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Ponderer, Postponer or POUNCER? T-I-C day.


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Hello y'all. It's Tongue-In-Cheek-day today. The first day of this week. God is God. God is Good...all the time!

Ponderer: considers the posts of others carefully; perhaps adds some words of encouragement or gently posits other views.

Postponer: waits until they see which way the wind is blowing, then joins the perceived 'winning' side.

Pouncer: immediately pounces on the poor poster and tells them how far they err. Maybe includes some less than kind inferences.

WHICH ARE YOU?

 

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Great idea here!  Let's add a community voting system so we can all rate responses to posts and classify them as one of these types!

(That's not a serious recommendation, by the way, but a fun idea to consider.  There are social media communities that rate posts and at times it works well.)

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1 minute ago, bryan said:

Great idea here!  Let's add a community voting system so we can all rate responses to posts and classify them as one of these types!

(That's not a serious recommendation, by the way, but a fun idea to consider.  There are social media communities that rate posts and at times it works well.)

There already is.  Hover your mouse over the thumbs up icon to the bottom right of each post and you will see different choices.  Though they are not the three choices in the OP, they have the same idea.

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Good Job A-J. Words have eternal consequences. We all do well to be reminded of that.

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Brilliant analogy!

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Since so few responded to this -- WAY TO GO!!

(if ya ponders too long ya forgets...)

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Serious question.  Does anyone actually ever use OyVey, Stop Fighting, or Huh as ratings?  

FWIW, I had to look up Oy Vey.  I'm assuming the general sense of that rating is exasperation or dismay.

I just finished reading the non-fiction Frank Peretti book "The Wounded Spirit" which is about bullying.  I seriously wonder how many people have walked away from various Christian forums (not referring to WCF in particular though probably including it) or churches or other ministries because of various forms of religious and spiritually bullying.  I also wonder how many of us stand by when someone is getting pounced on and more or less let it go because we don't want to become a target ourselves or think that they should just defend themselves.  I've been starting to wonder if I shouldn't be more reactive to "pouncers" to protect the hearts of God's hurting children.

As a serious question I've been meditating on, when does sharing the truth in love, or confronting someone in love, or whatever we do "in love" cross the line into bullying someone who doesn't fit our particular theological definition of a "good" Christian?  When do our "helpful" and "loving" efforts cross the line from concern to intimidation that someone is not a "real" Christian if they disagree with us?  When does it become my responsibility to jump in and say something?

Maybe I'm making something out of nothing and that forums should just be for people who can handle the heat and the format.  But, I think we all lose if some people are chased off who might otherwise have been willing to share their wisdom and experience with us.

Anyway, I mean this post mainly to raise questions rather than answer them.  I'm meditating on this myself right now.

 

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18 hours ago, GandalfTheWise said:

Serious question.  Does anyone actually ever use OyVey, Stop Fighting, or Huh as ratings?  

FWIW, I had to look up Oy Vey.  I'm assuming the general sense of that rating is exasperation or dismay.

I just finished reading the non-fiction Frank Peretti book "The Wounded Spirit" which is about bullying.  I seriously wonder how many people have walked away from various Christian forums (not referring to WCF in particular though probably including it) or churches or other ministries because of various forms of religious and spiritually bullying.  I also wonder how many of us stand by when someone is getting pounced on and more or less let it go because we don't want to become a target ourselves or think that they should just defend themselves.  I've been starting to wonder if I shouldn't be more reactive to "pouncers" to protect the hearts of God's hurting children.

As a serious question I've been meditating on, when does sharing the truth in love, or confronting someone in love, or whatever we do "in love" cross the line into bullying someone who doesn't fit our particular theological definition of a "good" Christian?  When do our "helpful" and "loving" efforts cross the line from concern to intimidation that someone is not a "real" Christian if they disagree with us?  When does it become my responsibility to jump in and say something?

Maybe I'm making something out of nothing and that forums should just be for people who can handle the heat and the format.  But, I think we all lose if some people are chased off who might otherwise have been willing to share their wisdom and experience with us.

Anyway, I mean this post mainly to raise questions rather than answer them.  I'm meditating on this myself right now.

 

A lot to think about.There are many reasons people join a forum. Bringing their baggage with them, including myself. I say I'm here to learn. yet I catch myself posting often, thinking I might impress others with my wit, or my insight. Right. My spirit usually makes me aware if I cross the line, and I try to heed. I was a lurker member since 09, watching. Never posted till lately. I realized this forum ain't no tea party. But it is like a family. Of friends. Of believers, mostly.  Some are serious defenders of the faith. Most make appropriate Christ like responses. Yet stand firm. That is not bullying, to me. Others do like to stir up. Some are very sensitive, and easily offended. Some hardly say much, and post appropriate scripture to do their talking.  Many try to set new rules, to fit every situation. Some do not like to concede, even when confronted with scripture.  When you think about it, this is not soft ball, it's hard ball, and sometimes people get hurt. This forum  in my opinion,  is self disciplined quite well. There are enough spirit led mature believers ready to step up to the plate when needed, and do. The line is crossed when the attack moves from scripture to personal, and if continued, should, and usually is, dealt with quickly. This forum is unique, in that it's Christ like self governing I believe is honoring to the Lord. When my son was young, and in his normal wild young growing up and testing the boundaries, I had to move into the "This is reality son" mode, and show him what God expects of him. I did not coddle him. I explained reality. Hard as it was, sometimes grace, but always, I gave him truth.  Anything less is not love.
A key component to remember, is all those lurkers, seekers, watching, listening, wondering, deciding.

Col_4:6  Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

Edited by Gary Lee
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38 minutes ago, Gary Lee said:

A lot to think about.There are many reasons people join a forum. Bringing their baggage with them, including myself. I say I'm here to learn. yet I catch myself posting often, thinking I might impress others with my wit, or my insight. Right. My spirit usually makes me aware if I cross the line, and I try to heed. I was a lurker member since 09, watching. Never posted till lately. I realized this forum ain't no tea party. But it is like a family. Of friends. Of believers, mostly.  Some are serious defenders of the faith. Most make appropriate Christ like responses. Yet stand firm. That is not bullying, to me. Others do like to stir up. Some are very sensitive, and easily offended. Some hardly say much, and post appropriate scripture to do their talking.  Many try to set new rules, to fit every situation. Some do not like to concede, even when confronted with scripture.  When you think about it, this is not soft ball, it's hard ball, and sometimes people get hurt. This forum  in my opinion,  is self disciplined quite well. There are enough spirit led mature believers ready to step up to the plate when needed, and do. The line is crossed when the attack moves from scripture to personal, and if continued, should, and usually is, dealt with quickly. This forum is unique, in that it's Christ like self governing I believe is honoring to the Lord. When my son was young, and in his normal wild young growing up and testing the boundaries, I had to move into the "This is reality son" mode, and show him what God expects of him. I did not coddle him. I explained reality. Hard as it was, sometimes grace, but always, I gave him truth.  Anything less is not love.
A key component to remember, is all those lurkers, seekers, watching, listening, wondering, deciding.

Col_4:6  Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.

I've facilitated enough small groups over the years to know that some people need to be drawn out of their shell.  This cannot occur if they do not feel it safe to do so. I'm usually the person in most groups who notices who is talking and who is quiet.  I keep an eye on the quiet people and watch their body language.  When I think their body language shows that they are itching to say something, I'll directly ask them a question or say something like, "Hey, you've been quiet, what do you think?"   I've found that after a few meetings and a few successes where their words are well received, they start to come out of their shell and become an active participating member of the group.  I know one fellow who would barely say two sentences in an hour and a half and those were usually "Hi" and "Bye".  A couple years later and he was out of his shell, helping to lead a small group, and was actually leading the singing with songs he had written.

How many lurkers here are too insecure to try posting or responding?  How many people try it once or twice, get pounced on, and then give up?   Maybe it's not very many and I'm worried about a non-issue.  However, I have two Christian daughters that each for a time have wanted nothing to do with churches and Christian groups because they were wounded deeply by zealous "truth-tellers" (that in my opinion were way off base).  My sense is that they are not alone.

When I was younger, it used to be all about truth (or more accurately my opinion about what truth is).  Then God really convicted me that I had become a clanging gong and clashing cymbal.  I was frequently factually and spiritually correct, but at times I wasn't helping people, I was wounding people.  I was presuming in my arrogance that I knew better than God what that person needed to hear at any given time.  And quite frankly, for a time when I was younger, I was in a mode where I felt like it was my obligation to correct any and every error I saw for people's own good because to not do so meant that I didn't love them enough to correct them.  Most people have a lot of things in their lives that need correcting.  I've come to believe that the only things we should be correcting are those things that God is most concerned with correcting and directly leading us to address in some manner.  If there is some big thing in a person's life that God is working on, to the extent that we start addressing other issues (which maybe do need correcting at some point), we can distract people away from God wants them to focus on. 

These experiences are a big part of what is motivating my meditation on this stuff.  When the correction we gracefully, kindly, gently, lovingly, and effectively give is targeted at what God is working on in someone's life, we are a big help to them.  When that is not the case, at best we become background noise, and at worse we can wound them or distract them away from what God wants them to focus on.  I'm trying to figure out what this might look like in practice in a forum setting.

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On 9/24/2017 at 5:13 AM, Justin Adams said:

Pouncer: immediately pounces on the poor poster and tells them how far they err. Maybe includes some less than kind inferences.

Do you really think anyone is going to raise their hand and say "me me "to this . The way you worded it ; you painted the poster as a victim and the one who  defends his understanding of the correct viewpoint  a "pouncer"  or a bully.

Your OP speaks to your opinion about how you perceive  various personalities. You probably didnt realize that but it does

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