Guest Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 You havent really told us what she is nagging you about have you? You mentioned prayer but what it is that she wished were different in your life? Without all info,how can we properly council? We dont know if you are sinning and running from council or if you truly are a victim of a heavy handed well meaning friend. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted June 11, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 185 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,224 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,647 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2017 Most people, even my closest friends, seem to think I am easily manipulated. I have had many friends try to "fix" me. Usually I tell them plainly, slowly, firmly and simply, "DON'T TRY TO FIX ME!" One was trying to get me to recycle, one was trying to get me to make my bed first thing in the morning. Both are OK to do. But my brain only wants coffee first thing in the morning. Or, to 2 friends who were trying to get me to vote for Bernie Sanders I said slowly "I DON'T WANT TO LIVE IN A SOCIALIST NATION!" These people are always taken aback, and some are offended. But those that are true friends are still true friends. Others I learned were not so genuine. That hurt, too. But some people are so full of their own thoughts that they fail to listen. It takes firmness to open their ears and let them know that as much as you like them and know that they mean well, you are your own person and make your own decisions. Actually, the technique is something I leaned in AKC dog training class. To speak with authority, speak slowly and firmly, and lower your voice. Many people think it means to shout. Wrong! Shouting doesn't accomplish much. In fact, it tends to raise the adrenalin in both dogs and people. The purpose is to get them to take notice calmly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted June 11, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2017 1 hour ago, Blueyedjewel said: But does she have the plank in her eye? Has this been established? Matthew 7 goes on to say this: You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and [then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye] What that scripture is saying is that when we have taken out a certain thing from our lives, we are then qualified to judge and give advice. It is also saying that if we arent guilty of what they are;we are qualified. And also, it is an knee jerk reaction for [the world] or those with little scriptural knowledge to use this passage out of context. I am a straight shooter . Abide in Christ Well, I am going off of what the OP said in their post in regards to both parties having suffered abuse and one pushing their idea of how to deal with it on the other. So it is applicable and in context with the OP. Either you did not read what the OP said or we didn't understand what was being said as the same thing. I'm a straight shooter too. God bless Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 (edited) 9 minutes ago, wingnut- said: Well, I am going off of what the OP said in their post in regards to both parties having suffered abuse and one pushing their idea of how to deal with it on the other. So it is applicable and in context with the OP. Either you did not read what the OP said or we didn't understand what was being said as the same thing. I'm a straight shooter too. God bless Respectfully, you dont know that it is applicable because we dont know the details of what the friend is pestering her about! We only know that she has told her to pray. Oh and btw, I did read the full OP. Perhaps I even read into further than you did! You are only assuming and we both know how that turns out............... On another note: Your name wingnut. I havent heard that term since I left NM where I lived near an airforce base! Abide in Christ Edited June 11, 2017 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted June 11, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2017 3 minutes ago, Blueyedjewel said: Respectfully, you dont know that it is applicable because we dont know what the friend is pestering her about! You are only assuming and we both know how that turns out............... I think there is a reason this information was included in the post. "One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow." If it wasn't applicable I can see no reason to include it, can you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 2 minutes ago, wingnut- said: I think there is a reason this information was included in the post. "One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow." If it wasn't applicable I can see no reason to include it, can you? Applicable but how? " Anyway, this woman is NAGGING me to the point of complete exasperation! What about, prayer! She is trying to micro manage my life, is very bossy to the point of becoming controlling; I had NO IDEA that she was like this at all! " What is her friend pestering her about pertaining to prayer and why would she? I am somewhat analytical and pragmatic. I have an investigative personality. I dont think we know enough to tell the other woman to not judge . I dont think we know enough to say that she is guilty of what she is pestering the OP to pray about! Which btw, I will ask you to just let it lie until the OP responds accordingly. This is not profitable given the fact that WE DONT HAVE ENOUGH INFO Abide in Christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 4 minutes ago, Abby-Joy said: Either way, it is still wise to take a step back, set some boundaries, and pray ... all of which can be done in love. IF what her friend is hammering her about has some weight, some value, then the Lord can reveal that to her while she does the above (in bold). We dont know that! If you saw someone walking close to the edge of a cliff would you keep yelling" get away from the edge .You are going to fall over!" OR would you just back off and pray............................. WE DO NOT KNOW ENOUGH INFO TO GIVE SOUND ADVICE. Perhaps this is by design idk Sometimes people just want others to agree with them or give them sympathy rather than devulging all the info to be given adequate advice.Im not saying this is true of this scenario but I am saying again and again that we do not have enough information. I really dont know how to be any clearer. sigh................... Abide in Christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Estrella Posted June 12, 2017 Group: Senior Member Followers: 26 Topic Count: 33 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 813 Content Per Day: 0.24 Reputation: 1,002 Days Won: 1 Joined: 03/11/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted June 12, 2017 We are supposed to be responding to the OP. Instead, we are commenting and analyzing each other's comments. One OP's problem is branching into other unrelated quarrels. Do you see what i see? Does it matter who is a straight shooter or crooked shooter? Typical of all other forums, people end up attacking one another instead of the problem or issue itself and instead of answering the direct OP's question or problem, other sub questions emerge leading to nowhere in the end. I think if any, the OP should answer or the questions should direct back to her.. instead of criticizing and speculating among one another. Sorry i had to point it out. Im tired of this repetitive patterns in forums. Sorry if i said anything wrong. I hope the OP responds and provide clearer explanation to avoid these kinds of misunderstandings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentle Fawn Posted June 14, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 54 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 138 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 284 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/14/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 14, 2017 OK. Now this is getting down right upsetting, Blue-eyed Jewel, I never thought that anyone would turn my need for assistance into an argument about who read what I was attempting to explain! Willa, Abby-Joy and Wingnut, got it right; they didn't need the details that I couldn't and chose not to give. Now that I have read this, I am thankful that I didn't say more than I did. You want details, but they heard my heart! It is extremely difficult for me to type out my thoughts, so much of the time I find that I leave a lot of words out, and don't even know it. I am having to learn to reread everything that I write. Blue, you need to soften your approach, and listen more. Gentle Fawn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentle Fawn Posted June 14, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 54 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 138 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 284 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/14/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 14, 2017 My friend and I, had a nice long talk; she listened and I calmly, but firmly told her how I felt about her pressuring me: she received it very well and is not offended either. We both have learned something new about each other and now I know that she truly does love me and is a real friend! This is awesome, I never had a friendship like this before! Now I have 3, this amazes me, truly God is listening to me and answering my prayers and fulfilling my needs. Praise the Lord! Thank you, for your most helpful instruction, I listened and put it to work and had success! And I am grateful that I didn't go into more detail, I can see that that was a wise choice. Only two misread what I said, the rest of you understood and listened with your hearts! God bless you all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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