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Self centered, discouraging and frustrating.


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As many of you know, I'm in a nursing home for extended rehab.

I am finally seeing daylight, as I have a discharge date of August 1st.

But here's the kicker - the only thing I can afford to do when going home is move back in with my mom and brother. My brother is completely self centered and doesn't want his "life disrupted" by me needing occasional help. My mom is also being discouraging and negative. Its frustrating to say the least. My mom and brother insist on deciding for me on what will happen, which is ridiculous.

When I get home, I will have home health and other services, so its not like my family will be that burdened. Besides, I'm able to do allot on my own. I've been working with the staff here to achieve as much independence as I can.

Its possible I can make other living arrangements, but I'm not sure I can afford it.

Any suggestions?

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Praying~!

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Praying for you! I suppose they're not Christians? The Bible is pretty clear on what it thinks of those who don't care for their parents/family members. Have you tried sitting down with them and just simply discussing it at length? Do you have a local church body that can help?

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9 hours ago, Steve_ said:

As many of you know, I'm in a nursing home for extended rehab.

I am finally seeing daylight, as I have a discharge date of August 1st.

But here's the kicker - the only thing I can afford to do when going home is move back in with my mom and brother. My brother is completely self centered and doesn't want his "life disrupted" by me needing occasional help. My mom is also being discouraging and negative. Its frustrating to say the least. My mom and brother insist on deciding for me on what will happen, which is ridiculous.

When I get home, I will have home health and other services, so its not like my family will be that burdened. Besides, I'm able to do allot on my own. I've been working with the staff here to achieve as much independence as I can.

Its possible I can make other living arrangements, but I'm not sure I can afford it.

Any suggestions?

Hi Steve,

I sympathize with you, however it is good that help is available. Not pleasant being invalid or getting older. Now as to your brother and mother I think they need their fears allayed, as all they can see is disruption and them having to do more work etc. They need to understand that you will not burden them and will not expect them to wait on you etc. Communication that is clear will help smooth the way considerably bro.

regards, Marilyn.

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Hi Steve,

On the positive note, you're getting better enough to be discharged .

About your family situation with your mother and brother?

Well it could have been the same in any other family dynamics like spouse and children. Dis function in families has many dynamic forms

Not in many  families does it run all so smoothly even in Christians ones as everybody is on their own personal spiritual growth curve.

Living in assisted living also has its drawbacks.

And living alone, while you will perhaps find more peace and tranquility (maybe not, you may get some problematic neighbors) there is going to be the issue of accepting a new lifestyle that living alone can entail. This needs to be thought through carefully

But if your current living situation with your mother and brother  is  negative 24/7, then perhaps looking and planning for other accommodations may be the best and  more peaceful solution for all concerned.

Also living alone, you will most likely discover parts of yourself you were not fully aware of. it can also bring you closer to God as you may have more time to reflect .

The thing to remember is that leaving a living situation that you have been so used to, even if it is for the better, may take some adjustments.

The best thing to do is pray about it to the Lord, ask Him for guidance. He will respond to your heart as to what is best for you to do.

Sometimes  circumstances beyond our say or control, make for us to change our living situation. Like a sudden death in the family.

It is always good to keep a realistic perspective.

Is making a change in where you live a better thing to do now? or would it be better for you if you wait for circumstances beyond, to force you make to make a change?

These need to be brought to the Lord in prayer and wait on Him to answer your heart.

Remember always:Romans 8:28King James Version (KJV)

28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Philippians 4:6

6 Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; 7 and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

 

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praying 

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Hi Steve ... hope you don't mind that I moved your thread to where you can get only Christian advice. 

As for your situation, I am sure you have coordinators that can help you decide what will be best for you, and since you have a couple of months to do so, I suggest you start now.  I am not sure where you live, but there usually is some help for people on limited income that have disabilities.  Praying doors open for you.

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1to3

Thanks. I was married and living with my wife up until a year ago.

Going back to my mom's is backtracking, but I don't have many financial options.

The facility I'm in is going to intervene.

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God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
Oh, God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today
Oh, God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
By a roadway in the wilderness, He'll lead me
And rivers in the desert will I see
Heaven and Earth will fade but His Word will still remain
And He will do something new today
Oh, God will make a way
Where there seems to be no way
He works in ways we cannot see
He will make a way for me
He will be my guide
Hold me closely to His side
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way
With love and strength for each new day
He will make a way, He will make a way

Steve, God will make a way , put your trust in Him and He will take care of you,you're never alone ! You're His child and He cares for you !  Praying..

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Praying.

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