic said:

...we never know what impact we can have by  taking the time to show some interest or concern in peoples lives and issues. By all means pray for them and tell them about Gods love but  why not ask them if they want to talk or take the time to try to help?

In US society, most people don't really care when they ask 'How are you doing?".  They're simply following protocol and being 'polite'.  That's how things work.  

If someone does want to talk, that makes it quite hard to find someone else actually is willing to listen.   One would think places like churches would make that more likely, but I haven't found that to be true.  Even in pastors, smaller groups, and bible studies prefer to keep their topics 'light'. 

Should Christians be more willing to listen and take time to see if others really want to talk?  I think so.  As with the stories here, a few minutes of listening can mean a world of difference to people we hardly know.  Sure, we're all busy and have to work, get to appointments, complete errands, and more.  If we knew it could immensely affect someone's life, would we be more inclined to take time to listen?   Is it the duty of Christians to help the poor in spirit as well as those with other needs?

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12 hours ago, Yowm said:

But it is the single most important thing one can do.

i never said  not.

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