Jump to content
IGNORED

Why do some professing Christians seem cold?


Gemstone777

Recommended Posts


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  18
  • Topic Count:  8
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  7,778
  • Content Per Day:  2.42
  • Reputation:   2,730
  • Days Won:  3
  • Joined:  06/05/2015
  • Status:  Offline

1 hour ago, Yowm said:

How are you defining love?

I would like to have your input on this one, cince I don't have dictionaries and I am on an iPhone. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  0
  • Topic Count:  32
  • Topics Per Day:  0.01
  • Content Count:  861
  • Content Per Day:  0.35
  • Reputation:   644
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  07/19/2017
  • Status:  Offline

5 hours ago, Redemption79 said:

hello

if you outgoing social person, i don't see how you would struggle to make loyal friends who cares about you in the Church.

unless you are attending a wrong church.

i personally think and i could be wrong, that church preaches prosperity gospel tends to drawn people there for the wrong reason, so can church there are dead in the sense that it is religious and no longer has the Spirit in them

or could  it be your circumstances, i do think as one get older, if you are still single, then yes, it is hard to make friends as nobody want a third wheel.

 

Hi Redemption,

I think there is a misunderstanding that if people are outgoing, social that they can easily make deep friendships.  Many people are drawn to this personality type, but it can lead to a lot of surface relationships with many people and not the deep, authentic relationships that I desire.  In essence it equals lots of acquaintances but very true friends.   By the way, my husband and others tell me that I don't know a stranger, so it's not for me lacking investing in others and showing them love.  

Also, what I didn't share previously is that I've had many years of chronic health issues (nearly 20 years) that have gotten progressively worse, so I'm not always healthy enough to be out of the house as much.  Being kept inside more often (I am an outdoor person,) further makes the hermit a more easy possibility.  It's not just singles or introverts that have trouble making friends.  I do have some extra challenges with my health, and not having kids.  Most people my age have kids and some are even starting to have grandchildren.  To me though, in the body of Christ are marital status, age, race, etc. shouldn't matter because we have the most important thing in common (Christ) that should bond us together.  

I also think that although we have quick access to people through internet, cell phones, and social media that people are less connected on a deeper level, or at least that has been my experience.  People tend to keep themselves very busy too and don't always make the time needed to develop deep relationships.  

Also, My church is a predominantly elderly, and a conservative church and I'm in my early 40's.  Although I don't mind fellowship with people of all ages, some people only wish to hang out with people their own age.  People also have already established friendships, and when you're the new one to your church (less than 2 years,) it's hard to find where you fit in.  

My church is a Bible believing church, and friendly, just hard to make deeper relationships.  I wasn't specifically referring to my church, but the Universal Church of all Christ followers.  I'm not looking for a church just to meet my needs, but church in part is for the edification of the saints, and I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting to be encouraged, supported, and loved.  I serve and use my gifts, and I do it without expecting anything in return.  We are like pitchers though, and if we are constantly pouring into others without our pitchers being replenished, we can run dry and then be no good for service to the Lord and others.  By the way, my husband was a pastor, so I am formerly a pastor's wife and know all about servitude and what is required.  

I agree that some churches can draw people as more of a social club and for wrong motives.  It's not a wrong motive to want to be deeply connected to your brothers and sisters in Christ.  It's not a wrong motive to want all believers to be a loving, holy example to a dark world that needs to see the love of Jesus in all of us.  

  Thanks for sharing your thoughts! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  53
  • Topics Per Day:  0.02
  • Content Count:  2,373
  • Content Per Day:  0.87
  • Reputation:   1,490
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/05/2016
  • Status:  Offline

On 7/19/2017 at 1:51 AM, gemstone777 said:

I'm a social, outgoing person.  I used to find it easier to make friends.  I'm finding it harder to find loyal, loving, genuine friendships as I get older. This is making me want to pull away from others and become a hermit.  I know God has called all of us to love others, and I do, but I want to love them from a distance.  I see the ugliness in the world, and it makes my heart sad.  I don't see how truly loving believers can treat people the way they sometimes do.  I want to continue to love others, but I don't want to allow others to hurt me, or watch them hurt others.  Some wisdom, Scriptures, and prayers would be most helpful, thanks!

Could you give one practical example of how believers treat people as to your statement?.     Just want to see the kind of resentment you are speaking about .   

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service
  • Followers:  1
  • Topic Count:  3
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  430
  • Content Per Day:  0.17
  • Reputation:   131
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  06/20/2017
  • Status:  Offline

13 hours ago, warrior12 said:

Could you give one practical example of how believers treat people as to your statement?.     Just want to see the kind of resentment you are speaking about .   

There is no resentment in this persons reply.  I'm surprised you can't tell how this person feels without prodding at their 'resentment.'

"I'm a social, outgoing person.  I used to find it easier to make friends.  I'm finding it harder to find loyal, loving, genuine friendships as I get older. This is making me want to pull away from others and become a hermit.  I know God has called all of us to love others, and I do, but I want to love them from a distance.  I see the ugliness in the world, and it makes my heart sad.  I don't see how truly loving believers can treat people the way they sometimes do.  I want to continue to love others, but I don't want to allow others to hurt me, or watch them hurt others.  Some wisdom, Scriptures, and prayers would be most helpful, thanks!"

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Maybe Christians on the forum could use better words to express themselves.  

RESENTMENT...

bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.

I feel the very same way this person does.  I'm older and very tired of Christians PERIOD!  READ what the person SAID!  You don't need any more of an explanation!  

1.   I'm finding it harder to find loyal, loving, genuine friendships as I get older.

2.  This is making me want to pull away from others and become a hermit.

3.  I know God has called all of us to love others, and I do, but I want to love them from a distance.

4.  I see the ugliness in the world, and it makes my heart sad

5.  I don't see how truly loving believers can treat people the way they sometimes do.  I want to continue to love others, but I don't want to allow others to hurt me, or watch them hurt others.

I'm in the same situation.  I've distanced myself from CHRISTIANS because they're NO GOOD! They do NOTHING for my walk with Christ.  All they ever do is undermine it.  They have NOTHING good to say about ME/people.  They are even more difficult to become friends wih than unbelievers.  I like being ALONE away from their self-righteous, holier than thou, "we don't make mistakes" attitude.  I don't like being friends with Christians because they impose their convictions on everyone else and then condemn you for believing different. I have trouble loving Christians even from a distance.  I've been crapped on so many times by PASTORS (which I use to be) that I'm about ready to dump the entire religion of Christianity with all the messed up people in it.  I see ugliness in the world too.  Much of it in the followers of Jesus Christ, and it makes me sad that I have to get away from such people to maintain my 'sobriety.' And most of all...

When I read some of the wonderful, loving replies by people here I get sick to my stomach.  On one reply they're so sweet and they talk about God's love and compassion  Then on another, usually because their beliefs have been seriously challenged or opposed, they say all sorts of derogatory things about you and even condemn people. 

Christianity, It's just not what it use to be even 30-40 years ago.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Royal Member
  • Followers:  8
  • Topic Count:  59
  • Topics Per Day:  0.01
  • Content Count:  4,402
  • Content Per Day:  0.99
  • Reputation:   2,154
  • Days Won:  28
  • Joined:  02/10/2012
  • Status:  Offline
  • Birthday:  04/26/1971

On 7/19/2017 at 1:51 AM, gemstone777 said:

I'm a social, outgoing person.  I used to find it easier to make friends.  I'm finding it harder to find loyal, loving, genuine friendships as I get older. This is making me want to pull away from others and become a hermit.  I know God has called all of us to love others, and I do, but I want to love them from a distance.  I see the ugliness in the world, and it makes my heart sad.  I don't see how truly loving believers can treat people the way they sometimes do.  I want to continue to love others, but I don't want to allow others to hurt me, or watch them hurt others.  Some wisdom, Scriptures, and prayers would be most helpful, thanks!

Just because I professed Christ didn't mean I knew him.  It only meant that I heard, believed and began to start following.  Consider those who believed yet had not received the spirit yet.  They needed the gospel of God preached to them to its fullness.  

We live in sorely troubled times.  People are lovers of their own selves.  I can be guilty if not careful.  I go about my day seeking to do the will of God.  I ask him to fill me with the spirit because Jesus said the Father gives the spirit to them that ask him.  Then I seek to pour out his spirit upon the lost, sick and the dying.  According to Paul these can be Christians.  Those who take the Lords supper in an unworthy manner become sick or even die.

I have watched God bring athiests to faith then begin his work of progressive sanctification in them.  Truly amazing transformations.

When I first was saved, I was a Romans 1 reprobate.  Next, as a Christian, I became a Romans 2 self righteous man who despised the grace of God.  I later transformed into the Romans 3 teacher of the word who touched not one of the very virtues I taught!  By tge grace of God I was brought to a higher level of sanctification and have repented of those sinful ways.

If I am looking at them and how their behaviors affect me then 'self' is alive and well.  I need to pray that God will help me pick up my cross, die to myself and follow Jesus for even today sometimes I become 'alive' and sin revives then I become one of the walking dead hurt by everything that another does that affects my 'self'.

Come Lord Jesus!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  53
  • Topics Per Day:  0.02
  • Content Count:  2,373
  • Content Per Day:  0.87
  • Reputation:   1,490
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/05/2016
  • Status:  Offline

57 minutes ago, fixerupper said:

Maybe Christians on the forum could use better words to express themselves.  

RESENTMENT...

bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.

I think that person can speak for themselves in a reply of their own.  The word resentment, may not have been appropriate in the context that i used it, but it was not meant as the way you took it.  I was merely seeking for an example to see what actions Christians carry out, do or perform that makes them want to "pull away" as the OP has said.  You used the meaning as in your quote, but words do have multiple meaning as below.   So then i choose another one from below.   dissastisfaction or discontent.   How's that, hope it satisfies you and if not, don't hesitate, let me know. 

re·sent·ment
rəˈzentmənt/
noun
 
  1. bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
    "his resentment at being demoted"
    synonyms: bitterness, indignation, irritation, pique, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, discontentment, discontent, resentfulness, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill will, acrimony, rancor, animosity, jaundice; More

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service
  • Followers:  1
  • Topic Count:  3
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  430
  • Content Per Day:  0.17
  • Reputation:   131
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  06/20/2017
  • Status:  Offline

7 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

I think that person can speak for themselves in a reply of their own.  The word resentment, may not have been appropriate in the context that i used it, but it was not meant as the way you took it.  I was merely seeking for an example to see what actions Christians carry out, do or perform that makes them want to "pull away" as the OP has said.  You used the meaning as in your quote, but words do have multiple meaning as below.   So then i choose another one from below.   dissastisfaction or discontent.   How's that, hope it satisfies you and if not, don't hesitate, let me know. 

re·sent·ment
rəˈzentmənt/
noun
 
  1. bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly.
    "his resentment at being demoted"
    synonyms: bitterness, indignation, irritation, pique, dissatisfaction, disgruntlement, discontentment, discontent, resentfulness, bad feelings, hard feelings, ill will, acrimony, rancor, animosity, jaundice; More

 

I hear you.  Sorry.  I need to chill out.  I was actually more interested in expressing how I feel the same way as gemstone.  

My bad experiences with Church, esp. pastors, and my obsessed with himself Pentecostal cousin of a pastor has a lot to do with my bad perception of Christians, and so do the churches in my neighborhood.  And I'm not going to put much time into explaining why!

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  53
  • Topics Per Day:  0.02
  • Content Count:  2,373
  • Content Per Day:  0.87
  • Reputation:   1,490
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/05/2016
  • Status:  Offline

17 minutes ago, fixerupper said:

I hear you.  Sorry.  I need to chill out.  I was actually more interested in expressing how I feel the same way as gemstone.  

My bad experiences with Church, esp. pastors, and my obsessed with himself Pentecostal cousin of a pastor has a lot to do with my bad perception of Christians, and so do the churches in my neighborhood.  And I'm not going to put much time into explaining why!

You see for yourself, you really do not have all that animosity against Christians as i am one too.   I wrote a few lines, but hit some button and it got all erased.   I think you have to come to terms in casting snares on every christian as there are many many wonderful believers doing the Lord work out there helping and doing things  that no one sees.  I take each case as i see it, just as i meet new people in life.   Sometimes ,we have to weed out the tares as it hinders.  Complicated,but we have to work at it and see the bigger picture of the gospel teachings.   You are a learned person fixerupper and i pray that those hard feelings would dissipate.   

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Removed from Forums for Breaking Terms of Service
  • Followers:  1
  • Topic Count:  3
  • Topics Per Day:  0.00
  • Content Count:  430
  • Content Per Day:  0.17
  • Reputation:   131
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  06/20/2017
  • Status:  Offline

9 minutes ago, warrior12 said:

You see for yourself, you really do not have all that animosity against Christians as i am one too.   I wrote a few lines, but hit some button and it got all erased.   I think you have to come to terms in casting snares on every christian as there are many many wonderful believers doing the Lord work out there helping and doing things  that no one sees.  I take each case as i see it, just as i meet new people in life.   Sometimes ,we have to weed out the tares as it hinders.  Complicated,but we have to work at it and see the bigger picture of the gospel teachings.   You are a learned person fixerupper and i pray that those hard feelings would dissipate.   

And I hear you again.  The time is coming though when most of the bad stuff in Chrstianity will subside....I hope anyway.  There are many doing the Lords work that we don't see, it's the ones we do see that are the bad ones who's tables need to turned over.  I believe God is disappointed in His Church, but the time is coming when that will change.

Link to comment
Share on other sites


  • Group:  Diamond Member
  • Followers:  5
  • Topic Count:  53
  • Topics Per Day:  0.02
  • Content Count:  2,373
  • Content Per Day:  0.87
  • Reputation:   1,490
  • Days Won:  0
  • Joined:  10/05/2016
  • Status:  Offline

35 minutes ago, fixerupper said:

And I hear you again.  The time is coming though when most of the bad stuff in Chrstianity will subside....I hope anyway.  There are many doing the Lords work that we don't see, it's the ones we do see that are the bad ones who's tables need to turned over.  I believe God is disappointed in His Church, but the time is coming when that will change.

We also have to remind ourselves that God is in control and has always been.  We have to do our part in being that candle on the lamp stand and it not being under the bed.  We also have to look at the example of that great story of the Prodigal son.  It is one that for some is not easy to digest, but nevertheless shows that people can change and come to hearing.  If we loose our ability to forgive and show compassion, then we just joined the crowd.   We seek to learn a little each day and that's why we are here.  

Edited by warrior12
Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...