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belief in Jesus


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As of now I'm not sure if I believe, but I don't want to die like that.  Any advice?

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Yes. Read the gospels. All four. Several times each. And keep reading them until such time as you are sure. Eventually you will discover, if you want to, that fear of death is not a valid reason for love. You will discover that the character and nature of God is all the reason you need to fall head over heels in love with Him and be willing to die rather than offend Him. 

It will always be your choice...no-one here can decide for you. 

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