wingnut- Posted June 30, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 39 Topic Count: 101 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 7,673 Content Per Day: 1.31 Reputation: 7,358 Days Won: 67 Joined: 04/22/2008 Status: Offline Share Posted June 30, 2017 On 6/26/2017 at 2:25 PM, MLT3117 said: Hello, My husband is having these same spiritual battles ever since before we were married. I told him how many men i had been with before we were married as part of our pre-marital counseling with our church and he said he was okay with that and we never spoke of it again. But ever since I told him he tells me he needs my prayers because he thinks the enemy is placing these evil thoughts about me and my past. He's a mail carrier and often times he's out there on the streets alone in his thoughts and he starts to think about my past and the relationships that I used to have with others and it ends up consuming him. He tells me he prays immediately and asks for the Holy Spirit to help these thoughts cease. He loves me very much and knows that this marriage is his first ministry and so we attend church every Sunday, both attend midweek studies, women and men studies, we even have our own bible studies often at home. He's a man of God and is constantly in the Word of God for help, but even that couldn't stop him from going through my phone last night and seeking "stuff". He woke me up in the middle of the night and showed me emails from me and an old friend whom I was talking to before I even met my husband. He dug back to 2014 to find this stuff and I cant believe the enemy overcame him that much. He said he felt his heart break and then he became angry at me. When I told him he was acting ridiculous he cursed the words "**** you" at me, this is the first time he's ever cursed at me. We have been married for 3 months, but together for 1 1/2 year. I've been praying for him. I dont know what else to do. I love my husband and I dont want this to consume him any longer. We could really use all of your prayers and encouragement. Thank you. Praying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
No124get1952 Posted June 30, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 3 Topic Count: 1 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 159 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 184 Days Won: 0 Joined: 01/31/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 08/17/1952 Share Posted June 30, 2017 MLT3117, Praise God!!! Prayers are working. I am praying and I am sure this entire community will continue to do so. I do have a suggestion of something you can do together that may provide something you both can "do" that will help your marriage. I have written a book, available at Amazon.com, called "The Marriage Triangle, God's Geometry for a Healthy Marriage". It would be good for you both to get a copy and begin reading it together. It's not a cure-all, but it will provide a very solid foundation for your relationship. Now to the issue at hand. Forgiveness is something that is absolutely required. Matthew 6:14,15 says, " 14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. " This is a BIG deal. Your husband needs to forgive you of your past sins simply because you have already put them under the blood of Jesus at the Cross (you have, haven't you?). Forgiveness is a process. It takes an "on purpose" choice to forgive over and over again until our spirits actually are healed. As a man, I can understand his brokeness, but it can only be healed by Jesus and only when he makes a choice to forgive. Since he has time on his mail routes, he CAN choose to forgive you over and over until his heart is mended. This is why Jesus said to forgive 70 x 7, because forgiveness is a process and needs to be repeated until our own wounded hearts are healed by the love of Jesus. You need to choose to forgive as well. I know your heart hurts at those who have wounded you, but forgiveness will allow your heart to heal. That is what forgiveness is for!!! It has nothing to do with those who hurt us....God has a plan for them and if they don't live up to it, He is going to judge them. By our choosing to forgive, we are telling God that we believe He is big enough to punish sin where necessary and that we trust Him to fix the other people. Once we get that far, THEN can focus on God fixing us, because sister, I need fixin'. I suspect there are things you need to have Jesus fix too. So let's get on with it: let's allow Jesus to minister peace to our hearts and joy to our spirits. Blessings P.S. I also do marriage counselling so feel free to answer back, I have more for you for victory in your marriage. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ravindran Posted June 30, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 1 Topic Count: 11 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 496 Content Per Day: 0.14 Reputation: 398 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/18/2014 Status: Offline Share Posted June 30, 2017 Few things which many have already highlighted 1) Prayers 2) More time in spiritual activities between the 2 of you. Not just spending time in men's and women's fellowship separately. That is good, but does not build your relationship with him. Spend time in Bible study, fasting, prayers. It would help 3) Marriage counselling 4) Burn the bridge to old things. Why those things are even there? Mails and stuff? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Thallasa Posted June 30, 2017 Share Posted June 30, 2017 On 27/06/2017 at 1:20 AM, BacKaran said: Just a suggestion, i'd delete all old men friends or boyfriend's emails, letters, notes etc. Youre married to your husband and your old history is just that old history, no need to keep anything from the past. I kept photos of my son with his bio dad, not many but I sealed them in an envelope before I began to date my hubby. When I knew I was getting married, I opened the envelope and tossed the photos but kept the negatives in a sealed envelope if son wanted to see his bio father but out of respect for my husband, I waited for my son to ask and he never did. He was 18 when he met his bio father but Dad was dad who adopted him ?. And definitely a Christian born again counselor.... I think that this is a very wise post ,as it gives a chance of a real new beginning . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kwikphilly Posted June 30, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 96 Topic Count: 306 Topics Per Day: 0.08 Content Count: 18,130 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 27,806 Days Won: 327 Joined: 08/03/2013 Status: Offline Share Posted June 30, 2017 Blessings MLT Quote Just a suggestion, I'd delete all old men friends or boyfriend's emails, letters, notes etc. Youre married to your husband and your old history is just that old history, no need to keep anything from the past. BacKaren I'm glad to hear you have already deleted everything......besides the new beginning as one flesh you are each one a New Creation in Christ Jesus!!! Praise the bLOrd Sister,I can see you are in love with hubby & often times when we love someone bit is very difficult to see things clearly,I understand you say you go to church together,mid week Bible Study & sometimes home Bible Study but apparantly something is "off" with hubby because he is not taking captive his thoughts on his mail route,he is letting them take r6oot & he dwells on them.....I don't know what "he prays immediately" means(to him or you) The important thing is that He Love the Lord FIRST,you Love the Lord FIRST,each have your own personal Intimate Relationship with the Lord PLUS "TOGETHER" as One Flesh,putting GOD FIRST ..... An hour on Sunday,an hour or two mid week & maybe a couple of more hours do not equal 168 hours of the week God MUST be Included in everything,all the time....Christ died for us,we LIVE for Him Quote 1 Thessalonians 5:17 “Pray without ceasing.”King James Version (KJV) Does this mean we recite "prayers/words" all the day long? No,absolutely not but what it does mean is that we should be very conscious of Gods Presence all day long,submitting to Christ Lordship is letting Him Actively participate in our lives......Worship together & Praise Him when you rise.....thank Him together & breakfast ,invite Him into your daily lives (each individually & together) I do hope this helps because it is very hard to know what someone understands "prayer" to be,worship,praise.....we know so little about one another,hopefully we can learn & grow together here as the Body of Christ-Praise Jesus! You are in my prayers,both of you......hubby would do well some audio player headset,maybe praise music or recorded sermons? Love,Kwik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mat007 Posted July 1, 2017 Group: Junior Member Followers: 4 Topic Count: 45 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 124 Content Per Day: 0.05 Reputation: 95 Days Won: 0 Joined: 04/16/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted July 1, 2017 (edited) Remember telling your husband: Satan has no power over a Christian. Everything he can do to a Christian is inserting bad thoughts in his head. The devil is a liar. Edited July 1, 2017 by mat007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts