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I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

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4 minutes ago, Faithinyou222 said:

I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

Praying.

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32 minutes ago, Faithinyou222 said:

I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

Are you a Christian? Are you a praying woman? Get on your knees and ask God for help. Give Him your situation. I understand the stress you must be going through. Do you have a Church you attend? If that is the case go to your pastor and ask him for help as well. You will need legal advise. Find out how to get an attorney in your situation. You can get free legal advise.  You can get spousal support in your case until you can get on your feet.

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3 hours ago, Faithinyou222 said:

I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

 

He may make the money, but that does not mean you do not have rights to some of it.  Look into some legal counsel, praying for you.

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9 hours ago, Faithinyou222 said:

I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

Firstly, please know I am praying for you. I cannot even begin to imagine how you're feeling at this particular moment but our Father knows and I ask that He comforts your heart and brings you peace. Turn to Jesus, dear sister, He is our provider - not your husband nor any other person. In most states when a divorce occurs there is a split on the finances, your husband cannot leave you high and dry. I would advise you to reach out to an attorney, some offer free consultations. Speak with your pastor, friends, etc in regards to obtaining work; you are not option less, honey, its just a bit overwhelming right now.  

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Thank you for your kind words and prayers I know that my God will see me through it’s just all so overwhelming and I’m not sure how to get free legal advice so if you know of any please let me know 

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I am a praying woman and believe me I have been doing allot of it  and we just moved from Louisiana to Oklahoma so we did not establish a church here and now I am staying with my daughter in Kansas so I have no contacts here so it will take time to find a church and reach out to people but I know my God will not leave me I am just trying to  still cope with everything and keep strong 

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3 hours ago, Faithinyou222 said:

Thank you for your kind words and prayers I know that my God will see me through it’s just all so overwhelming and I’m not sure how to get free legal advice so if you know of any please let me know 

You might want to call these people.

https://www.kansaslegalservices.org/node/63/get-help

Do not let your husband know what you are doing.

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13 hours ago, Faithinyou222 said:

I have been married for 16 years and about three days ago my husband told me he doesn’t want to be married anymore and hasn’t been happy for awhile and he has been the soul provider all then time and we don’t even fight so I am so devastated and really don’t know how to start over knowing I still love him but he doesn’t love me and how do I support myself and how will I be able to afford a place to live when he has all the money.

Is your husband a Christian?  Is he willing to consider Christian counseling?  

About 10 years, I hit a very low point in life.  We were coming up on our 25th wedding anniversary and I didn't even want to celebrate it.  (As it turned out, I was rather relieved when serious weather conditions forced us to cancel the planned celebration.)   I was burned out at work and at home.  I walked slowly to work and even more slowly to home because I didn't want to be either place.  I had started to entertain thoughts about just giving up and leaving.  I then saw a friend of the family (similar age married a similar amount of time) who up and left his wife for a woman half his age, left the state, and about a week or two later came back to his senses and returned home.  That pretty much shook me to my senses.  It took years to get out of this mode. I had to do it on my own because I didn't want to tell anyone about it, and what I did tell my wife and family didn't lead to any helpful changes.  They simply had no clue what I was feeling and my attempts to explain it seemed to fall on deaf ears.  If I were a more impetuous person, I might have done something I'd now be regretting.  

Some Christian men can hit a point of burnout where they feel unsupported by their family and friends.  A wife and family can be completely unaware that their husband and father is quite lonely, does not feel loved or respected, and feel that the entire weight of the world is on their shoulders.   It's at this time that unhealthy thoughts and doubts can start creeping into their heads.  It's at this time that other women can enter the picture by just simply smiling at him and treating him with respect so he doesn't feel as bad.  Most Christian men in this situation do not start out with the idea of trivially ending a marriage.  They just get ground down to the point where they simply have no more strength to keep going.   Some can get into an emotionless empty state where they just tolerate it and keep their word and integrity no matter what it costs them.  Some have things that just start to hurt so much over time that they just crack and cannot deal with it any more.

Perhaps, it's too late and it's time to circle the wagons.  Perhaps this is a loud warning and there is still much that can be done to rebuild and ignite the passion and love in the relationship.

The bottom line is that there are some big differences between men and women all married couples should be aware of.  The Shaunti Feldhahn books are very helpful for learning about this.  She seems to do good research and presents it well.  Her first book "For Women Only" started off as research for a fiction project.  She wanted to get into the head of a man to write about what men were thinking accurately so she started asking serious questions to Christian men in her life including her husband and father.  She was so surprised that she hadn't had a clue about much of what went on in male heads that she started doing more research and the book "For Women Only" was the result of it.   Also, the Willard Harley "His Needs, Her Needs" book is helpful.  He's a marriage counselor drawing on years of experience.

 

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Wow, suggesting legal services without first suggesting a marriage counselor?  Has anyone considered that God hates divorce? 

I would do you best in finding a marriage counselor and asking your husband to go with you so you can try to work things out.

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