about trust

[Evgeniya]

Here is another problem i want to share. I am 30 and i have been raised in a very emotional family atmosphere, dad was continuously cheating on mom and fights etc. Mother used to tell me everything since i was like 9 or 10, she was crying in front of me, she never tried to hide her and dads problems. Even told me like "dear, every man is cheating, i want you to be wise so you need to be ready for it in the future because wiser wives forgiving their husbands..." So, later when i married my ex-husband i was always ready for his cheatings, i was jealousing, checking his phone with my shaking hands , i was hardly breathing and felt like im going to faint now... I was creating pictures in my mind and i tried my best start trusting but it never worked. I broke our relationship with such sick behavior about 5 years ago. May God bless him as he is about to marry again. The problem is: i am trying my best to destroy that curse over me and my family but it is too hard. My mom didnt find a man, it has been over 18 years since dad finally left her. But she is a very faithful woman and is still waiting which is funny. Seems like she is happy with such "victim" role and is still talking continuously and like proudly even about how hurt she is when people around cant hear it anymore... I dont want to be a victim too but i dont believe and trust a man, doesnt matter how hard i will pray for me and mom (she is russian orthodox believer). Me and her are being very honest to each other and we chat a lot, she gets hurt if i dont pick the phone sometimes. But she still is like happily sharing her pain with people around and then my whole day im being upset... As for me i am being much happier as a single woman so i started to believe it should be this way and its a Gods wish. Maybe He wants me to keep volunteering and thats my main role on this earth.

[Adstar]

Sounds like you are the way you are because your mother set you up to be the way you are.. In regards to men..    Maybe if you did come to trust in a man in the back of your mind you would see that as some kind of betrayal of your mother who told you never to trust a man..   So your mother set you up to fail in your relationship attempts with men..  I have seen many woman who have the same problem as you.. Never being able to trust the men in their lives and because of this they end up taking very unwise actions which end up destroying the relationships they attempt to have with men..

Does that mean that you are cursed with an unbreakable curse dooming you for the rest of your life to be alone?   Well through God anyone can be cured..  Maybe if your love and respect for God rises above the level of love and respect you have for your mother then maybe then His will for you can take over from the will of your mother in determining your life's outcomes..

But in any case God can indeed use damaged human beings who believe Him to serve in his eternal plan is small ways and sometimes in big ways.. His will be done.. 

I hope God causes you to overcome this curse which afflicts you.. Also i personally advise you not to attempt another serious relationship with another man until this cursed chain has been removed from around your neck.. Starting a relationship with another man while still being under this curse will only cause the innocent man to be cursed and suffer unjustly as a guilty man even thought he is innocent of the crime your mother declared all men to be guilty of..

[Justin Adams]

Sounds like you need to find a mature Christian that has discernment.

Jim Staley "Wisdom and Deliverace"

Jim Staley "The Great Deception Recognizing the Voice of the Enemy"  (series)

Watch those two YouTube talks and you will be more likely to be able to find your way. Jim is very balanced and his words have power.

A lot is said about Jim Staley, but like Ken Hovind who is out of prison now, they have much to tell us and their words are true. Just watch the videos and see for yourself.

[Evgeniya]

Yes, thank you. I should definitely pray more to see what is Gods wish for my life. And im avoiding men now as i see a potential danger for my life in them, im afraid to face someone who might break all my interests which i do appreciate now or change my values , im afraid to get hurt...too much  

[4LdKHVCzRDj2]

9 hours ago, Evgeniya said:

Even told me like "dear, every man is cheating, i want you to be wise so you need to be ready for it in the future because wiser wives forgiving their husbands..."

This is not true, but it is understandable to hear such things in the current world we're living in. The problem is: People do not love.

And there is another problem, many people marry without really knowing the person, they just get deceived by wolves in sheep clothing and end up in a hell kind of a relationship.

"Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;
does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil;
does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;
bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." - 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

 

And then they tell you: "But I knew him in the church".

OK, but not everyone who claims to be Christian or a good person actually is, always check the facts.

Men like to deceive women a lot, they do everything they can to get them trapped, lying is more common.

And one day, obviously, he will get tired of pretending something he is not, and the truth will be revealed.

"Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves.
You will know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles?" - Matthew 7:15-16

 

Another thing that is common is that when women notice a bad behavior they think they are going to change him and that is only a detail... Well, most of the times it is not and they discover this in the hard way, when it is too late. I believe they are lacking discernment, and if that is true, please keep feeding on God's Word and ask Him for wisdom and discernment.

 

And it is sad because now you think all men are garbage and enjoy cheating, because that is all you have experienced and know. And this is just getting more common each day, unfortunately. People are just focusing on themselves, their desires, passions, entertainment... They're too focused on sinning and do not care about others.

"And because lawlessness will abound, the love of many will grow cold." - Matthew 24:12

[secretopossumcabal]

It's a symptom of the age we're living in. 

A -COMPLETE- man must have two qualities, alpha male (protection leadership) and beta male (provider loyalty) qualities. Because the society is no longer emphasizing the masculinity in men, this leaves alpha males without beta male qualities (loyalty is a beta male quality), and beta males without alpha male qualities. In the end result, you get women who are mostly attracted to alpha males who don't have any of the loyalty characteristics of the beta males, and the women can't get with the beta males either because being a provider doesn't make a whole man, he needs to protect and guide women, for Eve is Adam's daughter and God has written that women will pine for their men to rule over them, betas cannot do this.  

Satan undermined masculinity, so now it's every man for himself, the women will congregate around the top 20% of alpha males, the betas will descend into videogames and pornography, civilization is heading towards a soulless dystopian future.  

You can observe the fact that civilization no longer prizes masculinity in the movies and cartoons that are out there -- you see them constantly championing feminist and 'girl power' themes, leaving the boys with no clear identity, when that happens, betas don't grow up into alphas, nor do alphas learn to pair their nature with beta qualities. A complete man has push and pull qualities, he pushes women when the time is right (alpha) and he pulls them in when the time is right (beta).

This is the result of masculinity no longer being champion; it's every man for himself, and women can't help put pair themselves with the alphas, nor are the Betas learning to grow out of their manchildren phase.

[Wayne222]

Well anyway you can trust in christ. He is a man and God. By that you can really know some men can be trusted. If a man loves the lord first he will put christ first. And he will not want to cheat on his wife because that is sinning against christ. But being single is not bad. I am single and have more time for Gods things. I find his love is better then the marriage love relationship. 

 

[Igor Evgen]

...I'm avoiding men now as i see a potential danger for my life in them...

Shalom,

Dear Evgenia, in the above answers to your question, I can support the only one thought, even the Written Word of GOD, which definitely has His Answer to literally every question of ours. Just spend more time with the Word, whether studying or meditating, OK?

I pray for your Knowledge, Understanding, and Wisdom to grow on. Peace be to you.

Igor

 

[Justin Adams]

What a great shame this is. In our world of mixed signals the decent men are much abused because of the demon-press and eventually become the monster they are portrayed to be. A self-fulfilling prophesy that is hard to oppose.

Remember Hitler said: Say if often enough and loud enough and it will be believed.

Satan hates men particularly because they are in God's image. The females are taken by storm and fantasy and portrayed to now be the saviors of mankind. The females are the nurturers and supporters that have had their roles 'enhanced' by societal fiction. They now occupy positions they are not well suited to and thus, the female is assailed on all sides by a system that they find threatening.
No wonder they do since the few 'poster-children' that Satan parades around as the epitome of men and their horrible natures just continually scare the women that are unaware of this ploy.

Satan has thus deceived society so completely that men are afraid of their feelings and women have been elevated to the position of Judge of all societal needs. There is little sanity in the current representation of a healthy relationship between a man and a woman. Why?
Because we have succumbed to the lies of the media that is constantly bombarding us with lies, half-truths and a Utopian non-picture of what it should all be like.

Reality takes a back seat to soap operas' tempting nonsense. Unreal. Unnatural. Unholy.

[Justin Adams]

On 12/30/2017 at 1:51 PM, Evgeniya said:

im avoiding men now as i see a potential danger for my life in them

This is a great pity and yet I understand what you are saying. I am a man, yet harming a lady is just not in my makeup. I have been accused of so very much and I do see the picture that is portrayed. We appear to be all tarred with the same brush, so how to overcome that is beyond me.

One thing I do know is that men and women think in differing ways about so many things. They should be complimentary to each other but society has taught us that the differences are to be smoothed over and a woman can be greater at being a man that a man can. And conversely an effeminate man is considered OK and his 'feminine side' is to be lauded and bloated beyond recognition.

People forced into roles they are not naturally suited to is a pressure-cooker with no safety valve. On occasion it goes BANG. Perople see the resultant and not the cause. They do NOT want to entertain the idea that 'stinkin-thinkin' is the real culprit.

So we take little boys and emasculate them and elevate girls above the mix. Then we wonder why this is topsy-turvy. Additionally, most of society has bought into psycho-heresy. This was concocted by a mad man and an occultist, forgetting the spiritual side of the Lord's Creation and supplying ever more distasteful solutions to a messed up inherently faulty ethos. A recipe for disaster - which is what we have.  See it for what it really is. Demonic.