JTC Posted November 5, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,795 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 1,502 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/26/1952 Share Posted November 5, 2017 Hi Everyone, When you all pray for me it usually helps. For the past several years I'm finding it harder and harder to walk longer than 5 minutes. I'm also bent over so even though I'm 65 I look 85. In 2010 I went to a spinal orthopedist who had a lumbar MRI done. I can't find the report but I remember he said my back is a mess, but surgery can't help. Everything was minor back then. I remember "spinal stenosis", 2 herniated discs, and a word I couldn't pronounce that started with a S. I was on a medical site earlier and I saw the word. It's 2 words and it's worse than stenosis. This was on the MRI, Ankylosing Spondylitis. Unlike stenosis this illness is systemic which means it can effect me any where in my body. Two usual areas are the eyes and the lungs. I went to an eye Doc last May and he said I need cataract surgery on both eyes. My cousin was going to pay someone to accompany me but then she died. I have COPD so I went to my lung doc a week ago. He didn't like the chest X-Ray so he sent me for a CT Scan. The way I feel I was expecting tumors. No tumors just some nodules. Tonight I read spondylitis often effects the lungs. Furthermore, spondylitis is known to cause fatigue. I'm always exhausted. I almost wish the doc would give me Adderall. This is all bad, very bad. I feel like God hates me. But I read His Word every morning. After I read about spondylitis I felt my depression coming over me like a storm cloud. I wish I still had a friend like I always did prior to 2000. I've also been battling a nicotine addiction and I was making some progress. But I want to die and my foolish mind says, keep smoking. But I won't die, I'll just have more trouble breathing. I wish we had nicotine detox centers. They would force me to quit and I'd have people around me. Only God can help me, I'm beyond Docs. On top of all this, everyone is getting angry at me. The people in the stores I go in everyday and 1 of my Doc's has a receptionist who I thought liked talking to me. A few weeks ago she started screaming at me saying I don't have Medicaid. But I sure do, I pay $135 a month. None of this makes sense, I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone again. So please pray for me. When I pray nothing happens. God bless you all. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgie_02 Posted November 5, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 0 Topic Count: 4 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 371 Content Per Day: 0.15 Reputation: 579 Days Won: 0 Joined: 07/13/2017 Status: Offline Birthday: 11/26/2002 Share Posted November 5, 2017 sorry your going through this...god doesnt hate you keeping you in my prayers gbu 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Debp Posted November 5, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 52 Topic Count: 1,010 Topics Per Day: 0.15 Content Count: 12,206 Content Per Day: 1.79 Reputation: 16,282 Days Won: 92 Joined: 07/19/2005 Status: Online Share Posted November 5, 2017 Will also pray for you. The Lord give you comfort and strength to get through all of this. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne222 Posted November 5, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 32 Topic Count: 471 Topics Per Day: 0.17 Content Count: 6,543 Content Per Day: 2.30 Reputation: 7,619 Days Won: 9 Joined: 06/12/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted November 5, 2017 I know this sounds little. But you have the greatest friend in heaven and you know his name. But I understand you need friends to be physically with you and to help out. Praying for your illnesses. Focus on the hope also that christ will bring to you and all of us. It called a glorious hope in Titus. God has a great hope coming to you. God gave you Jesus so I don't know why he would now hate you. Job suffer more then anyone. Lost his 12 children in one day. All his worldly goods. And then his health went completely bad. Great pain and no answer from God . We know God was watching him unseen. God work out his plan for job. And he is and will work his plan for you. Don't doubt him. You have christ. You belong to him. Read ps 23 it is beautiful. . 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTC Posted November 5, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,795 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 1,502 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/26/1952 Author Share Posted November 5, 2017 It sounds insensitive. It also tells me you don't know what true, very real, loneliness feels like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOONE7 Posted November 6, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 21 Topics Per Day: 0.01 Content Count: 11,715 Content Per Day: 4.64 Reputation: 9,752 Days Won: 106 Joined: 04/29/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2017 Praying!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne222 Posted November 6, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 32 Topic Count: 471 Topics Per Day: 0.17 Content Count: 6,543 Content Per Day: 2.30 Reputation: 7,619 Days Won: 9 Joined: 06/12/2016 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2017 9 hours ago, JTC said: It sounds insensitive. It also tells me you don't know what true, very real, loneliness feels like. I think you just misunderstood me. But sorry I was not good in my post. Praying for you brother. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annette Posted November 6, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 65 Topic Count: 105 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 3,568 Content Per Day: 1.40 Reputation: 4,029 Days Won: 7 Joined: 04/12/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 6, 2017 Praying for you JTC Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GodsGirl123 Posted November 9, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 3 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 38 Content Per Day: 0.02 Reputation: 16 Days Won: 0 Joined: 09/14/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 9, 2017 On 11/5/2017 at 10:21 AM, JTC said: Hi Everyone, When you all pray for me it usually helps. For the past several years I'm finding it harder and harder to walk longer than 5 minutes. I'm also bent over so even though I'm 65 I look 85. In 2010 I went to a spinal orthopedist who had a lumbar MRI done. I can't find the report but I remember he said my back is a mess, but surgery can't help. Everything was minor back then. I remember "spinal stenosis", 2 herniated discs, and a word I couldn't pronounce that started with a S. I was on a medical site earlier and I saw the word. It's 2 words and it's worse than stenosis. This was on the MRI, Ankylosing Spondylitis. Unlike stenosis this illness is systemic which means it can effect me any where in my body. Two usual areas are the eyes and the lungs. I went to an eye Doc last May and he said I need cataract surgery on both eyes. My cousin was going to pay someone to accompany me but then she died. I have COPD so I went to my lung doc a week ago. He didn't like the chest X-Ray so he sent me for a CT Scan. The way I feel I was expecting tumors. No tumors just some nodules. Tonight I read spondylitis often effects the lungs. Furthermore, spondylitis is known to cause fatigue. I'm always exhausted. I almost wish the doc would give me Adderall. This is all bad, very bad. I feel like God hates me. But I read His Word every morning. After I read about spondylitis I felt my depression coming over me like a storm cloud. I wish I still had a friend like I always did prior to 2000. I've also been battling a nicotine addiction and I was making some progress. But I want to die and my foolish mind says, keep smoking. But I won't die, I'll just have more trouble breathing. I wish we had nicotine detox centers. They would force me to quit and I'd have people around me. Only God can help me, I'm beyond Docs. On top of all this, everyone is getting angry at me. The people in the stores I go in everyday and 1 of my Doc's has a receptionist who I thought liked talking to me. A few weeks ago she started screaming at me saying I don't have Medicaid. But I sure do, I pay $135 a month. None of this makes sense, I feel like I'm in the Twilight Zone again. So please pray for me. When I pray nothing happens. God bless you all. Praying for your healing , depression and addiction . you will not gonna die until God dosen't want .. it better to keep yourself healthy rather thn in addiction because addiction will make your health worse. and about people .. people now a days are very unpredictable they get angry easy on anyone , world is getting changed and worse day by day . so don't think much about them . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTC Posted November 9, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 18 Topic Count: 200 Topics Per Day: 0.05 Content Count: 2,795 Content Per Day: 0.65 Reputation: 1,502 Days Won: 1 Joined: 06/25/2012 Status: Offline Birthday: 07/26/1952 Author Share Posted November 9, 2017 Thanks everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts