Barna Study - Divorce Rate HIGHER with Christians vs Aheists

[bryan]

Calling the original study as "unsubstantiated false data" and quoting another commentary seems a bit strong here.  The original article explained how they performed their study fairly clearly.  It's up to the reader to decide if it was valid or not.  The tripod sourced commentary you quoted disagrees with comments and opinions.  Again, it's up to the reader and their ability to understand studies, sample sizes, and statistics to make up their mind either way.

[GandalfTheWise]

I'm with @bryan on this one.  The article linked to at Tripod primarily criticizes misrepresentation of the Barna research and report.  It is not a direct criticism of the Barna work itself.   I think the comments and analysis in the Barna link in the OP were reasonable.  

[DesertSW]

5 hours ago, Gary Lee said:

Growing up in the fifties and sixties, I cannot remember anyone I knew  that was divorced, or any friends with divorced parents. Am sure there had to be some, I just don't remember any. It was different then. My wife and I would have divorced at least a dozen times, if we used the criteria of today's disgruntled couples. This may sound crazy, but a long marriage is like two old veterans having gone through a lot of battles together.  We're old war buddies, so to speak. Not necessarily with each other, but a lot of life battles. Our faults mesh. Our familiarity thrives.  (And a dozen grand kids) Forty six years and counting. By the Grace of God.  God is Light! And there is plenty of light on loving one another, and forgiveness. It works!

PS................ (Don't tell her, but I married over my head)...........    (wonder if God had anything to do with this?)

 

That's key, forgiveness! I Corinthians tells us that " LOVE KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS" Going through hardships together makes people grow together.

Back in the 50's and 60's, divorce was taboo, even among secular people. Did you know it was Ronald Reagan who invented the "NO FAULT DIVORCE" and passed it in California? Then all the states began adopting the NO FAULT DIVORCE. Prior to that, one had to PROVE infidelity or physical abuse BEFORE a divorce would be granted by a judge and assets distributed based on who did what. Nowadays, one doesn't have to prove anything since it falls back to NO FAULT and IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES. You can divorce your wife just because she didn't make you dinner. After Ronald Reagan passed that in California, the divorce rates began skyrocketing throughout the USA once each state adopted the NO FAULT divorce .

My wife took me to hell and back but I stayed true, faithful and loving for over 10 years. She was not easy to deal/live with. I would never have divorced her but she out of nowhere decided to quit her 15-year career, leave her pets and home, jump in a car and drive 1,000 miles away to live with her parents and start a new beginning and she erased me from her life. Quite devastating for me. Never saw it coming.

 

 

 

[DesertSW]

4 hours ago, bryan said:

Calling the original study as "unsubstantiated false data" and quoting another commentary seems a bit strong here.  The original article explained how they performed their study fairly clearly.  It's up to the reader to decide if it was valid or not.  The tripod sourced commentary you quoted disagrees with comments and opinions.  Again, it's up to the reader and their ability to understand studies, sample sizes, and statistics to make up their mind either way.

Well said. Barna went into great detail explaining HOW they arrived at the stats. They clearly stated that they had detailed questions they posed to make sure they were properly categorized.

 

[DesertSW]

3 hours ago, Davida said:

These are not Bible believing /following Christians, that is why.  Probably many amongst them are not truly saved.

 

That's a very broad and sweeping conclusion. There might have been a few in there that are not truly saved but it is safe to state the study is accurate and reliable. As accurate as any study can be, plus Barna is Christian based.

Whenever I hear of a Christian doing something that is very bad (divorce, adultery, suicide, etc), some people immediately will state "they were never saved to begin with" which is simply a quick & untruthful response to a very troubling problem. Saved Christians sin and do things that are shocking. They are still saved but some people can't understand it so they simply discard them as never being saved to begin with.

In my case, the wife I had known for 12 years was saved and she still chose to divorce without just cause and without any attempt to seek Godly healing and restoration. The in-laws who I had known for 12 years were saved and yet they did a 180 on their view of divorce because they were put into a corner and their daughter wanted to divorce. So they sadly took the easier road and gave in, instead of standing for God's Word, they gave in to appease their daughter.

So saved Christians do sin, they do divorce and they do things in opposition to God's Word. That is not new news to me & the Bible has many examples of saved people doing things that are very sinful. So when Barna releases a study showing the same, it shouldn't be that big of a surprise. I was surprised that the Christian divorce rates was HIGHER than the atheists. I thought it would be about the same but it was higher which did shock me.

The church I attend, probably 1/2 the people are divorced. It's a fundamental Bible-believing church that is about as conservative and evangelical as it gets. Christianity in the world, while it has many champions of the faith, has had a pretty sad history for the past 2,000 years. We (the Body of Christ) have not been much better than Israel (God's chosen people). The OT showed the many failures that Israel had and our history is not as gleaming as it should have been either.

Edited September 8, 2017 by DesertSW

[DesertSW]

15 hours ago, Davida said:

Yes, I know saved Christians sin.  You asked a general question and I gave you my general opinion and my observation, sorry- no offence,  but Bible following Christians who know the Bible, who submit to God's Word and know that GOD does not LIKE divorce & tremble at the thought of breaking that Holy Contract without just cause after all attempts to save the relationship have failed.

I'm very sure the stats on these divorces show that the majority of these marriage break ups are not because of physical abuse or adultery.  People now a days choose divorce far too easily.

I'm sorry for what happened to you in your marriage & that your wife gave up on it, it is a very painful process to go through. 

That is true. Christians chose divorce far too easily and throw in the towel. God hates divorce.

Yes, it is a painful process to go through. I never thought it would happen to me but it did.

[DesertSW]

We didn't have any kids but in those circumstances where they do. It is so much more devastating to the children. The hurt and pain it causes is felt for decades afterwards.

Divorce also destroys ones finances. We had to sell everything and the home we had was a beautiful home that was appreciating in value so to sell it prematurely due to the divorce, meant a loss. It's valued at $40k - $50k more this year than last. We also lost the retirement assets. It was quite devastating financially.

Emotionally for me it was the worst but then a divorce brings with it a financial devastation. So it is a double whammy. Starting over when one is 40 is a lot harder than when they are 20 or 30. Time/age makes everything harder.

Lastly, there was the loss of a family. I have NO family of my own so the in-laws were my family and we got along great and they considered me as part of the family. So after 10+ years of having a loving family and then losing it, that was another devastating part. Divorce destroys families and so that is added to the whole loss a divorce brings.

[DesertSW]

For those who are hurting and actually WANT TO restore their marriage instead of just bailing without attempting healing. Focus on the Family has a program to restore marriages. It's called HOPE RESTORED:

 

https://hoperestored.focusonthefamily.com/faqs/

[other one]

On ‎9‎/‎3‎/‎2017 at 8:09 PM, DesertSW said:

Barna study shows that the Christian divorce rate is HIGHER than atheists and non-believers. Sitting at around 32%-33%. While Atheists are around 30%

Barna Divorce Study (click here for Barna link)

Being a victim of a divorce just 1 years ago myself. I was shocked and dismayed when my Christian wife left me with no warning and divorced me with no attempt to seek Christian counseling. Without side tracking this post, there was no abuse, no infidelity, nothing that would justify a divorce. Four professional Christian counselors came to this conclusion. She gave no reason except she wanted to start over and was happier living in another state. I posted more on my personal divorce in the "Struggling" forum, if you want to read more about it, please post there.

So getting back to this topic. Why are Christians divorcing at such an alarming rate? Why doesn't the Body of Christ have a lower divorce vs unsaved atheists? '

of the people I personally know who have married and gotten a divorce, the reasons lie with why they got married in the first place...   vertically all that I know well enough to really talk about it got married for/over sex ....   and when the sex got tiresome they really didn't like their spouses.  Sometimes because they never really bothered to check them out and a few that the people seemed to have changed....   but only a few I knew well enough to talk to both parties.

[Neighbor]

4 hours ago, other one said:

of the people I personally know who have married and gotten a divorce, the reasons lie with why they got married in the first place...   vertically all that I know well enough to really talk about it got married for/over sex ....   and when the sex got tiresome they really didn't like their spouses.  Sometimes because they never really bothered to check them out and a few that the people seemed to have changed....   but only a few I knew well enough to talk to both parties.

 

Why else would someone marry other than over sexual desire?

 

 1 Corinthians 

Principles for Marriage

7 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.”  But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.  The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband.  For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. ⁵ Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this.  I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband  (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her.  If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. ¹⁴ For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.  But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Live as You Are Called

 Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him....

Edited September 26, 2017 by Neighbor