Aba Posted February 14, 2018 Group: Members Followers: 1 Topic Count: 2 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 18 Content Per Day: 0.01 Reputation: 20 Days Won: 0 Joined: 02/11/2018 Status: Offline Share Posted February 14, 2018 On 12/28/2017 at 5:09 PM, Przemek said: Hi Brothers and Sisters im 17 years old and it is my first post on this forum. I Have a great problem with myself and my relationship with God. Im going to start with my testimony. I was born again one month ago, it was wonderful feeling i never felt that way before. I was changed completely i no longer swear, smoke or drink etc. I was so spiritualy awake, my friends didnt recognise me. My Mother was so happy because she is also a believer and she had gone through it. Since this time im all about Jesus Christ. I wont go more into details because that is not the case. The case is that since this time i failed the lord everyday and im still failing him right now. I left all computer games wrong music etc. But i didnt share the gospel how i should. I feel so ashamed of the gospel when im about to share it. Ofcorse i told my closest friends about it, but it is not the main topic in our conversations. Every time i meet with them i feel so bad because im not talking about Jesus and when im about to talk about Him i feel this great fear and then when im back home im So ashamed i didnt share the gospel with them. I've felt into depression and im in it for 3 weeks (i was happy with Jesus for only one week :(). I really take the words of Jesus seriously that we have to deny ourselves, that many are called but few are chosen. I took it so seriously that i left my piano lessons because it interupted time i could spend with God. I thought to myself that surely it would make God happy. But still i feel like i have buried my talent (not musical but spiritual) and i know i did it :(((. I didnt share the gospel and now if i would share it, it would be only because of fear not of love. God's presence has left me. im So spiritualy dead now i have no Joy at all, im just afraid of God because im failing him every second. I dont love Him at all, but i know i should! it is main purpose in human life. I really cant find in myself any love for God and other people and that makes me so mad! I know that im wicked servant and if Jesus would come tommorrow he would cast me into outer darkness... At the beginning it was so wonderful i was being convinced by the Holy Spirit about things that i should do and shouldnt do. I was getting those small revelations when reading the Bible, and all of that has left me... Now it is only pain and fear. I dont know if it does any sense for you but if anyone could help me or give me advice then please... Maybe someone had similar experience. God bless Well the I can tell you something positive about your situation, at least you had the born again experience. I never felt that sense of joy when I was on my face crying for forgiveness. All I have ever felt is worthless and condemned. I have horrible thoughts in my head all day and even when I’m trying to sleep. On top of that I am in an unequally yoked marriage and I fear for my husbands salvation as well. I’m not telling you this so you’ll pity me. I’m telling you this so you know you are not alone. I know how alone and horrible something like this can make you feel. It’s awful, more awful than any feeling I’ve ever felt. I hope that you find peace, I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vlad Posted February 17, 2018 Group: Advanced Member Followers: 5 Topic Count: 5 Topics Per Day: 0.00 Content Count: 470 Content Per Day: 0.09 Reputation: 171 Days Won: 0 Joined: 12/02/2009 Status: Offline Birthday: 04/07/1946 Share Posted February 17, 2018 On 12/29/2017 at 1:09 AM, Przemek said: Hi Brothers and Sisters im 17 years old and it is my first post on this forum. I Have a great problem with myself and my relationship with God. Im going to start with my testimony. I was born again one month ago, it was wonderful feeling i never felt that way before. I was changed completely i no longer swear, smoke or drink etc. I was so spiritualy awake, my friends didnt recognise me. My Mother was so happy because she is also a believer and she had gone through it. Since this time im all about Jesus Christ. I wont go more into details because that is not the case. The case is that since this time i failed the lord everyday and im still failing him right now. I left all computer games wrong music etc. But i didnt share the gospel how i should. I feel so ashamed of the gospel when im about to share it. Ofcorse i told my closest friends about it, but it is not the main topic in our conversations. Every time i meet with them i feel so bad because im not talking about Jesus and when im about to talk about Him i feel this great fear and then when im back home im So ashamed i didnt share the gospel with them. I've felt into depression and im in it for 3 weeks (i was happy with Jesus for only one week :(). I really take the words of Jesus seriously that we have to deny ourselves, that many are called but few are chosen. I took it so seriously that i left my piano lessons because it interupted time i could spend with God. I thought to myself that surely it would make God happy. But still i feel like i have buried my talent (not musical but spiritual) and i know i did it :(((. I didnt share the gospel and now if i would share it, it would be only because of fear not of love. God's presence has left me. im So spiritualy dead now i have no Joy at all, im just afraid of God because im failing him every second. I dont love Him at all, but i know i should! it is main purpose in human life. I really cant find in myself any love for God and other people and that makes me so mad! I know that im wicked servant and if Jesus would come tommorrow he would cast me into outer darkness... At the beginning it was so wonderful i was being convinced by the Holy Spirit about things that i should do and shouldnt do. I was getting those small revelations when reading the Bible, and all of that has left me... Now it is only pain and fear. I dont know if it does any sense for you but if anyone could help me or give me advice then please... Maybe someone had similar experience. God bless Hi, I think it is your age. To many people of your age all seems to be unsettled and wrong. You have to relax for a while and stop blaming yourself. Permanent painful self-criticism and over-analysing is no good at your age. It may even turn you away from God. When I was your age I did not believe in God at all. You will come to love God in good time without forcing yourself. You are trying to be too good at once. There is a joke in Russian "too good is no good". As I understand it an overzealous perfectionist is sometimes likely to give up. An example of over-zeal when some people start strict fasting and die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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