EJT Posted November 12, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 14 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 12, 2017 I find myself disillusioned with The Church. I gave my life to Christ when I was 16 years old. Today I am 39. The first 10 years of my Christian experience involved serving in a church. During that time I experimented with various roles. After that I was involved in a few roles at three subsequent churches. That brings us to current day. One of the roles I had at the latter three churches involved serving teenagers. I tried being involved in a church Bible study for local teens. That lasted for about 4 months. I ended up having too much conflict with one of the other leaders (he was probably 20 years old at the time). I was about 29, I guess. On my own, outside the Church, I developed a really solid relationship with many local teens. I spent about a year and a half befriending them and saw fruit in that. I moved on. I found an affinity for prison ministry. I had a friend involved with an independent organization (outside a local church denomination) who helped me get involved with outreach at a local prison. I did that for about a year. Eventually several things became too much of a problem there. One was the distance. Another was how long it took to get home (had to work early the next day). Also, there were an immense amount of volunteers. After a while I had no real time to talk to the inmates. Next I spent about 10 years hanging out with motorcycle clubs. That lasted longer than any of the other things I had been involved with. Eventually I got as far as I was going to get with the clubs though, and that was over. Also, over the years I found that my political leanings were in direct conflict with the majority of bikers, Christian and not. That was a problem. I guess in retrospect I always have more success when I am involved in something outside a local church. A conflict has developed, though. When I participate in Sunday services and mid-week Bible studies at a local church, the leaders constantly urge congregants to be involved in one of their ministries. All the staff generalize a sort of motivational speech towards that end. The actual follow up and follow through for that invitation is disappointing. In the end, I feel the staff pick certain people based on their cultural expectations, not so much the leading of the Holy Spirit. My wife and I are at a new church (the fourth). We soaked up the culture there for about a month. A week ago I felt comfortable reaching out to one of the volunteer coordinators so that I could be involved in a planned outreach to local firefighters. When I approached the coordinator he didn’t have specific details about where they were going. He also informed me that they would be going out on a weekday morning. I left, once again, disappointed with yet another attempt to be involved in a Church. I found a contradiction between the church leaderships’ invite to be involved, and the ridiculous scheduling of these events/outreaches. Another problem I find consistently in any church is the schedule of the mid-week Bible studies. I have to get up very early every day. I need a group that starts early and ends early. I have not found one. I have been a part of a mid-week Bible study group for years, however, which allows me to slip out early because I need to. It is still not ideal. It is also not close to home. The result of all of this is I have always stayed a Christian, in a church, on the fray, doing my own thing. I don’t fit into any of the churches local cultures, schedules or profiles for volunteer involvement. It is pretty sad. I tried pleading with church staff about these issues. I never found solutions. Making matters worse, when I had the chance to talk to one of the lead pastors at one of the churches he literally told me “I have never heard of you.” I am not one to toot my own horn. It seems the folks who get the action in these modern churches are the ones with the biggest egos, pocket books, and looks. That is my experience. That may seem like a leap from what I was describing earlier. It is not. I have a lot of experience and history in various churches which lead me to this conclusion. This conclusion is directly connected with the issues I mentioned earlier. If we compare how people look for a career to how people look for a church I feel there are parallels. So to draw from that comparison, I would say I have not found the right “employer” yet. There has to be a “right fit”. At 39 years old, I am definitely disillusioned by this Church experience. To a large extent, I believe many congregants do not have the issues I have. I would attribute that to the fact that many people are content to come and go without being involved. A lot of people prefer to be left alone by the staff. They appreciate hearing the message, having their children taught Christian principles, and that is the gist of their expectation. They have busy lives. They don’t need additional responsibilities. I wonder if my Church experience will be an endless cycle of the same things happening until my time on earth is done…… Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplejeff Posted November 12, 2017 Group: Mars Hill Followers: 12 Topic Count: 12 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 7,689 Content Per Day: 2.39 Reputation: 2 Days Won: 20 Joined: 06/30/2015 Status: Offline Share Posted November 12, 2017 9 minutes ago, EJT said: I wonder if my Church experience will be an endless cycle of the same things happening until my time on earth is done…… Yes, if nothing changes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GandalfTheWise Posted November 12, 2017 Group: Royal Member Followers: 24 Topic Count: 40 Topics Per Day: 0.02 Content Count: 1,459 Content Per Day: 0.60 Reputation: 2,377 Days Won: 2 Joined: 08/23/2017 Status: Offline Share Posted November 12, 2017 Are you limiting yourself to a particular denomination or range of denominations? My sense is that while there is some variation between congregations within a particular denomination, they typically share a lot of common characteristics. Could part of what you've seen could be attributed to that? A deeper question is who has God made you to be? I spent about the first 30 or so years of my Christian walk making my identity the gifts and talents I had as well as the ministries I was involved with. I was often frustrated and felt like I just needed to find my "call" and the right ministry to be involved with or to start on my own. It wasn't until a few years ago that God started working on me to see the Christian life as "being" who He wanted me to be than "doing" the right activities. I found that as I focused on being who He made me to be and walking more closely with Him as that unique person that activities and ministries seemed to come much more naturally to me. Instead of laboring hard to try to see results and find the right thing to do, it was like I could just watch God do stuff and see things naturally happen. A lot of the stress I had about trying to find what I thought I needed to be doing disappeared. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlad Posted November 13, 2017 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 470 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 171 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/02/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/07/1946 Share Posted November 13, 2017 20 hours ago, EJT said: I find myself disillusioned with The Church. I gave my life to Christ when I was 16 years old. Today I am 39. The first 10 years of my Christian experience involved serving in a church. During that time I experimented with various roles. After that I was involved in a few roles at three subsequent churches. That brings us to current day. One of the roles I had at the latter three churches involved serving teenagers. I tried being involved in a church Bible study for local teens. That lasted for about 4 months. I ended up having too much conflict with one of the other leaders (he was probably 20 years old at the time). I was about 29, I guess. On my own, outside the Church, I developed a really solid relationship with many local teens. I spent about a year and a half befriending them and saw fruit in that. I moved on. I found an affinity for prison ministry. I had a friend involved with an independent organization (outside a local church denomination) who helped me get involved with outreach at a local prison. I did that for about a year. Eventually several things became too much of a problem there. One was the distance. Another was how long it took to get home (had to work early the next day). Also, there were an immense amount of volunteers. After a while I had no real time to talk to the inmates. Next I spent about 10 years hanging out with motorcycle clubs. That lasted longer than any of the other things I had been involved with. Eventually I got as far as I was going to get with the clubs though, and that was over. Also, over the years I found that my political leanings were in direct conflict with the majority of bikers, Christian and not. That was a problem. I guess in retrospect I always have more success when I am involved in something outside a local church. A conflict has developed, though. When I participate in Sunday services and mid-week Bible studies at a local church, the leaders constantly urge congregants to be involved in one of their ministries. All the staff generalize a sort of motivational speech towards that end. The actual follow up and follow through for that invitation is disappointing. In the end, I feel the staff pick certain people based on their cultural expectations, not so much the leading of the Holy Spirit. My wife and I are at a new church (the fourth). We soaked up the culture there for about a month. A week ago I felt comfortable reaching out to one of the volunteer coordinators so that I could be involved in a planned outreach to local firefighters. When I approached the coordinator he didn’t have specific details about where they were going. He also informed me that they would be going out on a weekday morning. I left, once again, disappointed with yet another attempt to be involved in a Church. I found a contradiction between the church leaderships’ invite to be involved, and the ridiculous scheduling of these events/outreaches. Another problem I find consistently in any church is the schedule of the mid-week Bible studies. I have to get up very early every day. I need a group that starts early and ends early. I have not found one. I have been a part of a mid-week Bible study group for years, however, which allows me to slip out early because I need to. It is still not ideal. It is also not close to home. The result of all of this is I have always stayed a Christian, in a church, on the fray, doing my own thing. I don’t fit into any of the churches local cultures, schedules or profiles for volunteer involvement. It is pretty sad. I tried pleading with church staff about these issues. I never found solutions. Making matters worse, when I had the chance to talk to one of the lead pastors at one of the churches he literally told me “I have never heard of you.” I am not one to toot my own horn. It seems the folks who get the action in these modern churches are the ones with the biggest egos, pocket books, and looks. That is my experience. That may seem like a leap from what I was describing earlier. It is not. I have a lot of experience and history in various churches which lead me to this conclusion. This conclusion is directly connected with the issues I mentioned earlier. If we compare how people look for a career to how people look for a church I feel there are parallels. So to draw from that comparison, I would say I have not found the right “employer” yet. There has to be a “right fit”. At 39 years old, I am definitely disillusioned by this Church experience. To a large extent, I believe many congregants do not have the issues I have. I would attribute that to the fact that many people are content to come and go without being involved. A lot of people prefer to be left alone by the staff. They appreciate hearing the message, having their children taught Christian principles, and that is the gist of their expectation. They have busy lives. They don’t need additional responsibilities. I wonder if my Church experience will be an endless cycle of the same things happening until my time on earth is done…… A Christian church in general is sacred. A Christian should not break away from his church. Another matter is how often you go to church. I go to church rather seldom. That is why every visit is important. If a person thinks that it is an obligation to go there regularly even when he has no desire I think it is wrong. I go there seldom but every visit is a holiday and a very important event. May be people feel disillusioned because they expect from the clergy to be like saints. They are not as a rule. As a rule they are the people with their weaknesses. Sometimes it is depressing. But you should know that a church is not an assembly of holy people but of common sinners who are eager to get rid of their sins. Sometimes it takes a long time. Go to church without unnecessary expectations, go there to be with Jesus. Be tolerant to the clergy. They are people like you. Do not pay any attention to what is wrong in your eyes. Feel free and relaxed. If tired go home. That is what I think and do and I am not disillusioned. May be that will also help you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Willa Posted November 13, 2017 Group: Worthy Ministers Followers: 68 Topic Count: 186 Topics Per Day: 0.04 Content Count: 14,242 Content Per Day: 3.33 Reputation: 16,652 Days Won: 30 Joined: 08/14/2012 Status: Offline Share Posted November 13, 2017 I go to church to worship and praise God in the congregation, and to study the Bible (our sermons). Some people are called to minister through the church and some through other organizations. Some go door to door and reach out at local events like the fair. My philosophy is to bloom where you are planted. Minister first to your family, reach out to friends and co workers. We have a local mission that provides opportunity for ministry and some lead music there, others give a message or a testimony.. There are nursing homes that welcome ministry as well, and local chaplaincy service. There is nothing wrong with reaching out to the community through other organizations. By shutting doors in your church God may be guiding you to minister elsewhere. I am sorry your dreams to minister have fallen through. I didn't really want to hear that my home is my mission field, and extended family and friends. But God impressed on me that this is my most important area of ministry. God may tell you otherwise. The apostles were told to go first to Judea and Samaria, and then to the world. We start at home and move out from there. Our son sends a message by text every morning to his family. It includes a Scripture and a short word of encouragement. It is hard for him to see his teenagers all the time because of schedules. But he reminds them daily of God's word and prays for them. He is a cool dad. Don't be angry at the church or at God, or even at yourself. That just makes you unusable. Instead rejoice in the Lord and trust Him, even when you don't feel like it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EJT Posted November 16, 2017 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 14 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 13 Days Won: 0 Joined: 11/11/2017 Status: Offline Author Share Posted November 16, 2017 On 11/12/2017 at 2:39 PM, GandalfTheWise said: Are you limiting yourself to a particular denomination or range of denominations? My sense is that while there is some variation between congregations within a particular denomination, they typically share a lot of common characteristics. Could part of what you've seen could be attributed to that? A deeper question is who has God made you to be? I spent about the first 30 or so years of my Christian walk making my identity the gifts and talents I had as well as the ministries I was involved with. I was often frustrated and felt like I just needed to find my "call" and the right ministry to be involved with or to start on my own. It wasn't until a few years ago that God started working on me to see the Christian life as "being" who He wanted me to be than "doing" the right activities. I found that as I focused on being who He made me to be and walking more closely with Him as that unique person that activities and ministries seemed to come much more naturally to me. Instead of laboring hard to try to see results and find the right thing to do, it was like I could just watch God do stuff and see things naturally happen. A lot of the stress I had about trying to find what I thought I needed to be doing disappeared. I have been involved in one, non-denominational, multi-campus church, and two mainline denominations. I like what you had to share. Makes sense. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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