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abrooks429

Advice needed

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Hi! I hate to even type this out but..to give you a background story I had an "emotional affair" with another man through Facebook about 6 years ago. He ultimately asked if we could turn things physical and I said no.  I recently told my husband about this and we are still healing from this even though he has been completely forgiving and supportive. It's actually me right now that is having a hard time letting go of the wrong I did. Since then the man's family has even moved to the same town we live in and his wife and I have become somewhat friends but I wouldn't consider her really close but we have talked a good bit.  My question is, I have already confessed to my husband and asked God for forgiveness, am I biblically obligated to tell the wife? I have just been depressed about this issue lately. I have pulled away from the wife so I don't make things complicated but we do sort of run in the same social circle.  I believe as a Christian that you can "fall from Grace" so I want to do everything right by God. I am currently depressed and feel like a horrible person. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks! 

 

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I don't necessarily think you have to tell his wife.  But I do think it would be wise to cut all ties to him.  Maybe find different social activities to be involved with so that you don't run in to him.  

 

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Blessings abrooks

 Welcome to Worthy,you are not going to "Fall from Grace" ,you have confessed to God & obviously have repented,your sin is Forgiven and FORGOTTEN by GOD.....you have a wonderful  husband who has forgiven you ,Praise Jesus!!! The enemy would like you to hang on to the past but God Almighty cast that sin into the SEa of Forgiveness so why should you carry it around in your heart?I don't believe its your place to tell the woman,I think it is her husbands responsibility but I can't answer that question for you.....you & your husband should inquire of our Lord,let Him lead you & guide you(you & hubby are ONE FLESH) it is not your decision alone,you are both in this together

    As far as running in the same "social circle"as these people I'm confused,what does that mean?The only social circles I know are Christian Fellowship,church etc..... I can't imagine talking to this woman,I think you may need to have a talk with the fellow(her husband) if you are to associate with them in a group then he needs to come clean as well......I don't think you & your husband should be hanging around these people unless the dirty laundry is aired,I don't know if they go to your church,I would like to know more about this "social circle",If it were me I don't think I could be "friends" with a woman after such a thing,its seems very deceptive.......maybe the "men" should have a talk?

   I certainly would not want to hurt this woman & be part of interfering in an already suffering marriage,Prayer........Seek Gods Wisdom but by all means,forgive yourself as you have been forgiven                                                    With love-in Christ,Kwik

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2 minutes ago, da_man1974 said:

I don't necessarily think you have to tell his wife.  But I do think it would be wise to cut all ties to him.  Maybe find different social activities to be involved with so that you don't run in to him.  

 

Agree ,why hurt more people with this then you have to,it's sad it happened in the first place, for you to get peace about this whole thing ,tell God how you feel and He will forgive you ,to not to get into temptation ,run to safe places and don,t listen to your feelings as they are decieving,read the Word so God can heal you and restore your first love for Him,He did not let you fall way from grace but is waiting for you to trust Him again and to follow Him,He died for your sins,including this,Praise God for He is good!

 

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1 minute ago, angels4u said:

Agree ,why hurt more people with this then you have to,it's sad it happened in the first place, for you to get peace about this whole thing ,tell God how you feel and He will forgive you ,to not to get into temptation ,run to safe places and don,t listen to your feelings as they are decieving,read the Word so God can heal you and restore your first love for Him,He did not let you fall way from grace but is waiting for you to trust Him again and to follow Him,He died for your sins,including this,Praise God for He is good!

 

I agree totally about feelings.  They are very deceptive.  That's what got you into the issue in the first place.  I believe praying to God can give you the answer.  He will reveal to you what needs to be done.

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1 minute ago, da_man1974 said:

I agree totally about feelings.  They are very deceptive.  That's what got you into the issue in the first place.  I believe praying to God can give you the answer.  He will reveal to you what needs to be done.

It was not me who was posting for advice,sorry ,I should not have your post attached to what I wrote . ....

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1 minute ago, angels4u said:

It was not me who was posting for advice,sorry ,I should not have your post attached to what I wrote . ....

Oh I know I was meaning for the gal that posted.

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1 hour ago, abrooks429 said:

Hi! I hate to even type this out but..to give you a background story I had an "emotional affair" with another man through Facebook about 6 years ago. He ultimately asked if we could turn things physical and I said no.  I recently told my husband about this and we are still healing from this even though he has been completely forgiving and supportive. It's actually me right now that is having a hard time letting go of the wrong I did. Since then the man's family has even moved to the same town we live in and his wife and I have become somewhat friends but I wouldn't consider her really close but we have talked a good bit.  My question is, I have already confessed to my husband and asked God for forgiveness, am I biblically obligated to tell the wife? I have just been depressed about this issue lately. I have pulled away from the wife so I don't make things complicated but we do sort of run in the same social circle.  I believe as a Christian that you can "fall from Grace" so I want to do everything right by God. I am currently depressed and feel like a horrible person. Any input would be appreciated. Thanks! 

 

The fact that you refused this mans suggestion to turn your emotional affair into a physical affair is good. Emotional intimacy can progress to physical intimacy very easily but you did not let it get that far. Having an open discussion with your husband about this is healing and good for your relationship. You might want to have a discussion with your husband as to why you had this emotional affair. You have asked God for forgiveness and He has forgiven you. You need to forgive yourself. We are all sinners and we all make mistakes. We need to hear from those mistakes. If we don't then we are lost. Do not allow Satan to step in and tell you what a bad person you are. That is not the way God looks at you and that is what is most important.  I do not suggest that you tell the man's wife about the affair. That would just complicate things. I do think that you need to pray for this man and his wife. She may have problems in the future with her marriage.

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Posted (edited)

 

Abrooks429, 

 

   You are a case report for letting the poison of the past continue to poison your now, and if you are not careful, it'll poison your future as well.

Its 6 years ago and you are burning up the gift of life worrying about this, and for WHAT?

For What?

In all of this situation, = Have you learned what not to do?........Then GOOD for you.....= as experience that teaches, is WISDOM LEARNED.

So, its Time to move on and away from any involvement as much as possible, as if you don't then this is just going to keep you too close to the edge and sensitive to the whole situation.

Move on, as 6 yrs of your life given to this is much much more then enough.

Disconnect.

Now.<

 

Edited by Behold

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Posted (edited)

Is this guy a Brother?

If so, I don't hold much sympathy for Christian men who play the secular game - this guy is playing you and taking you for granted  also a friendship between you and his wife so you can still be "around"......?

Cut the ties completely - how dare he do this to his wife and you.

Get right with God and leave him be.

Sorry I'm blunt but guys(Brothers)  like this make me mad .

As far as telling his wife what happened: reverse the situation and what if a woman was friendly with you, all the while keeping back the fact that your husband propositioned her. If you found out, how would you feel toward her and your husband? I know how I would feel. Betrayed. Personally, this woman needs to know what type of man she's married to. You could be one of many women he chats up through social media. 

This isn't a good situation and its ongoing - you feel bad obviously, that's understandable and it could be that this feeling is present because God wants it resolved.

God will not leave your side, a repentant heart is pleasing to God - like I have said before, you need to walk away from this couple - 

 

Edited by HisFirst

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