Fearfulness

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

Another sorrow decided to strike me one more time: the fact that I am fearful. :'(

I am fearful and have to face it hardly to overcome it whenever I have to do something new or trivial that involves social interaction or exposure.

It is very hard, I have gave up many things in my life because of it.

And if it wasn't for my faith in Christ I wouldn't want to try to overcome it.

I am a very reserved individual (or fearful?), and I do not like showing much what I do in my life.

Like when I am reading, typing things in front of my computer and people come to look what I am doing I usually try to hide and wait people to leave.

I know I have to be careful, I don't want to deny the Lord Jesus when I am asked about something or when I am reading.

Then sometimes I get in serious doubt if I accidentally did that during the day. I certainly don't want to do that, then I know I have to stay alert.

The problem is not only the fear and anxiety, there are other things about myself people don't like, such as: loneliness and isolation, difficult in expressing sympathy and kindness, awkwardness.

I am not saying I want to be rude or that I am, I do not see people complaining about that but I feel that others see me as: cold, indifferent, crazy.

And I have to face indirect and direct judgment and condemnation, like when I hear people saying verses like Revelation 21:8.

I have had many situations it happened, like when I am in church and people get very extrovert and I stay silent and standing still.

Hearing comments and messages like: "Is he normal? Certainly he is not, must have a mental illness of some sort.". Does not feel to help me.

Sometimes, to me it sounds like: "You are not like us, or you change that or you will go to hell.".

I do not want to hear people only, but I want to hear from God and His word...

I know I am powerless, without His help I could not learn, face, and overcome my problems.

I believe I just need to trust in the Lord and face my daily trials and challenges and do not let fear or anxiety stop me.

It is never easy, but most of the times it is easier to win than I thought... Overcoming each day feels good enough.

Sometimes I feel it may be an endless battle till the end of my life... May the Lord have mercy on me. :'(

Thank you for hearing me. You are welcome to talk to me.

God bless you!

[GandalfTheWise]

In my opinion, having some type of social disorder or phobia is a far cry from being cowardly or fearful.   This is something that is more of an affliction to be endured than a choice of behavior.

If you feel uncomfortable about showing people anything that you are doing whether related to spiritual things or not, it's my opinion that this is not denying Jesus.   In comparison to Peter's explicit "I don't know him", it doesn't seem like a big deal to me if it's the same for anything you are working on.

I had a few phobias that I struggled with for many years including acrophobia.  There were more than a few family or group outings where I skipped things where there were high or wide open views.  There were times I could force myself up stairwells or other places by gripping onto handrails and staring at the ground or hanging onto my wife.  Things like this are not a matter of simply being "braver" or more "motivated".   In my case, God just simply delivered me one day and they were gone.  I was at church, the speaker gave a call for people who wanted prayer to go up after the sermon, I felt very strongly that I was supposed to go forward though I had no idea for what, and when he was done praying for me, a couple phobias were just gone along with a few other things.

 

[Debp]

Hi and welcome again!   Don't be too hard on yourself....if you are an introvert, learn to accept that.  That is your personality that God gave you.

You can smile, nod at people, etc, if you don't know what to say.  Also, ask them a question.... people usually will talk alot about themselves!  Just keep asking questions...

Also, I wonder if a more quiet church might help you?  Some churches are more reverent and I actually prefer them.  I seem to sense God's presence more, in a quiet church.

People might not be thinking wrong of you.  If they are, then they are the wrong ones.  As Christians we are to love and accept each other.

I'm glad you are reaching out here for help.   Remember God loves you because you are His child through Christ our Savior.  We are only seen as perfect in Christ...we have the imputed righteousness of Christ as He took our sins.

[Debp]

Brother, just saying hello and seeing how you are lately.

Do you enjoy the church where you now attend?  Just wondering if a quieter church might help you?  Any thoughts about that?  God bless!

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

19 hours ago, Debp said:

Any thoughts about that?

No, the church seems fine.

 

But I am not attending, but I plan to go back soon.

[Debp]

3 hours ago, 4LdKHVCzRDj2 said:

No, the church seems fine.

 

But I am not attending, but I plan to go back soon.

Alright, just checking if the church suits your personality.

About your fears or anxiety, thinking you might have done something wrong....Please take 1 John 1:9 to your heart.

"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

Everytime you feel badly that you might have failed the Lord, please remember and meditate on that verse.  Then remember you are cleansed by the Lord.

You might also look up some other verses on fear.....not verses that make you feel condemned but verses that talk about God helping you with your fears, etc.

Hope these suggestions might help you.  God bless!

[Wayne222]

I think everyone has a different personality. And we don't know why some people are shy or out going. I think it's in the DNA. Don't knock yourself because you are shy to express yourself. Believe me in the resurrection you will be joyful.