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Daughter of God

Need MASSIVE Prayers to stay on God's Path

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Praying for you...please keep this verse in your heart. If you are lost and need direction, look to God

Proverbs 3:5-6

Trust in the Lord with all your heart,
And lean not on your own understanding;
 In all your ways acknowledge Him,
And He shall direct your paths.

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Thank you. I'm very sick at the moment, and it's hard to pray, or even make myself read the Bible. I'm trying to trust what God has shown me about focusing on the light instead of the dark. To stop worrying about money -- I desperately want to go back home to the US, but I might be wiped clean if I don't stay at least 6 more weeks. Then I'll have peanuts.

Staying 3 months (what they want, as stated in the contract) seems extremely daunting. I don't see how I can physically do this job that much longer, or even 6 weeks, but...we'll see. I'm desperately trying to keep the faith, and keep hope burning. Please pray that I see it through this time, and reach God's path for me -- and stay on it!

God bless.

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3 hours ago, Daughter of God said:

Thank you. I'm very sick at the moment, and it's hard to pray, or even make myself read the Bible. I'm trying to trust what God has shown me about focusing on the light instead of the dark. To stop worrying about money -- I desperately want to go back home to the US, but I might be wiped clean if I don't stay at least 6 more weeks. Then I'll have peanuts.

Staying 3 months (what they want, as stated in the contract) seems extremely daunting. I don't see how I can physically do this job that much longer, or even 6 weeks, but...we'll see. I'm desperately trying to keep the faith, and keep hope burning. Please pray that I see it through this time, and reach God's path for me -- and stay on it!

God bless.

Praying!!

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Praying.

How's everything going now?

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My sickness is up and down like a rollercoaster. The fever, the sinus infection, everything. I'm still not eating or sleeping enough. I saw the doctor today, and she said my throat is infected, too, and that it looks like the infection is just getting started, not ending its course.

She said I need to come back tomorrow to take a flu shot or else try my luck with antibiotics or acetaminophen again if my OTC medicine doesn't bring my fever down by then. I'm praying, because antibiotics severely messed up my system a few years ago, and I haven't been able to tolerate them since. And I'm not supposed to take blood-thinning agents like acetaminophen because I have heart issues. 

I can't stomach the thought of returning to work, either. Especially with my system in recovery. It might just wear me right back down to zero, and make me very sick again. I was outright loopy yesterday. My contract says I can't miss more than three unauthorized days, though, and this is unauthorized (unscheduled).

Other than that...I'm still worrying about money, terrified of walking by faith to what God has promised, and not trusting Him. :( Hope is guttering low again, but I've been keeping the window open while the rain is falling -- by entertaining my worst fears, throwing up imaginary obstacles that I've used as excuses to procrastinate. 

I'm so scared that there's just no hope for me. Spiritually or otherwise. I'm just in so much pain, and my psychological and physical health is so messed up, that I can neither think straight nor muster the focus and willpower to avoid sin and practice virtue. I'm praying that God will bring the right people into my life, because I don't think I can do this alone. I'm also praying that He'll close the wrong doors and open the right ones. Living from fear is what got me into this mess. I can't seem to find the courage to live by faith, though.

Edited by Daughter of God
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Continued prayers

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7 hours ago, Daughter of God said:

My sickness is up and down like a rollercoaster. The fever, the sinus infection, everything. I'm still not eating or sleeping enough. I saw the doctor today, and she said my throat is infected, too, and that it looks like the infection is just getting started, not ending its course.

She said I need to come back tomorrow to take a flu shot or else try my luck with antibiotics or acetaminophen again if my OTC medicine doesn't bring my fever down by then. I'm praying, because antibiotics severely messed up my system a few years ago, and I haven't been able to tolerate them since. And I'm not supposed to take blood-thinning agents like acetaminophen because I have heart issues. 

I can't stomach the thought of returning to work, either. Especially with my system in recovery. It might just wear me right back down to zero, and make me very sick again. I was outright loopy yesterday. My contract says I can't miss more than three unauthorized days, though, and this is unauthorized (unscheduled).

Other than that...I'm still worrying about money, terrified of walking by faith to what God has promised, and not trusting Him. :( Hope is guttering low again, but I've been keeping the window open while the rain is falling -- by entertaining my worst fears, throwing up imaginary obstacles that I've used as excuses to procrastinate. 

I'm so scared that there's just no hope for me. Spiritually or otherwise. I'm just in so much pain, and my psychological and physical health is so messed up, that I can neither think straight nor muster the focus and willpower to avoid sin and practice virtue. I'm praying that God will bring the right people into my life, because I don't think I can do this alone. I'm also praying that He'll close the wrong doors and open the right ones. Living from fear is what got me into this mess. I can't seem to find the courage to live by faith, though.

Praying.

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Thanks for your prayers. I'm getting better taking penicillin and an anti-inflammatory enzyme, and my system is handling them just fine. I'll need to buy more tomorrow, but I'm trying my luck going to work again, too. *Fingers crossed.*

I really experienced God's presence again today, for the first time in...years, probably. It's not as powerful as it once was, maybe, but it's still with me. 

And it's so different from the spirits I've been messing around with. I promised to forsake Catholicism, and put away some of the idols I've had around. I'll leave them at the church maybe?

I guess I need to find a new one, too. Hopefully one that speaks English this time. And that I can get to on foot, since cab drivers almost never do, and I've yet to risk the buses here. 

But this God is actually powerful. And responsive. I've asked him to handle everything -- all my concerns about money, survival, health, isolation. Etc.

I still really want to go home, and I've asked God to show me where to go next. I need a nice place where I can actually find community at church, and where I can realistically hope to find a decent part-time job. (I can't physically handle full-time right now. Even my last Stateside job was grueling.)

And, probably, where I can get started with minimal start-up funds; I doubt I'll stay here much longer. I need to give them some notice, though, and hopefully I can recoup some money working until they find a replacement for me. Still dreading that conversation, though. 

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14 hours ago, Daughter of God said:

Thanks for your prayers. I'm getting better taking penicillin and an anti-inflammatory enzyme, and my system is handling them just fine. I'll need to buy more tomorrow, but I'm trying my luck going to work again, too. *Fingers crossed.*

I really experienced God's presence again today, for the first time in...years, probably. It's not as powerful as it once was, maybe, but it's still with me. 

And it's so different from the spirits I've been messing around with. I promised to forsake Catholicism, and put away some of the idols I've had around. I'll leave them at the church maybe?

I guess I need to find a new one, too. Hopefully one that speaks English this time. And that I can get to on foot, since cab drivers almost never do, and I've yet to risk the buses here. 

But this God is actually powerful. And responsive. I've asked him to handle everything -- all my concerns about money, survival, health, isolation. Etc.

I still really want to go home, and I've asked God to show me where to go next. I need a nice place where I can actually find community at church, and where I can realistically hope to find a decent part-time job. (I can't physically handle full-time right now. Even my last Stateside job was grueling.)

And, probably, where I can get started with minimal start-up funds; I doubt I'll stay here much longer. I need to give them some notice, though, and hopefully I can recoup some money working until they find a replacement for me. Still dreading that conversation, though. 

Praying.

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