My Marriage & Divorce Testimony

[Amazing Horse]

Your Father which is in heaven forgive you eternity Hell and even made you being able to be joined together inside of God with his spirit , and you can't forgive one human being ? That sound like you are too pride to admit it .

Matthew 18:21-22

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

 Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.

 

The prophet Hosea was commanded by God to marry an unfaithful wife who was harlot .

Hosea 1:2

Sometimes we need to bear with bad things that happen in life . It's not for you to judge somebody , but God will judge you both at Judgement Seat Christ , let him be the judge . 2 Corinthians 5:10

 

For God if you told a lie you are just as bad as somebody who murder  , because if you commit one crime you are guilty of breaking all laws  James 2:10 . Since God forgive you all of your bad works , then you might consider forgiving her . Looks like you did everything that you could , she failed to do her job .

 

Also things like depression , anxiety , OCD or some eating disorder do not exist , your wife was probably not saved Christian and that's why she acted like that . Did you preach gospel of salvation to her ? 1 Corinthians 15:1-4 . Did she know that she has eternal life and is secured by God ? Or did you simply go to church from time to time untill this mariage broken apart ?

 

 

Edited September 7, 2017 by Amazing Horse

[DesertSW]

“Government statistics and a wealth of other research data have shown that co-habitation increases the likelihood of divorce, yet cohabiting is growing in popularity. "

The theory that dating for a long time and then even living together will reduce the likelihood of divorce is a falsehood. Studies show that living together before marriage will actually increase the chances of divorce.

 

[Guest]

16 minutes ago, DesertSW said:

Studies show that living together before marriage will actually increase the chances of divorce.

Yes indeed. It is because God ordains marriage . God created sex between a man and woman within the institution of marriage this all else outside of the bounds of marriage is iniquity to God. It is stench to his nostrils. 

When a couple does as the world does; they do not have blessings and "coverage" from God but they have turned their relationship over to satan and turned their sex life over to satan. Satan is the prince of lies. He came to kill,steal and destroy. 

He does a pretty good job at it. He has had over 2000 yrs to perfect his craft.  When we are a rebellious people;we reap death and our lives are a hot mess! 

[Guest Butero]

All we can do is look at where you are today.  Your wife left you and got a divorce.  You didn't want the divorce, but she wasn't willing to go to counseling or do anything to try to save your marriage.  There was nothing you could do.  You love her, but she was very hard to live with, and you were always there for her.  You say you have no bad feelings towards her, but I can see that you do from your very long 3 part post.  I am not saying that as an insult.  I am just making an observation.  

Kwik made a point that is important.  She mentioned how you said you will never trust Christians again.  Why just Christians?  You surely don't trust sinners over Christians?  People change.  You have no control over that.  Some start out serving God and later stop.  Others live a sinful life and become a Christian and never turn away from God.  You shouldn't place too much trust in people.  They will often let you down.  I have had to deal with betrayals.  

I understand where you are coming from.  What I do is give people the benefit of the doubt.  I trust them till they show me they cannot be trusted.  I don't hold the actions of one person against everyone I will meet in the future.  If I have a bad experience with a person who is Hispanic or African American, I don't suddenly look at everyone of those races as bad.  If I have a bad experience with someone that belongs to a church down the street, I don't assume everyone in that church is bad.  Why look at all Christians as untrustworthy because of the bad experience you had with some Christians?  That isn't logical and it is not fair to others.  

My advise is that you really forgive your ex-wife, and stop looking at the negative side of things.  If things are as you said, you are better off now that she is gone.  You are no longer responsible for her.  They say the grass is greener on the other side.  She is on the other side now, and she has to live with the consequences of her actions.  I am going to give you a passage of scripture that I hope will help you to move on.  

"If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.  And the woman which hath a husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him."  1 Corinthians 7:12,13  

You have done this, and she did not obey scripture.  Here is the counsel of God...

"But if the unbelieving depart, LET HIM DEPART."  In this case, let her depart.  "A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases:  but God hath called us to peace."  1 Corinthians 7:15  

Just let the unbeliever go and move on.  You are free.  You are not in bondage in such cases.  That is pretty plain.  Count your blessings and move on.  In saying that, once again, you can't really move on until you forgive her, so make up your mind to do that.  Stop thinking about her betrayal, and look at the good side.  She did you bad, and now you are free from her.  She did you a favor.  

I do realize there are two sides to every story, and I haven't heard her side, so I am going only by what you have said, so my advise is based on your testimony alone.  

[DesertSW]

5 hours ago, Butero said:

All we can do is look at where you are today.  Your wife left you and got a divorce.  You didn't want the divorce, but she wasn't willing to go to counseling or do anything to try to save your marriage.  There was nothing you could do.  You love her, but she was very hard to live with, and you were always there for her. 

Kwik made a point that is important.  She mentioned how you said you will never trust Christians again.  Why just Christians?  You surely don't trust sinners over Christians?  People change.  

 Just let the unbeliever go and move on.  You are free.  You are not in bondage in such cases.  That is pretty plain.  Count your blessings and move on.  In saying that, once again, you can't really move on until you forgive her, so make up your mind to do that.  Stop thinking about her betrayal, and look at the good side.  She did you bad, and now you are free from her.  She did you a favor.  

I do realize there are two sides to every story, and I haven't heard her side, so I am going only by what you have said, so my advise is based on your testimony alone.  

I will have a very hard time trusting anyone, whether Christian or non. I'm in my 40's now and I had a few large betrayals by other Christians prior to this and the divorce was kind of the final straw. I'm just burned out on these Christian betrayals.

Will I ever get remarried? Nope. Both for Biblical reasons (ex-wife is still alive) and I'm in my early 40's and finding a spouse that doesn't have kids or some type of baggage is impossible. Plus most importantly, I just will never trust a Christian (or any person) fully again. I've been burned way too many times and I am just tired and done with it.

The thing is that my wife was NOT an "unbeliever", she was a believer. That's a major point.

The divorce wiped me financially & emotionally. I basically have to start over in my life at 43 years of age. Not easy to do. When you are 23 or 33, starting over is doable but now it's just so daunting.

The only family I had was my wife and her in-laws. I have no other family. My dad is dead and my mom is estranged (long story - she is Roman Catholic). That's it. No other family around. The divorce made me not only lose my wife but the only family I had. Last Christmas I sat alone at home eating french fries from McDonalds with a stuffed bear. Sad, pathetic, depressing but true.

All because a Christian women & wife chose to violate her vows, violate God's Word and chose divorce.

 

 

[Guest Butero]

2 minutes ago, DesertSW said:

I will have a very hard time trusting anyone, whether Christian or non. I'm in my 40's now and I had a few large betrayals by other Christians prior to this and the divorce was kind of the final straw. I'm just burned out on these Christian betrayals.

Will I ever get remarried? Nope. Both for Biblical reasons (ex-wife is still alive) and I'm in my early 40's and finding a spouse that doesn't have kids or some type of baggage is impossible. Plus most importantly, I just will never trust a Christian (or any person) fully again. I've been burned way too many times and I am just tired and done with it.

The thing is that my wife was NOT an "unbeliever", she was a believer. That's a major point.

The divorce wiped me financially & emotionally. I basically have to start over in my life at 43 years of age. Not easy to do. When you are 23 or 33, starting over is doable but now it's just so daunting.

The only family I had was my wife and her in-laws. I have no other family. My dad is dead and my mom is estranged (long story - she is Roman Catholic). That's it. No other family around. The divorce made me not only lose my wife but the only family I had. Last Christmas I sat alone at home eating french fries from McDonalds with a stuffed bear. Sad, pathetic, depressing but true.

All because a Christian women & wife chose to violate her vows, violate God's Word and chose divorce.

 

 

There are people that are professing Christians, and there are people that are real Christians.  Her behavior is anything but Christian, based on what you said.  I would consider her an unbeliever, but given how you feel, it is probably best you remain single.  I hate that you were left all alone as a result of the divorce.  I don't see how she can justify what she did if she is still claiming to be a Christian.  

[hmbld]

What happens TO us matters less than how we choose to respond.  

1 John 4New King James Version (NKJV)

Knowing God Through Love

7 Beloved, let us love one another, for love is of God; and everyone who loves is born of God and knows God. 8 He who does not love does not know God, for God is love. 9 In this the love of God was manifested toward us, that God has sent His only begotten Son into the world, that we might live through Him. 10 In this is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. 11 Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.

Seeing God Through Love

12 No one has seen God at any time. If we love one another, God abides in us, and His love has been perfected in us. 13 By this we know that we abide in Him, and He in us, because He has given us of His Spirit. 14 And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent the Son as Savior of the world. 15 Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. 16 And we have known and believed the love that God has for us. God is love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God in him.

The Consummation of Love

17 Love has been perfected among us in this: that we may have boldness in the day of judgment; because as He is, so are we in this world. 18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love. 19 We love Him because He first loved us.

Obedience by Faith

20 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? 21 And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also.

[DesertSW]

7 hours ago, Butero said:

There are people that are professing Christians, and there are people that are real Christians.  Her behavior is anything but Christian, based on what you said.  I would consider her an unbeliever, but given how you feel, it is probably best you remain single.  I hate that you were left all alone as a result of the divorce.  I don't see how she can justify what she did if she is still claiming to be a Christian.  

I agree her behavior was sinful and ungodly on how she handled herself as a wife and her choice to divorce without just cause and without Godly healing. It was and is still shocking but she did what she did.

She couldn't justify what she did so she left her home and sought her parents 1,000 miles away, who of course stood by her side in what she did. That's all she needed. She knew deep down inside that our pastors disagreed with what she was doing and she refused Christian counseling. Four professional Christian counselors all agreed that she needed to sit down and discuss things before reacting so drastically by choosing divorce. She refused any and all attempts to sit down and discuss this with the pastors and counselors.

People like my ex-wife justify what they do but claiming that if it was wrong, then God would have stopped her. That's what she said. She claimed her "heart" was open to God but God never stopped her from divorcing and she felt NO GUILT in choosing divorce. So that sealed the deal. She was guilt free and justified her actions claiming she was in the Will of God.

[Guest Butero]

7 hours ago, DesertSW said:

I agree her behavior was sinful and ungodly on how she handled herself as a wife and her choice to divorce without just cause and without Godly healing. It was and is still shocking but she did what she did.

She couldn't justify what she did so she left her home and sought her parents 1,000 miles away, who of course stood by her side in what she did. That's all she needed. She knew deep down inside that our pastors disagreed with what she was doing and she refused Christian counseling. Four professional Christian counselors all agreed that she needed to sit down and discuss things before reacting so drastically by choosing divorce. She refused any and all attempts to sit down and discuss this with the pastors and counselors.

People like my ex-wife justify what they do but claiming that if it was wrong, then God would have stopped her. That's what she said. She claimed her "heart" was open to God but God never stopped her from divorcing and she felt NO GUILT in choosing divorce. So that sealed the deal. She was guilt free and justified her actions claiming she was in the Will of God.

I have one question.  You said that she reacted drastically by choosing divorce.  What was she reacting to? 

A lot of people go around thinking that if they feel something is right or wrong, that is automatically God's Spirit.  Often times, it is not.  If those feelings go contrary to the Bible, it cannot be. 

[DesertSW]

15 hours ago, Butero said:

I have one question.  You said that she reacted drastically by choosing divorce.  What was she reacting to? 

A lot of people go around thinking that if they feel something is right or wrong, that is automatically God's Spirit.  Often times, it is not.  If those feelings go contrary to the Bible, it cannot be. 

I am not sure. She had some type of issue with the marriage apparently but didn't let me know. We didn't argue, no infidelity, no abuse, no drugs, etc. All appeared well, she even wrote me letters & cards stating how much she loved me and how I was a good husband. Then, out of nowhere, she said she was leaving. So it was a shock.

Whatever it was, she reacted drastically by divorcing since it could have been easily resolved via counseling and Godly healing. Four professional Christian counselors all concluded the same thing. Yet, she refused any and all counseling, healing and restoration.