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Friends moving on in life......


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A single  friend  told me  about her circle of friends. They woukd have known/hung out for  years but as time progressed, alot of the members have gotten married some to each other She is now one of the few singles  left and she realised  that  in some cases (not all)the couples have started to go out together  but not invite her. I told her that that that was a sign for her to start looking for a new circle of friends. I'm not saying to cut them  off as friends but find new people to hang  with who won't exclude you.

I'm wondering now, was that advice too savage or completely justified?

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I think it would depend on the people and the situation.  

I'm 70 and seeing the other end of that where someone's spouse dies and the person is alone.....   I would never ever allow my friends to leave that person out of an established group without a fuss.

 

There is a chance of hurt in doing so, but I personally would confront them and ask why they are no longer inviting that person.  It may be that they don't understand the needs of the single person...   they might even be thinking that the single person might feel awkward around the married people and don't want to put her on the spot asking....   there are way too many possibilities.

People loose relationships when they stop talking....         so if the relationship is important the person should talk to her friends about it.   Then start with a different group of friends if not included......    and I would think the first group were not real friends, just someone to hang out with if they don't include the person.

 

That is just my personal view with so little information.

 

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1 hour ago, creativemechanic said:

A single  friend  told me  about her circle of friends. They woukd have known/hung out for  years but as time progressed, alot of the members have gotten married some to each other She is now one of the few singles  left and she realised  that  in some cases (not all)the couples have started to go out together  but not invite her. I told her that that that was a sign for her to start looking for a new circle of friends. I'm not saying to cut them  off as friends but find new people to hang  with who won't exclude you.

I'm wondering now, was that advice too savage or completely justified?

Hey Creative,

It is interesting that you mention this, as I have seen it happen at times, often unintentionally. Where as friends get married, they hang out with other married couples. If your friend is seeing that she is being left out, it may not be intentional. So, keeping in touch with them, while allowing herself the opportunity to find new friends, is a great idea. Even if they were in a situation where she did find herself included, I think it is still a good idea to keep open to making new friends and meeting new people. It keeps life interesting :) Blessings 

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