PLEASE READ THIS EVEN THOUGH LONG ( INCLUDES A POEM I WROTE WITH YOU IN MIND)
A POEM FOR YOU GUYS WITH A LONG BUT HEARTFELT INTRO:
TONIGHT I WAS FEELING DOWN AND QUESTIONING THE MEANING OF MY LIFE.
IT WAS THEN THAT GOD LED ME TO WRITE THIS POEM.
I FELT LIKE I SHOULD SHARE IT WITH YOU GUYS.
I KNOW THERE MUST BE OTHERS OUT THERE
WHO FEEL THIS WAY, TOO.
SO THIS POEM GOES OUT WITH LOVE FROM ME TO YOU.
IT IS DEDICATED TO THOSE WHO STRUGGLE WITH CONFUSION,
LONELINESS AND DEPRESSION.
WE ALL HAVE OUR OWN STORIES AND UNIQUE REASONS.
MINE HAS MUCH TO DO WITH HOW LIMITED I AM BY
MY CHRONIC HEALTH ISSUES
AND DISABILITIES THAT
KEEP ME HOME BOUND.
WHAT'S YOUR STORY?
SHARE, IF YOU LIKE.
I HOPE THIS CAN SPUR ON A DISCUSSION
OF WAYS TO COUNTERACT SATAN'S LIES
THAT TRY TO DRAG US DOWN.
FOR ME THERE IS NOTHING
MORE POWERFUL THAN THE CROSS.
1 Corinthians 1:18 "For the preaching of the cross is to them that perish foolishness;
but unto us which are saved it is the power of God."
PLEASE COMMENT. I'D LOVE TO HEAR YOUR THOUGHTS!!!!
SOMETIMES I FEEL
SOMETIMES I FEEL SO VERY SMALL
LIKE NO ONE KNOWS I'M HERE AT ALL
I WONDER WHY I'M ON THIS EARTH
AND FEEL I HAVEN'T ANY WORTH
BUT THEN I THINK THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT
AND I MUST WALK BY FAITH, NOT SIGHT
FOR IF I TRUST WHAT SCRIPTURES SAY
I KNOW IT CAN NOT BE THAT WAY
THOUGH FOLKS AT TIMES MAY BE UNKIND
THE SAVIOR DIED WITH ME IN MIND
HE LOVED ME AND HE TOOK MY PLACE
SO ALL MY SINS HE COULD ERASE
THERE WILL BE TIMES I FEEL ALONE
AND MY LIFE'S PURPOSE SEEMS UNKNOWN
BUT SATAN CAN NOT TAKE FROM ME
WHAT JESUS DID AT CALVARY!
WRITTEN BY TURTLETWO ON 6-19-18
(A POEM THE LORD GAVE ME TO ENCOURAGE OTHERS)
I am in a very serious situation right now and I have no idea what to do about it. I have 9 days to move out of my trailer. I am on disability and only make $847 per month and I am already down to $400 being left in my account. Also, my utilities are in my ex-roommate's name and he moved out Monday so I my power, gas, and Internet can be shut off any time now. I have contacted every agency and apartment complex that I can find and I am getting no support and no help. I am a loner and I'm agoraphobic, severely social phobic, have bad panic and anxiety attacks and do not associate with anyone, really. All I have are 2 of my 4 adult daughters and they are not much help. My youngest is going through things. My 24 year old is stung out on drugs. My 25 year old is in jail and my oldest is in another city. I do not really associate with my mother because of things she's done to me and allowed to happen to me in the past. She is no support whatsoever. I have no one and nothing out here. I used to have my grandparents but they both died and now I am all alone. I have a man but he is in prison. I have 2 old male cats that I love very much and they are my life, but other than my cats, talking to my man on the phone and email, and God...I have no one. For some reason I am not getting anywhere. I have applied for all types of assistance and I am getting no help. I am on disability and am bipolar with psychotic episodes and have PTSD, borderline personality disorder, paranoid personality disorder, anti-social personality disorder, and schizotypal personality disorder. I have only been out of my house a handfull of times since November of 2009 and I have not driven a car since then either. I am not on my psychiatric meds right now because I had issues with my mental health care provider and plan on suing them. I can't go to a shelter because they are wanting me to put my cats in the animal shelter and I refuse to do that. That would kill my cats and me. My roommate was a 53 year old guy named Greg and he was very abusive, violent, and he spent his time harassing me, invading my privacy, threatening me, stealing from me, and trying to intimidate me. He caused a lot of problems around here for me and my kids and now I have to move out by the 18th of this month. He is a very bad person and he is on the run right now. There is a warrant out on him. He has 9 felonies and he's on probation for battery and has violated probation twice already. He had something going with the lady that works in the office here at the trailer court and she tampered with our lease and made it look like my daughter's name was never on it, he lied and got a protective order on her and got her kicked out of here, and that lady also wrote him a bogus letter stating that my daughter was banned from here. They had NO grounds. All she did was call the cops on my roommate 6 times because he was a threat. The cops kept telling us there was nothing they could do. I got tired of it and complained about that lady to the owner and the next thing I know I am getting a letter stating they are quitting my lease. I am only on here as an occupant. The utilities are in my ex-roommate's name. I am about to be sitting here with no power, nowhere to go, no support, no money, and on and on it goes. I simply do not know what else I can do. I owe the electric company $350, the gas company $65, and the Internet companies money. I have an eviction on my record and I have bad credit due to student loans. My eviction was really not my fault. I lived in my apartment for 5 years and was never late on my rent then new management came in and jacked the rent up really high and I couldn't afford it. I got evicted back in March of 2017 and I have been bouncing around from place to place since. I need a place of my own and to get my bills straightened out and I need people to help me get my life back on track. I have prayed and prayed about this and am getting no results. I need someone to pray for me that God will direct me to the people and resources I need that can help me. I am at my wits end and have nowhere left to turn.
I introduced a section within my first post in this series, as one of the most unbelievable scenarios you could read. In that section you have Rebekah and Jacob pulling off the deception of a lifetime, as Isaac is tricked into believing that Jacob was Esau merely by strapping a piece of sheepskin on Jacob's arm. I have to ask, have you ever seen sheep? They exceed the hair of man about 100 to one.
While most would have run for their lives but not Jacob; and, I cannot give you any good reason why? As you see in Genesis 28:6-7, Isaac, after the deception, has instructed Jacob not to take a wife from the daughters of Canaan. After hearing this Jacob leaves toward Haran in order to comply and his mother goes with him. What just happened?
Watch what Esau does.
Genesis 28:6-7 NASB Now Esau saw that Isaac had blessed Jacob and sent him away to Paddan-aram to take to himself a wife from there, and that when he blessed him he charged him, saying, "You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan," 7) and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan-aram.
This is the first time I noticed this aspect of the story. Note how it says, “and that Jacob had obeyed his father and his mother and had gone to Paddan-aram.” When you think about the reality of the situation and how furious Isaac should have been at Rebekah, then it makes all the sense in the world for her to with Jacob. Besides that, she may need to make the introductions and marriage arrangements for this favorite of sons.
Esau, on the other hand, seeing how irritated his mother became about the women he married, (This is the same mother who deceived Isaac his father, and helped to cheat him out of his rightful inheritance,) went out and found himself a few more.
Genesis 28:8-9 NASB So Esau saw that the daughters of Canaan displeased his father Isaac; 9) and Esau went to Ishmael, and married, besides the wives that he had, Mahalath the daughter of Ishmael, Abraham's son, the sister of Nebaioth.
This next section focuses entirely on a dream that Jacob had.
Indeed, it was a very vivid dream, in a manner similar to the dream that Abram had, it was as close to reality as you can come. You have to wonder how much understanding Jacob had about God, or where he got that understanding. The only thing we see is Isaac praying to the Lord in chapter 25. Isaac, being the son of Abraham, I can understand how and where he learned of the Lord, but the apparent influence on Jacob is not seen.
Genesis 25:21-23 NASB Isaac prayed to the LORD on behalf of his wife, because she was barren; and the LORD answered him and Rebekah his wife conceived. 22) But the children struggled together within her; and she said, "If it is so, why then am I this way?" So she went to inquire of the LORD. 23) The LORD said to her, "Two nations are in your womb; And two peoples will be separated from your body; And one people shall be stronger than the other; And the older shall serve the younger."
Jacob's Dream - Genesis 28:10-22
But first Jacob has to kneel before his father, apparently at his father's demand.
Genesis 28:1 NASB So Isaac called Jacob and blessed him and charged him, and said to him, "You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan.
This is the second time Jacob has been blessed, however, Isaac is well aware of the deceitful methods that were used on him. Without going any farther, I already see a prime example of the nature and character of God, as Isaac overlooks the “sin” and bestows a purposeful blessing upon Jacob.
Blessed is the Hebrew word bāraḵ: A verb meaning to bless, kneel, salute, or greet. The verb derives from the noun knee and perhaps suggests the bending of the knee in blessing.
Would we expect to see Isaac kneeling before Jacob at this point?
Not a chance, so it is Jacob, this time with intention, kneeling before his father.
Do you think it is possible that Isaac could bring some punishment upon this son?
No, and again, this is an example of God's grace, as we too, caught in our sins, deserved punishment, but what happened? The Son Jesus took all punishment on our behalf.
I am well aware that I have no key character, in this scenario, that takes the punishment for Jacob. What I do see, is Jacob suffering abuse, at not only the hand of Laban but his own sons when we get to them.
Pay attention to what Isaac tells Jacob.
Perspective: The flood has come and gone, and, with it, should have been the giants and the evil and violence that were associated not just with them, but people in general. And, secondly, this has taken place before Moses and prior to the law.
Is that what happened?
Not exactly, for men still had the right to choose how they would live, and the giants returned. Genesis 6:4 tells us that afterward, they showed up again. After what? The flood.
“The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward when the sons of God came in to the daughters of men, and they bore children to them. Those were the mighty men who were of old, men of renown.” Genesis 6:4 NASB
Two pieces of evidence for giants after the flood comes from Numbers 13:33 and 2Samuel 21:16, both of which speak of giants still permeating the land. Canaan was one of those places and we learn of it when Israel sent 12 men to spy out the Land of Canaan.
“You shall not take a wife from the daughters of Canaan.”
Do a word search and the first place Canaan shows up is in Genesis 9.
Genesis 9:18-27 NASB Now the sons of Noah who came out of the ark were Shem and Ham and Japheth; and Ham was the father of Canaan. 19) These three were the sons of Noah, and from these the whole earth was populated. 20) Then Noah began farming and planted a vineyard. 21) He drank of the wine and became drunk, and uncovered himself inside his tent. 22) Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father, and told his two brothers outside. 23) But Shem and Japheth took a garment and laid it upon both their shoulders and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father; and their faces were turned away, so that they did not see their father's nakedness. 24) When Noah awoke from his wine, he knew what his youngest son had done to him. 25) So he said, "Cursed be Canaan; A servant of servants He shall be to his brothers." 26) He also said, "Blessed be the LORD, The God of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant. 27) "May God enlarge Japheth, And let him dwell in the tents of Shem; And let Canaan be his servant."
Notice how Canaan is pointed out as the son of Ham; this is not a favorable distinction.
Genesis 28:2 NASB "Arise, go to Paddan-aram, to the house of Bethuel your mother's father; and from there take to yourself a wife from the daughters of Laban your mother's brother.
The town of Bethuel gained it's origins in a man, as was the case with every city.
Genesis 22:20-23 NASB Now it came about after these things, that it was told Abraham, saying, "Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: 21) Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother and Kemuel the father of Aram 22) and Chesed and Hazo and Pildash and Jidlaph and Bethuel." 23) Bethuel became the father of Rebekah; these eight Milcah bore to Nahor, Abraham's brother.
So here is your ancestry moment, It was told, Abraham:
Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor
Uz his firstborn and Buz his brother and Kemuel the father of Aram 22) and Chesed and Hazo and Pildash and Jidlaph and Bethuel."
Kemuel produces a son Aram. Note the similarities to Paddan-aram!
The son to be born to Nahor is Bethuel.
Bethuel became the father of Rebekah
Rebekah is the wife of Isaac, the mother of Esau and Jacob. This also means that Bethuel became the father of Laban.
Jacob, still kneeling before his father Isaac, receives all these instructions and blessings; as though what he stole was not enough.
Genesis 28:3-5 NASB "May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may become a company of peoples. 4) "May He also give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and to your descendants with you, that you may possess the land of your sojournings, which God gave to Abraham." 5) Then Isaac sent Jacob away, and he went to Paddan-aram to Laban, son of Bethuel the Aramean, the brother of Rebekah, the mother of Jacob and Esau.
“ May God Almighty bless you and make you fruitful and multiply you, that you may become a company of peoples.”
“May He also give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and to your descendants with you, that you may possess the land of your sojournings, which God gave to Abraham.”
What were the blessings of Abraham?
Genesis 12:1-3 NASB Now the LORD said to Abram, "Go forth from your country, And from your relatives And from your father's house, To the land which I will show you; 2) And I will make you a great nation, And I will bless you, And make your name great; And so you shall be a blessing; 3) And I will bless those who bless you, And the one who curses you I will curse. And in you all the families of the earth will be blessed."
Genesis 17:6-8 NASB "I will make you exceedingly fruitful, and I will make nations of you, and kings will come forth from you. 7) "I will establish My covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you throughout their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be God to you and to your descendants after you. 8) "I will give to you and to your descendants after you, the land of your sojournings, all the land of Canaan, for an everlasting possession; and I will be their God."
I will make you a great nation
I will bless you
and make your name great
I will bless those that bless you, and the one who curses you I will curse.
In you, all the families of the earth will be blessed.
I will make you exceedingly fruitful
and I will make nations of you
kings will come forth from you
I will establish my covenant between Me and you and your descendants after you … for an everlasting covenant.
Be a God to you and to your descendants.
And, I will give you and your descendants … all the land of Canaan for an everlasting possession.
So, tell me, is this what you say to someone who has just deceived you? And yet, this is exactly what Isaac just did. “May He also give you the blessing of Abraham, to you and to your descendants with you, that you may possess the land of your sojournings, which God gave to Abraham.”
Genesis 28:10-11 NASB Then Jacob departed from Beersheba and went toward Haran. 11) He came to a certain place and spent the night there because the sun had set; and he took one of the stones of the place and put it under his head, and lay down in that place.
Haran, isn't that the place where Abram was and God told him to go to a land that He would show him? Yes, it is. But it is also the place where so many things will take place, and now Jacob is going there to find himself a wife. Fortunately, Jacob has his mommy with him to make the introductions; although we are not told that, it works for the moment.
Genesis 11:26-31 NASB Terah lived seventy years, and became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran. 27) Now these are the records of the generations of Terah. Terah became the father of Abram, Nahor and Haran; and Haran became the father of Lot. 28) Haran died in the presence of his father Terah in the land of his birth, in Ur of the Chaldeans. 29) Abram and Nahor took wives for themselves. The name of Abram's wife was Sarai; and the name of Nahor's wife was Milcah, the daughter of Haran, the father of Milcah and Iscah. 30) Sarai was barren; she had no child. 31) Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife; and they went out together from Ur of the Chaldeans in order to enter the land of Canaan; and they went as far as Haran, and settled there.
Note this: “Terah took Abram his son, and Lot the son of Haran, his grandson, and Sarai his daughter-in-law, his son Abram's wife; and they went out together from Ur of the Chaldeans in order to enter the land of Canaan; and they went as far as Haran, and settled there.
It seems God has His hands in everything, doesn't it?
“He came to a certain place and spent the night there because the sun had set;”
Genesis 28:19 NASB He called the name of that place Bethel; however, previously the name of the city had been Luz.
“And he took one of the stones of the place and put it under his head, and lay down in that place.”
Genesis 28:18-22 NASB So Jacob rose early in the morning, and took the stone that he had put under his head and set it up as a pillar and poured oil on its top. 19) He called the name of that place Bethel; however, previously the name of the city had been Luz. 20) Then Jacob made a vow, saying, "If God will be with me and will keep me on this journey that I take, and will give me food to eat and garments to wear, 21) and I return to my father's house in safety, then the LORD will be my God. 22) "This stone, which I have set up as a pillar, will be God's house, and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You."
God's house? This statement is immensely significant, and so is this, “and of all that You give me I will surely give a tenth to You.”
Without any motivation of “law,” Jacob has made a commitment to tithe.