Couppy Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 135 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 82 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/27/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted September 27, 2017 15 minutes ago, Debp said: I think it's best to keep things simple in seeking friends. Do what the Lord taught us...love our neighbor as ourselves, do unto others as we would have others do unto us, and as it says in Proverbs a person must show themselves friendly to have friends. If we do the above, I think friends will eventually come into our lives. Also, maybe try reaching out to someone that seems to need a friend, too. I agree with Debp. Show love to someone without expecting anything back. Give your friendship. Take one step at a time. Start with being acquaintance and talk about things generally, before moving on to expressing feelings, exposing yourself etc. Take things at your own pace. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LdKHVCzRDj2 Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 17 Topic Count: 69 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,453 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 1,453 Days Won: 6 Joined: 11/02/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/23/1991 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 (edited) 7 hours ago, Couppy said: Start with being acquaintance and talk about things generally This is one of the things I do not know how to do... I don't know how to have a normal conversation, it seems like all the things I talk are received with surprise or shock... It is hard to explain, even when I greet someone in my way they spot something wrong in me and look at me in a way I feel uncomfortable... It is so hard to explain with words, then please forgive me. Some people say I just have to be natural, this is hard as well... If I act in a natural way or I would just keep silent in a place isolated from others or I will do things they will call it innappropriate behaviour... I do not know how to please people, they always find something in me to criticize, even if it is worthless to mention, they do it... And I feel sad about it, it is so hard to try again that I prefer to keep silent and alone. It feels like I do not know the timings of things I have to say, in what way to say, what to say, and when to say or what to do. Then I feel it is my fault. I do not think I am right, but things are just too hard... I hope you understand. Sorry! Edited September 27, 2017 by 4LdKHVCzRDj2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bryan Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 9 Topic Count: 15 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 422 Content Per Day: 0.06 Reputation: 319 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/13/2005 Status: Offline Share Posted September 27, 2017 1 hour ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said: Some people say I just have to be natural, this is hard as well... If I act in a natural way or I would just keep silent in a place isolated from others or I will do things they will call it innappropriate behaviour... I do not know how to please people, they always find something in me to criticize, even if it is worthless to mention, they do it... And I feel sad about it, it is so hard to try again that I prefer to keep silent and alone. Trying to 'be natural' was never helpful to me. What sometimes works for me is to ask questions. People generally like talking about themselves. If people are always finding things to criticize in you, that's may indicate you need different friends. I've found some social groups that enjoy insulting each other, making crude jokes, bragging about expensive things they buy, and more. For me, there is no value in attempting to have conversations with those types. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LdKHVCzRDj2 Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 17 Topic Count: 69 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,453 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 1,453 Days Won: 6 Joined: 11/02/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/23/1991 Author Share Posted September 27, 2017 OK, then today an opportunity showed up and I decided to go to street and buy some items I needed as soon as possible... I thought: I will not think about anything that may happen and I will just go and do the thing I have to; and prayed. Then maybe telling this may help me and you to understand. While walking to there I just ignored the things trying to stop me and decided I would go no matter what, if I had to die, face problems or uncomfortable situations. The hardest part was when I went to pay where anxiety usually goes to higher levels, it is where most unexpected things happen. Then I noticed a group of people who worked there about 5 meters away started commenting and laughing, I don't know about what, but when things like this happen it feels like it is to me. Then all sorts of negative thoughts started to appear in my mind, saying things like: "They are certainly talking about you, you are so weird, so akward, so miserable, etc". Then I said to myself: Well, there are chances they are talking about me and laughing about it... It already happened before in my life. Then that feeling of sadness and failure started to take place. I tried to ignore it, and I tried to think about the things God's Word say... And it helped me. Maybe that is one the things I have to practice more, that people will hate me, they will try to put me to shame, they will talk all sort of evil things about me... But I believe I have to forget and ignore the bad things that happen to me from other people... And keep, remember, encourage, and practice the good things. And that is also a learning experience, it shows me how making useless comments about other people can affect them negatively... It can even be considered a lack of love, because no one would desire this feeling and experience for themselves. It is obvious it is easier to say, and even easier to type, and much harder to put in practice... But I believe that is what I have to do and focus, and with the Lord Jesus always. Thanks to all who have tried to help and hear me in the forums, showing your pacience and love. God bless you! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couppy Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 135 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 82 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/27/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted September 27, 2017 5 hours ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said: This is one of the things I do not know how to do... I don't know how to have a normal conversation, it seems like all the things I talk are received with surprise or shock... It is hard to explain, even when I greet someone in my way they spot something wrong in me and look at me in a way I feel uncomfortable... It is so hard to explain with words, then please forgive me. Some people say I just have to be natural, this is hard as well... If I act in a natural way or I would just keep silent in a place isolated from others or I will do things they will call it innappropriate behaviour... I do not know how to please people, they always find something in me to criticize, even if it is worthless to mention, they do it... And I feel sad about it, it is so hard to try again that I prefer to keep silent and alone. It feels like I do not know the timings of things I have to say, in what way to say, what to say, and when to say or what to do. Then I feel it is my fault. I do not think I am right, but things are just too hard... I hope you understand. Sorry! Please do not apologise. There is nothing to be sorry about. We all struggle with one difficult or the other. Personally I have not experienced what you are going through, not that I have real friends myself. But I understand that you are going through a difficult time with befriending people. I think you communicate very well on the forum. I also think that face to face communication may be a struggle. I would like to say that no one can please everyone. We all face criticism from people. Some people who are close to us are those who hurt us most with their unexpected criticisms and hurtful words. I am not sure if you have spoken to a Christian counsellor about this. They may be able to help you understand why this is happening. You are already in my prayers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couppy Posted September 27, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 135 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 82 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/27/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted September 27, 2017 1 hour ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said: Maybe that is one the things I have to practice more, that people will hate me, they will try to put me to shame, they will talk all sort of evil things about me... But I believe I have to forget and ignore the bad things that happen to me from other people... And keep, remember, encourage, and practice the good things. And that is also a learning experience, it shows me how making useless comments about other people can affect them negatively... It can even be considered a lack of love, because no one would desire this feeling and experience for themselves. It is obvious it is easier to say, and even easier to type, and much harder to put in practice... But I believe that is what I have to do and focus, and with the Lord Jesus always. Thanks to all who have tried to help and hear me in the forums, showing your pacience and love. God bless you! One thing that I believe you could practice more is to confess positive things to yourself. For example how about practice more by stating that people will accept you as you are, they will see the good things in you, they will talk positive about you. Do not let the devil put negative words in your mouth. Resist him with positive confession and what God has made you. You are the apple of God's eye. Look in the mirror and confess positive to yourself. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4LdKHVCzRDj2 Posted September 28, 2017 Group: Diamond Member Followers: 17 Topic Count: 69 Topics Per Day: 0.03 Content Count: 1,453 Content Per Day: 0.54 Reputation: 1,453 Days Won: 6 Joined: 11/02/2016 Status: Offline Birthday: 09/23/1991 Author Share Posted September 28, 2017 6 hours ago, Couppy said: Please do not apologise. There is nothing to be sorry about. We all struggle with one difficult or the other. Sorry, you are right... My problems aren't that important, there are people who real and big problems and I am here posting mine that are so small in comparison. 6 hours ago, Couppy said: I am not sure if you have spoken to a Christian counsellor about this. No, this is the only place I can talk. Sorry! I feel my posts were a big misktake... And maybe this post, maybe people will see me in a negative way for this post as well. But I feel really bad now... Sorry, I just want to apologize and we could forget all this. There is no need to post anything back. I will be fine. Sorry! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Couppy Posted September 28, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 2 Topic Count: 3 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 135 Content Per Day: 0.03 Reputation: 82 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/27/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted September 28, 2017 (edited) 2 hours ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said: Sorry, you are right... My problems aren't that important, there are people who real and big problems and I am here posting mine that are so small in comparison. No, this is the only place I can talk. Sorry! I feel my posts were a big misktake... And maybe this post, maybe people will see me in a negative way for this post as well. But I feel really bad now... Sorry, I just want to apologize and we could forget all this. There is no need to post anything back. I will be fine. Sorry! My fear is that you misunderstood me. Your problems are very important to me and to many others here. Edited September 28, 2017 by Couppy 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OneLight Posted September 28, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 22 Topic Count: 1,294 Topics Per Day: 0.21 Content Count: 31,762 Content Per Day: 5.26 Reputation: 9,760 Days Won: 115 Joined: 09/14/2007 Status: Offline Share Posted September 28, 2017 Closed by request of the OP. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts