Gentle Fawn Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 54 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 138 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 284 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/14/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted June 10, 2017 How on earth do I get through to people that they are disrespecting my boundaries and causing me intense frustration!? One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow. Anyway, this woman is NAGGING me to the point of complete exasperation! What about, prayer! She is trying to micro manage my life, is very bossy to the point of becoming controlling; I had NO IDEA that she was like this at all! Yes, I have told her how I felt about it, even expressed my ire and frustration, I spoke my thoughts clearly, but she is not honoring my words, my words return to me as powerless! I feel disrespected and completely unheard. Now I am avoiding her phone calls, because I just do not know what to do!? Anyone have any insight to share with me? I can't avoid her forever, that just does not solve anything now does it. But, I need a break from her incessant nagging and harping! People like this have ALWAYS intimidated me, I cow down to them and get where I literally cannot talk to them at all (that is a life long problem)! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplejeff Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Mars Hill Followers: 12 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7,689 Content Per Day: 2.39 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 20 Joined: 06/30/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted June 10, 2017 That is the nature of people, everywhere. It is a life long problem, for many many people, everywhere.... unless... ... ... unless they go along with the world and like it.... (and lose their soul) ... But stand up for the Truth, seek God's Kingdom, and persecution is guaranteed in the world we all live in. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Absolem Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 14 Topic Count: 49 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 433 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 225 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/25/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/24/1990 Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Gentle Fawn said: How on earth do I get through to people that they are disrespecting my boundaries and causing me intense frustration!? One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow. Anyway, this woman is NAGGING me to the point of complete exasperation! What about, prayer! She is trying to micro manage my life, is very bossy to the point of becoming controlling; I had NO IDEA that she was like this at all! Yes, I have told her how I felt about it, even expressed my ire and frustration, I spoke my thoughts clearly, but she is not honoring my words, my words return to me as powerless! I feel disrespected and completely unheard. Now I am avoiding her phone calls, because I just do not know what to do!? Anyone have any insight to share with me? I can't avoid her forever, that just does not solve anything now does it. But, I need a break from her incessant nagging and harping! People like this have ALWAYS intimidated me, I cow down to them and get where I literally cannot talk to them at all (that is a life long problem)! Love her in Jesus name. She sounds like Shes hurting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
missmuffet Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 34 Topic Count: 1,990 Topics Per Day: 0.48 Content Count: 48,688 Content Per Day: 11.83 Reputation: 30,343 Days Won: 226 Joined: 01/11/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted June 10, 2017 1 hour ago, Gentle Fawn said: How on earth do I get through to people that they are disrespecting my boundaries and causing me intense frustration!? One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow. Anyway, this woman is NAGGING me to the point of complete exasperation! What about, prayer! She is trying to micro manage my life, is very bossy to the point of becoming controlling; I had NO IDEA that she was like this at all! Yes, I have told her how I felt about it, even expressed my ire and frustration, I spoke my thoughts clearly, but she is not honoring my words, my words return to me as powerless! I feel disrespected and completely unheard. Now I am avoiding her phone calls, because I just do not know what to do!? Anyone have any insight to share with me? I can't avoid her forever, that just does not solve anything now does it. But, I need a break from her incessant nagging and harping! People like this have ALWAYS intimidated me, I cow down to them and get where I literally cannot talk to them at all (that is a life long problem)! It sounds like this woman is controlling and manipulative.Two very bad qualities This person knows you are a good victim for their negative behavior. I think you should pray for this person and ask God to guide and direct you as to how to proceed. Tell God everything that is on your heart. Then step back and avoid contact until God gives you direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentle Fawn Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 54 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 138 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 284 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/14/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 10, 2017 I totally agree with you! and have already stepped back. She also gives constant advice, it is never ending! She admits that she has never gone through anything like I have and that she does not follow her own advice. Telling me how to pray when she herself isn't living by her own rules. That is not a good mix either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentle Fawn Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 54 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 138 Content Per Day: 0.04 Reputation: 284 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/14/2013 Status: Offline Author Share Posted June 10, 2017 42 minutes ago, Absolem said: Love her in Jesus name. She sounds like Shes hurting. She is hurting, and avoiding her own issues, by concentrating on trying to fix me! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Absolem Posted June 10, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 14 Topic Count: 49 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 433 Content Per Day: 0.17 Reputation: 225 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/25/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/24/1990 Share Posted June 10, 2017 23 minutes ago, Gentle Fawn said: She is hurting, and avoiding her own issues, by concentrating on trying to fix me! Just try to be understanding and forgiving. She'll come around. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOONE7 Posted June 11, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 11,715 Content Per Day: 4.60 Reputation: 9,752 Days Won: 106 Joined: 04/29/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2017 21 hours ago, Absolem said: Just try to be understanding and forgiving. She'll come around. Good advice Absolem and keep praying for her. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wingnut- Posted June 11, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted June 11, 2017 23 hours ago, Gentle Fawn said: How on earth do I get through to people that they are disrespecting my boundaries and causing me intense frustration!? One friend I have know for 30yrs, we have been really close but never really knew each other (we live in different states and have not seen each other in 17yrs). We have both been through abusive marriages, I am still in mine, she is now a widow. Anyway, this woman is NAGGING me to the point of complete exasperation! What about, prayer! She is trying to micro manage my life, is very bossy to the point of becoming controlling; I had NO IDEA that she was like this at all! Yes, I have told her how I felt about it, even expressed my ire and frustration, I spoke my thoughts clearly, but she is not honoring my words, my words return to me as powerless! I feel disrespected and completely unheard. Now I am avoiding her phone calls, because I just do not know what to do!? Anyone have any insight to share with me? I can't avoid her forever, that just does not solve anything now does it. But, I need a break from her incessant nagging and harping! People like this have ALWAYS intimidated me, I cow down to them and get where I literally cannot talk to them at all (that is a life long problem)! If she is a Christian, perhaps remind her of the passage to remove the plank from her own eye before trying to remove the speck from yours. It's hard for me to relate to your position because I am very blunt, so I personally would just tell her to back off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted June 11, 2017 Share Posted June 11, 2017 2 hours ago, wingnut- said: If she is a Christian, perhaps remind her of the passage to remove the plank from her own eye before trying to remove the speck from yours. It's hard for me to relate to your position because I am very blunt, so I personally would just tell her to back off. But does she have the plank in her eye? Has this been established? Matthew 7 goes on to say this: You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and [then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye] What that scripture is saying is that when we have taken out a certain thing from our lives, we are then qualified to judge and give advice. It is also saying that if we arent guilty of what they are;we are qualified. And also, it is an knee jerk reaction for [the world] or those with little scriptural knowledge to use this passage out of context. I am a straight shooter . Abide in Christ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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