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Would you place a loved one in a nursing home after hearing this?


Justmemyselfandi

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A dying vet needed CPR. Hidden video shows his nurse laughing instead.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/to-your-health/wp/2017/11/18/a-dying-vet-needed-cpr-hidden-video-shows-his-nurse-laughing-instead/?utm_term=.09c7ed3e87bd

 

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By the late winter of 2014, James Dempsey had served in a world war, raised children, buried a wife and seen the best of his health behind him. As he prepared for a stay at a nursing home on the outskirts of Atlanta, the 89-year-old began to feel nervous.

So his family hid a camera in his room at Northeast Atlanta Health and Rehabilitation, Dempsey’s son later told WSB-TV. His father knew about it, he said, but the nurses didn’t.

James Dempsey died in that room Feb. 27, 2014, in front of the secret camera. What his family saw on the video made them sue the facility.

Portions of the hidden video were aired this week by another news station, NBC 11 Alive. The clips appear to show Dempsey gasping for air, begging for help and collapsing that morning while nurses barely attempt to revive him and at one point laugh over his bed.

 

 

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Check out the date, Feb 2014. The nurses were fired and lost their licenses. And it is not your typical nursing home. And despite what the sensational headline may imply, it was NOT at a VA facility. The poor man was simply a Vet.

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Regardless of the date  or place, the question is: Would you place a relative in a nursing home?

Well no, but one had better be prepared financially to be able to keep an elderly person in need of care at home. They tend to need 18 hours or more of real help and someone on call the other six hours too.

Personal experience suggests an expense of between $18,000 and $24,000 a month in real dollar cost. 

So there is an economy of scale at a nursing or rehab facility and there are the numbers needed too when it takes three people to move mom or dad or uncle Bill.

As a family we have never ever left a family member alone at a hospital or rehab. We have someone there physically. We set up schedules, and take shifts. It is one heck of a sacrifice. It wears one down over time!!! There is no getting around that. We are into our fifth family member to need the care, that I have been involved with. Guess I am likely next, come to think of it.

Not everyone has family that can do what we have done. It will not be a matter of love nor concern, but  the hard necessity of making choices and then being able to withstand the physical strain of years and years of caring for family plus the astronomic financial burden. I am now starting into my own fourth decade of it. 

Through it all I have learned to dislike some famous hospitals most all rehab facilities the system of medical health insurance,and appreciate so much the last place when pain of horrible diseases overcome ability to give comfort any longer, hospice.

Just saying "I would not put a relative into a nursing home", is not an answer. An answer is the putting into place a total plan for your own family and network of people you know well.

Then plea to and praise God for the strength needed to get through it all.

 

Edited by Neighbor
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2 hours ago, Neighbor said:

Regardless of the date  or place, the question is: Would you place a relative in a nursing home?

Well no, but one had better be prepared financially to be able to keep an elderly person in need of care at home. They tend to need 18 hours or more of real help and someone on call the other six hours too.

Personal experience suggests an expense of between $18,000 and $24,000 a month in real dollar cost. 

So there is an economy of scale at a nursing or rehab facility and there are the numbers needed too when it takes three people to move mom or dad or uncle Bill.

As a family we have never ever left a family member alone at a hospital or rehab. We have someone there physically. We set up schedules, and take shifts. It is one heck of a sacrifice. It wears one down over time!!! There is no getting around that. We are into our fifth family member to need the care, that I have been involved with. Guess I am likely next, come to think of it.

Not everyone has family that can do what we have done. It will not be a matter of love nor concern, but  the hard necessity of making choices and then being able to withstand the physical strain of years and years of caring for family plus the astronomic financial burden. I am now starting into my own fourth decade of it. 

Through it all I have learned to dislike some famous hospitals most all rehab facilities the system of medical health insurance,and appreciate so much the last place when pain of horrible diseases overcome ability to give comfort any longer, hospice.

Just saying "I would not put a relative into a nursing home", is not an answer. An answer is the putting into place a total plan for your own family and network of people you know well.

Then plea to and praise God for the strength needed to get through it all.

 

Oh neighbor you aint that old.    My grandma was fit as a fiddle , drove herself and lived alone.   and did so to the day she died.

at ninety five.  the only thing was that the last few years she had become very night blind and thus it was day time driving only.

NO nursing homes for you neighbor.   You know what was so nice.    Ever since her earliest days she would visit nursing homes to encourage strangers .

She did that too, up till she died.    Always pointing to Christ .   even when interviewed by Lubbock texas tech, cause they were doing a study on the elderly

and since she had such a clear quick mind still.    Never will forget the answer she told those medical students.

They asked her don't you ever worry , living alone , something might happen.   SHE said this.......NO , GOD has ME.   

Guess the medical students got a wee bit of gospel teaching their.   

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Oh I happen to know that there are some horrible nursing homes out there. The care of these elderly patients is atrocious. But families can not afford anything better which is very expensive. You get what you pay for. It is a real problem.

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The ones that are reputable have a long waiting list.   I used to train nurses aides for the school district and took them to some of these homes.  Before it was ever considered to be legal, in the early 80s, they said if the patient no longer wished to live and the relatives agreed, they put them in an isolated room without food or water and allowed them to die from neglect.  The head nurses just said "it is their wish." Most of these could no longer contribute the difference in funding between the cost and what the state provided.  When I reported this to others agencies they really didn't believe me and tried to make excuses.  It is heartbreaking and criminal.  That particular nursing home was part of a chain that operates in the midwest and western USA.  

 

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6 minutes ago, Willa said:

The ones that are reputable have a long waiting list.   I used to train nurses aides for the school district and took them to some of these homes.  Before it was ever considered to be legal, in the early 80s, they said if the patient no longer wished to live and the relatives agreed, they put them in an isolated room without food or water and allowed them to die from neglect.  The head nurses just said "it is their wish." Most of these could no longer contribute the difference in funding between the cost and what the state provided.  When I reported this to others agencies they really didn't believe me and tried to make excuses.  It is heartbreaking and criminal.  That particular nursing home was part of a chain that operates in the midwest and western USA.  

 

There are patients who end up in a hospital coming from a  nursing home who have been abused. There are waiting lists for very nice nursing homes where the patient gets good care and they are very expensive.

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Heartbreaking and criminal are good terms to describe the majority of nursing homes.  The city and state government are frequently just as guilty since many of these places receive only a slap on the wrist for even the worst of crimes.

My wife worked in a few.  One was great, Christian, and very difficult to get into.  Others were not good at places at all.  The nurses and assistants were frequently underpaid and abused.  The doctors involved are frequently just as guilty with their behavior.  The owners of the nursing homes are frequently part of the system so they make the profits and are insulated from any issues.

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Just now, bryan said:

Heartbreaking and criminal are good terms to describe the majority of nursing homes.  The city and state government are frequently just as guilty since many of these places receive only a slap on the wrist for even the worst of crimes.

My wife worked in a few.  One was great, Christian, and very difficult to get into.  Others were not good at places at all.  The nurses and assistants were frequently underpaid and abused.  The doctors involved are frequently just as guilty with their behavior.  The owners of the nursing homes are frequently part of the system so they make the profits and are insulated from any issues.

I have spoken to several women who have worked in various nursing homes and have heard the horror stories.

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You know some people don't have a choice but to put their loved ones in a nursing home and I can imagine it is not an easy decision. Some families just do not have the facilities nor the capacity to take care of their loved one in the way they need to. Nursing homes can be a good thing but we always hear the horror stories. We tend to look at those who have had to make the choice to put their family member into a nursing home as horrible people who don't seem to care for their family which is totally not true and a really unfair assumption. 

Now I on the flip side these horror stories also take place in the higher cost facilities, while maybe at a lower rate. My wife works in one of the higher costs facilities and it is just as sad. Where I maybe tend to judge people is when they put their family member into a home and then completely forget they exist or they don't want anything to do with them. This is really sad. 

I am not saying that is happening here in this discussion. These thoughts just came into my mind since it did have to do with nursing homes. Would I put my parent(s) into a nursing home? I would so hope that I would never have to make that decision. But I can guarantee you that if I had to it would be because I had to but I wouldn't neglect them and would visit them often. 

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