Christian

[Tyler22]

I don't understand my life and how I got here.  I have theories that ive denied the holy spirit throughout my life and god gave me over to a reprobate mind and like the word says, wicked comes upon the wicked man and "he knows not how it happened" (not exact wording but it IS in the Word).  I have this terrifying image in my minds eye of the indescribable suffering ill face in hell.  I cant shake it.  I feel that the best thing to do is suicide, cus if I'm reprobate, I'm basically just prolonging and enhancing my punishment by far greater degrees everyday, unbearable punishment.  There are different levels of severity in hell.  I know every day I'm heaping up more punishment.   There is no way to describe the punishment I am picturing.  Why does hell have to be so unbearable?  I read the Word and pray now, but ive read articles that say if your in my state, its better off to RUN from the Word, the reference the verse to whom much has much more will be required, and to he whom knew his will, and prepared not, will be beaten will blows.  So basically I'm doing things that are adding to this punishment.  I feel really deceived.  Again ive prayed about this for God to take this feeling away but there is no shaking it.  Just an everyday, "fearful expectation of fiery wrath", as the word says.  I just want to know what happens after I die.  This is a nightmare.  I just wish I was never born.  I'm tired of this deceitful feeling.  ITs back and forth.  I always know I'm reprobate but sometimes I forget about it and seek God.  But it always comes back to knowing, with a terrifying feeling in my gut, that I'm reprobate.  I just want to know my punishment, or what will happen when I die.  I'm terrified that its so unbearable.  Like beyond the word unbearable. 

Edited December 27, 2017 by Tyler22

[Adstar]

welcome Tyler22 

The eternal Lake of fire is .. well.. Eternal.. That makes the level or torment in it irrelevant ..  No one wants to be cast into it on the day of judgement.. No one ....  Since you have come seeking it is clear that the LORD has not given you over to that terrible destiny.. Indeed people who are truly blinded lose all belief in Hell or eternal punishment.. You on the other hand still believe in the eternal consequences of unforgiven sin...  So i believe Gods Holy Spirit is working on your conscience still.. I believe it is convicting you and moving you to seek anew..

Humans do not spend eternity in the Lake of fire because they have sinned... But more accurately they spend eternity in the lake of fire because they have rejected the Amazing Atonement secured by the LORD Jesus Christ on the cross for the forgiveness of their sins... If we believe Jesus ( His teachings / His Words ) and we trust 100% that his death and Resurrection secured for us the loving gift of His forgiveness for all our sins then we can be assured that we shall be washed totally by His blood from all our transgressions against His will... 

So salvation is an easy thing for us because our eternal Hero the LORD Jesus Christ has done the Work and went through the suffering of death and has taken out sins and now deems us to be innocent in relation to sins.. This is the awesome grace that God has made possible for us, offered as  a Loving gift for us and all we need to is Believe Jesus and trust in what He did to save us.. Belief and Trust are want we need .. God provides the sacrafice for all our sins..

So do not murder yourself Tyler22..  Believe Jesus and trust in what He went through to save you from the penalty of the eternal lake of fire.. The Lord has moved you to come and seek and to know the truth that will set you free from the terror that has you in bondage..

You are indeed loved Tyler22.. Embrace the Love of the Truth,, that is the Gospel of our LORD and Redeemer Jesus Christ and His forgiveness will be with you each and every day you live for the rest of you life..

 

Edited December 27, 2017 by Adstar