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the pecking order in a marriage


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Been reading the ever hilarious Things only christian woman hear. While some of the points are indeed pertinent(some Christians sadly encourage women to take abuse to keep the marriage alive or blame women for husbands cheating) but  alot of them show alot of  prideful unchristianlike attitudes eg.  I got  x amount of degrees and know y amount of languages but they  tell me i'd be great for childrens ministry. But theres some which kinda caught me.

 

 

Yeah, but who gets to make the final call in your marriage?”

“You and your husband are equals, but he makes the final decisions in your marriage.”

Was once told that men r the "CEO" in marriage. Women can give their input, but husbands make final decisions.”

 

My question is this..... Isnt that how its supposed to be- ie submission? Im not saying that the husband is the Lord and master who struts around like a dictator. A wise man would would listen to his wifes imput of any decision and when need be delegate orheed it, but the verse clearly states the husband will be the head of the home.  As a female friend of mine pointed out- She will give her opinions on the decision but leaves it up to her husband for the final say.

I think this is a clear example of how christians need to be careful of getting so conformed to worldly philosophies (eg feminism)that it causes us to oppose Godly standards

 

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I would rather not tell other married people what they are suppose to be doing. Everyone and every marriage is different. My mother in law got onto my husband(her son) for going to the movies on his own when I wanted to say home. I have no issue if my husband wants to go see a movie on his own. Like wise my husband has no issue if I want to go to see a movie on my own. But my mother in law said that if one does not want to go, then you both have to stay home.  Because that is what she and her husband dose so that is what we are suppose to do. We did not agree.    So when it comes to other people's marriage. I feel it is best for me to stay out of it unless I am ask by the married couple for my advice. 

As for your question who makes the final call in the marriage. My answer is it is bass on who has the better ideal? If my husband wants to sell everything we own and go live in a cave in the woods because he thinks it would be fun. I would not be going alone with that. <_<

Like wise I think the husband should consider the feelings of his wife on matters. Even if she goes along with it, she may have hidden resentment and anger at her husband. Especially if things don't go as they should. 

If you think my answers are not the right answers, then I guess it is good that you and I did not marry each other. :P

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6 minutes ago, Yowm said:

I believe the final decision is his but so he is also the one that bears the responsibility  for that decision. 

Yowm, I like the idea that I can discuss things with my husband. But in the end, it is up to him to make the final decision. There have been times that I have been more than happy to give an answer along the lines of, "Let me run that by my husband..." 

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Just now, Yowm said:

Yes, husbands that don't seriously listen to and consider their wives are two bricks short of a load.

Great answer Yowm :). I am scared to say too much, one of my threads were closed down...

Earlier this year after some discussion, I was all set for us to move and had begun a series of discussions and applications. Just as we were starting to get answers, my husband came back and said that he felt we should not proceed with the move. So for now, we are where we are at. We are in a great church so a move would mean trying to find somewhere that we can call "home". Come Winter time, I may not feel so happy that we stayed. But, it was a decision that had to be made, while we were in a deciding State and he made the final call. :) 

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A Christian couple in a marriage learn to function as a team. They lean on one each others strength. The man is not given free rein to dominate the woman. The couple need to stay in prayer regarding the decisions that they make. 

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5 hours ago, Yowm said:

Right, not all decisions are easy, that is why it is important to pray for one another.

It is even more important to pray WITH one another.

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Ephesians 5:22-28 explains it quite well.

We are to submit to our husband's authority, but he is to love us as Christ loves the church.  As wives, we are also called to be our husband's helpmate, which means we are also supposed to help them with these decisions, however.

1 Peter 3 even goes so far as to tell us that this is how wives can minister to our unsaved husbands.

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Though I, the husband, was entrusted by God the responsibility to make the final decisions in our marriage, it is my wife, in her feminine subtle, wise and inspired wisdom,  who is the one who usually brings up what scripture would have us do.  But she's cool.  My male ego is not aroused emotionally (usually) when she simply reminds me of God's word for our/His path in our marriage.  And then;   "Husbands! Love your wife"..................

“Behind every great man is a great woman!” ……that saying is especially true for the husband of the Proverbs 31 woman!

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On 6/13/2017 at 11:25 PM, creativemechanic said:

Been reading the ever hilarious Things only christian woman hear. While some of the points are indeed pertinent(some Christians sadly encourage women to take abuse to keep the marriage alive or blame women for husbands cheating) but  alot of them show alot of  prideful unchristianlike attitudes eg.  I got  x amount of degrees and know y amount of languages but they  tell me i'd be great for childrens ministry. But theres some which kinda caught me.

 

 

Yeah, but who gets to make the final call in your marriage?”

“You and your husband are equals, but he makes the final decisions in your marriage.”

Was once told that men r the "CEO" in marriage. Women can give their input, but husbands make final decisions.”

 

My question is this..... Isnt that how its supposed to be- ie submission? Im not saying that the husband is the Lord and master who struts around like a dictator. A wise man would would listen to his wifes imput of any decision and when need be delegate orheed it, but the verse clearly states the husband will be the head of the home.  As a female friend of mine pointed out- She will give her opinions on the decision but leaves it up to her husband for the final say.

I think this is a clear example of how christians need to be careful of getting so conformed to worldly philosophies (eg feminism)that it causes us to oppose Godly standards

 

I agree totally, as a woman, and a non-feminist. A wive's opinions should be treated as important and a husband should always listen to his wife but in the end the final decision must come down to him.

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On 6/13/2017 at 9:25 PM, creativemechanic said:

Been reading the ever hilarious Things only christian woman hear. While some of the points are indeed pertinent(some Christians sadly encourage women to take abuse to keep the marriage alive or blame women for husbands cheating) but  alot of them show alot of  prideful unchristianlike attitudes eg.  I got  x amount of degrees and know y amount of languages but they  tell me i'd be great for childrens ministry. But theres some which kinda caught me.

 

 

Yeah, but who gets to make the final call in your marriage?”

“You and your husband are equals, but he makes the final decisions in your marriage.”

Was once told that men r the "CEO" in marriage. Women can give their input, but husbands make final decisions.”

 

My question is this..... Isnt that how its supposed to be- ie submission? Im not saying that the husband is the Lord and master who struts around like a dictator. A wise man would would listen to his wifes imput of any decision and when need be delegate orheed it, but the verse clearly states the husband will be the head of the home.  As a female friend of mine pointed out- She will give her opinions on the decision but leaves it up to her husband for the final say.

I think this is a clear example of how christians need to be careful of getting so conformed to worldly philosophies (eg feminism)that it causes us to oppose Godly standards

 

Hi CreativeMechanic,

I think you have brought up a great topic. I love how you brought it all together, in your final sentence. It is so easy to be conformed to a way of thinking. And so often, it can happen to the best of us, without even realizing it has happened. 

Blessings :) 

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