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Hi! I just hope someone could enlighten me with some christian advice that would help me get through with this.

Its me finding it hard how to deal with my emotions everytime my husband gets to hang out with his friends, though he goes out very seldom just during reunions in his school-day friends & classmates. Our relationship is great no doubt we love each other have all the time for each other and grows better everytime. I just notice for three years of marriage I don’t know why it felt uncomfortable whenever he spend his time with them and enjoy their company. I admit, I’m a stay-at-home mom, an aloof type who doesn’t go out with friends always unlike him, being a leader on his school-day pals & is a friend to everybody. It felt bad like I’m ruining his social life. On the other hand I feel like I’m no part of it whenever he goes home and doesn’t share to me what had happened. Its like I’m missing a piece of his life that I don’t know about. I have no problem with our common circle of friends. He even spent all of his time to us his son everyday. However, I can’t deny the fact that it makes me uncomfortable when me and my son left out at home while he takes time with others and asking me to extend few more hours  with them. The other thing is that one of his college friends is his ex’s but they’re good friends now but regardless, I feel the same way with his other friends. Do I make myself selfish? I’ve been honest with him with this situation, we did talked and Ive tried to embrace this situation and get along with it but the moment he can’t limit his time it pisses me off and makes me feel less-priority. Its kinda unhealthy for our marriage and I need some fixin’..
Thanks. 

What are your thoughts?

What were your experiences?

Am I not alone?

 

 

Edited by Nikka
Few gramatical error

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Does he love Jesus and lead your home with prayer and Bible reading?   Does he attend church regularly?   If he does you may have less concern.  But if he is absorbed in the customs of the world, drinking in bars and the like, you may have more to be concerned over.  

 

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1 hour ago, Nikka said:

Hi! I just hope someone could enlighten me with some christian advice that would help me get through with this.

Its me finding it hard how to deal with my emotions everytime my husband gets to hang out with his friends, though he goes out very seldom just during reunions in his school-day friends & classmates. Our relationship is great no doubt we love each other have all the time for each other and grows better everytime. I just notice for three years of marriage I don’t know why it felt uncomfortable whenever he spend his time with them and enjoy their company. I admit, I’m a stay-at-home mom, an aloof type who doesn’t go out with friends always unlike him, being a leader on his school-day pals & is a friend to everybody. It felt bad like I’m ruining his social life. On the other hand I feel like I’m no part of it whenever he goes home and doesn’t share to me what had happened. Its like I’m missing a piece of his life that I don’t know about. I have no problem with our common circle of friends. He even spent all of his time to us his son everyday. However, I can’t deny the fact that it makes me uncomfortable when me and my son left out at home while he takes time with others and asking me to extend few more hours  with them. The other thing is that one of his college friends is his ex’s but they’re good friends now but regardless, I feel the same way with his other friends. Do I make myself selfish? I’ve been honest with him with this situation, we did talked and Ive tried to embrace this situation and get along with it but the moment he can’t limit his time it pisses me off and makes me feel less-priority. Its kinda unhealthy for our marriage and I need some fixin’..
Thanks. 

What are your thoughts?

What were your experiences?

Am I not alone?

 

 

There should be no jealous feelings if your husband wants to spend a little time with his friends. You need to pray about this and ask God to search your heart as to why you resent your husband having a good time out occasionally. You need to find some Christian friends of your own. Perhaps at your Church? You could have a night out with the girls occasionally. Then he could stay home with your son while you and a girlfriend go out to dinner or do what is fun to you. It is important to keep your individuality in a marriage or some people feel smothered. If he was doing this a lot or if you had concerns of him being with other women that would be a whole different situation. Do you feel that you are a controlling person? Yes, it is self centered.

 

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TBH, I think you are overreacting a bit. You said yourself that your relationship is great and that you both love each other very much. People cannot spend every waking moment of their lives together and need their individual time. 

I volunteered to watch the kids tomorrow so my man can go to the movies with his friends after church. He’d do the same for me. Relationships are a balancing act and need trust, respect and communication. Unless you think he is doing something wrong while out with his friends you need to allow him some freedom to do what he likes as I hope he’d do for you! 

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Unless he's spending an inordinate amount of time with them, the thing to be concerned with is what goes on with them. If they're not doing unseemly things though, then I'd say you're overreacting a bit. It's normal to have friends and hang out with them. Some people are more introverted and don't need to spend a lot of time with others or hang out with friends. I'm that way, and it sounds like you are, too. But some people are gregarious and extroverted and need to see their friends and talk and laugh etc. Don't let that alone make you think you aren't his top priority.

I would advise you ask God to let you know if you're overreacting or if this is a real problem. Ask Him to give you wisdom and understanding in this matter.

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