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Adultery- Should You tell your wife or husband, before ask God for forgiveness?


Ogner

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On 8/28/2017 at 9:13 AM, other one said:

no and yes.

I dont agree with that. There is a good reason why the bible tells us to confess your faults one unto another. Its because confessing the wrongs you have done is so painful to do, that makes you unlikely to commit that sin again.

Also husbands and wives should not hide anything from each other. After all the pain of this sin is going to eat away at your heart and soul and it will all come out in the end eventually anyway

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1 hour ago, TheMatrixHasU71 said:

I dont agree with that. There is a good reason why the bible tells us to confess your faults one unto another. Its because confessing the wrongs you have done is so painful to do, that makes you unlikely to commit that sin again.

Also husbands and wives should not hide anything from each other. After all the pain of this sin is going to eat away at your heart and soul and it will all come out in the end eventually anyway

In the Lord's timing. He doesn't blind side us. Or let us slap each other in the face. Love protects. A person that cheats has been hiding there sin in darkness already and is selfish and self decieved. It says to confess our sin to one another that we maybe healed. It doesn't say crush the person your sinning against and wound their mortal soul and destroy your family with your carnality. We have elders and the Lord to lead us and to confess to restore us to a right mind and spirit. Your spouse is not your Lord or the Holy Spirit and may not be a mature christian with enough fruit or strength to survive you infidelity. If you didn't obey and confess being drawn away before you sinned for healing dont think the devil wont use your sin after the fact to kill steal and destroy. confess to the elders and be restored and let the Lord expose all the things you hid in darkness to light of truth that you might save yourself from the devils snare.

I totally disagree with your theology and use of that scripture. I went down this path with an adultrous husband 28 years. He would cry and confess to me and beg me to forgive him and sit in church on sunday with a smile and his sin hidden from the pastor and congergation and let everyone tell me how blessed I was to have such a loving husband and family. Do you have any idea of the destruction Satan can do in your soul? I spent 28 years on my knees fighting bitter roots and hatred to walk in Love. He finally filed for divorce and married one of his mistresses. Who he cheated on and confessed to and ripped apart and went to church with and smiled. She called me after 8 years and apologised for her adultry after he filed for divorce from her to marry a new mistress. That is not how you are healed by confessing and that is not what the scripture is instructing you to do.

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To have a wife who cheated on husband, hides a secret like this and who lie to him
And who say: God can give dispensations for anything... 

That is something I wouldn't wish on anyone.

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Having seen this situation up close and personal I can assure you that even thought the offending spouse has confessed his/her sin to the Lord he/she has still committed a grievous sin against their spouse and must ask for their forgiveness as well. And then you allow that person to decide how they will take the information. Sometimes there is reconciliation and sometimes there is not. But to hide it from your spouse and not tell them will only eat at that person. And folks regardless of how much you hide your sin will eventually find you out whether you say it out loud to your spouse or your spouse finds out after you pass away. 

When you tell the spouse is a totally different matter though. If you love your spouse you will tell them when the time is right. But folks the person who committed adultery should be the one who tells the spouse not the spouse finding out. Sure trust will be broken and scars will be there but if the spouse is willing to forgive and to grow from the situation you have an awesome spouse. But if your spouse decides to leave well that is part of the consequence of the cheating persons selfishness and sin. 

Bottom line, stay true to your spouse as God has intended and you will be totally fine and not have to worry about this stuff or wonder what you will do if it happens. 

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